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Gift Etiquette???

I am getting married in January of 2015. We are older and this is not a first marriage for either of us. We have lived together for years so we already have what we want/need. My question is if you can request that your guest do not get a gift persay but instead help financially with the honeymoon account? My mom suggested this idea, I am unsure and do not want to seem rude, ungrateful or anything like that. I just do not need pots and pans or anything else.
What to do?
Heather

Re: Gift Etiquette???

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    Yes, it is rude. You shouldn't assume your guests will get you anything first of all, second of all, if you don't make a registry you'll more than likely receive mostly monetary gifts.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_gift-etiquette-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:227eb566-512f-481a-98c8-b0e27c5a1715Post:c3134618-e973-4580-ac17-b39d5c9cfae6">Gift Etiquette???</a>:
    [QUOTE]I am getting married in January of 2015. We are older and this is not a first marriage for either of us. We have lived together for years so we already have what we want/need. My question is if you can request that your guest do not get a gift persay but instead help financially with the honeymoon account? My mom suggested this idea, I am unsure and do not want to seem rude, ungrateful or anything like that. I just do not need pots and pans or anything else. What to do? Heather
    Posted by hbarry2428[/QUOTE]
    If you don't need anything, don't register for anything.

    Any cash or checks guests give you can go to the honeymoon. You don't need to ask people to fund your vacation for you, ya know?

    There are honeymoon registries that exist, but they just act as middlemen, taking a cut for themselves.
    image
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    I did not mean to sound rude, I just know our families and know that they will give a gift of some sort. I am not asking anyone to fund my vacation for me, wow that is not what I meant. Ok never mind forget I asked.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_gift-etiquette-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:227eb566-512f-481a-98c8-b0e27c5a1715Post:b8a482be-a399-4116-9736-e88901d2bd7b">Re: Gift Etiquette???</a>:
    [QUOTE]I did not mean to sound rude, I just know our families and know that they will give a gift of some sort. I am not asking anyone to fund my vacation for me, wow that is not what I meant. Ok never mind forget I asked.
    Posted by hbarry2428[/QUOTE]

    You didn't sound rude at all.  Some people come on here and gloat about how smart they are to do a honeymoon registry.  You actually asked if it would be against etiquette and sounded like you didn't like the idea anyway.  We just responded with why on here it is frowned upon.  Really, if you don't want upgrades, don't register at all and people will simply give you money.

    image
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_gift-etiquette-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:227eb566-512f-481a-98c8-b0e27c5a1715Post:b8a482be-a399-4116-9736-e88901d2bd7b">Re: Gift Etiquette???</a>:
    [QUOTE]I did not mean to sound rude, I just know our families and know that they will give a gift of some sort. I am not asking anyone to fund my vacation for me, wow that is not what I meant. Ok never mind forget I asked.
    Posted by hbarry2428[/QUOTE]
    That may not be what you meant, but that is what it's going to come across to your guests as.
    And we're not saying you're being rude... It was your mom's idea (that she probably heard from someone else) and you asked us what we thought of it. And we told you, that's all.

    If they want to give you a gift, they will. You can have a small registry of some upgrades, like new towels. If they want to give you cash or a check, they will whether or not you tell them beforehand what the money is going towards.
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    Yes just plan the honeymoon you can afford.  You are likely to get a lot of cash so if you want to use it for your honeymoon, I'd wait and schedule the honeymoon once you know how much you have saved and how much you got as gifts.  Or spend it on a big 1 year trip instead of a honeymoon.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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    Don't register or have only a small, small registry. Tell family members that you are hoping to save up for your honeymoon and if they are asked about where you are registered to pass on the message. In the meantime, plan the honeymoon you can afford.
     Daisypath Anniversary tickers
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