Bridal Shower questions

[Deleted User]

Godmother is hosting my niece's bridal shower and asked me to ask you all for feedback.  I wasn't sure on all this either.  Thank you all in advance.
Can the invite be an Evite?  (all invited have valid and regularly used emails)
Date and time on a Sunday 11-1...is that long enough? Opinons on a weekend or weekday shower appreciated
Games or no games?
Children will be invited to wedding, so is it ok if an invited guest brings them, or do we word invite to include kids?
Alcohol?  (hoping you all say yes to this....)
Bride's parents divorced and don't get along.  This is the groom's side hosting, so can we NOT invite bride's mom, or any on her side of the family?  Bride has great relationship with step-mom.
There will be more showers for bride so do we invite bridesmaids who are not family? (we thought we could give them a break re another shower, another gift)
Anything that you can't stand at a shower or absolutely love?

baystateapple

You can do an evite.

11 - 1 is fine.  I don't think my showers were more than 2 hours.  We didn't play any games, though, so if you're planning on doing any shower games then those might take some more time.

I hate shower games, so I'd say no.  Food and presents is plenty to occupy people.

You don't have to write "kids invited".  If people want to bring their kids they will (hopefully) ask.  My aunt showed up with her granddaughter without asking, which was kind of fail but whatever.

Yes, alcohol, if you want it.

I think you should probably still invite the bride's mother.  She can decide whether or not she wants to come.

You do not have to invite bridesmaids who aren't family, especially if they are being invited to another shower.

I just hate showers that go for hours and hours and hours.  Oh, and the worst thing?  Everyone go around and say something about yourself and how you met the bride.  My cousin did this and it went on for a full HOUR of her bridal shower, and it was ridiculous.

dumdumfroggie

Can the invite be an Evite?  (all invited have valid and regularly used emails)  It can if you want.

Date and time on a Sunday 11-1...is that long enough? Opinons on a weekend or weekday shower appreciated  That should be long enough.  If you're doing it during the day it should be on the weekend so no one has to take time off work.

Games or no games?  Personally, I hate games.  However, if you want them I'd stick to 1, maybe 2. 

Children will be invited to wedding, so is it ok if an invited guest brings them, or do we word invite to include kids? If you want kids there I'd put their names on the invitation, you can also spread it word of mouth.

Alcohol?  (hoping you all say yes to this....) Always.  As long as there are other options as well.

Bride's parents divorced and don't get along.  This is the groom's side hosting, so can we NOT invite bride's mom, or any on her side of the family?  Bride has great relationship with step-mom. I would ask the bride if she's ok with her mother not being invited.  Beyond the mother though, you don't have to invite anyone else.

There will be more showers for bride so do we invite bridesmaids who are not family? (we thought we could give them a break re another shower, another gift) Usually the BMs get invited to all showers, but it's not required.  I'd ask the bride what she would like.

adamar15

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridal-shower-questions-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:2308ef89-721c-46d5-828a-a8e63752023ePost:eb6bfae1-edf9-43ba-bdc1-7cbaa40ff395">Bridal Shower questions</a>:
[QUOTE]Godmother is hosting my niece's bridal shower and asked me to ask you all for feedback.  I wasn't sure on all this either.  Thank you all in advance. Can the invite be an Evite?  (all invited have valid and regularly used emails) <strong>I have no problem with evites.  </strong>Date and time on a Sunday 11-1...is that long enough? <strong>Plenty</strong> Opinons on a weekend or weekday shower appreciated Games or no games? <strong>If you do games, don't do 65731686541 of them. </strong>Children will be invited to wedding, so is it ok if an invited guest brings them, or do we word invite to include kids? <strong>That's up to you.  If you want the kids there then invite them. </strong> Alcohol?  (hoping you all say yes to this....) <strong>Yes  </strong>Bride's parents divorced and don't get along.  This is the groom's side hosting, so can we NOT invite bride's mom, or any on her side of the family?  Bride has great relationship with step-mom. There will be more showers for bride so do we invite bridesmaids who are not family? (we thought we could give them a break re another shower, another gift) <strong>I think it would be a big slap in the bride's mom's face if she wasn't invited.  BMs are normally invited to all showers but they don't need to bring a gift to every one.  </strong>Anything that you can't stand at a shower or absolutely love?  <strong>Can't stand stupid games.  Love good things to eat and drink.</strong>
Posted by IamTheMommaOfTheBride[/QUOTE]

Stackeye210

Can the invite be an Evite? (all invited have valid and regularly used emails)   YES
Date and time on a Sunday 11-1...is that long enough? Opinons on a weekend or weekday shower appreciated  YES
Games or no games?  That's your preference.  Maybe a few ice breakers, or none, no biggie
Children will be invited to wedding, so is it ok if an invited guest brings them, or do we word invite to include kids?  That's up to the host, if you are ok with kids, then let them come.  It could probably be a word of mouth thing, or you could include names on the invite.
Alcohol? (hoping you all say yes to this....)  But of course!
Bride's parents divorced and don't get along. This is the groom's side hosting, so can we NOT invite bride's mom, or any on her side of the family? Bride has great relationship with step-mom.  Whomever is hosting can invite whoever they would like as long as they're invited to the wedding.  That's a judgement call on the hosts part
There will be more showers for bride so do we invite bridesmaids who are not family? (we thought we could give them a break re another shower, another gift) That's also the hosts judgement call.  Maybe the bride can let them know there's no pressure one way or another. 
Anything that you can't stand at a shower or absolutely love? I like games, but I'm weird like that.  I like alcohol, but then you might want to make it like 3 hours long.     

achiduck

1) Yes, evites are fine but keep in mind that older people may not have a computer and/or might not understand how to RSVP.

2) 11-1 is fine, but if I was a guest I'd be expecting to be fed lunch at that time. If you're not planning to feed them a full mean, plan it during the middle of the afternoon (ie 2-4).  I would not go to a weekday shower unless it was in the evening so I didn't have to take time off work.

3) I've been to one shower where a child was there and it was an absolute nightmare but in all fairness it was the mothers fault since she wouldn't reign in her kid.

4) Alsohol is fine, but I wouldn't make it a huge deal. A pitcher of sangria is one thing, a full bar is another thing entirely.

5) The guest list is really up to the hosts. If these people can't be civil with each other then the host needs to decide whether or not to invite said persons.

6) I hate excessive game playing. One or two is fine but don't make me play games for 90 minutes.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridal-shower-questions-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:2308ef89-721c-46d5-828a-a8e63752023ePost:c61a9cb7-ff76-4244-8b46-a74f59186136">Re: Bridal Shower questions</a>:
[QUOTE]My sister hosted an did an evite. I think it was from 11-4 but I cannnot remember. We played bridal bingo and the winners got prizes.  People made up their own boards by filling in the spaces with presents they thought I got. We had one small child come who was invited to the wedding. We didn't do alcohol but I don't see why you can't. You don't want to invite the bride's MOM?
Posted by edielaura[/QUOTE]

I know....reading it, it sounds awful doesn't it?  The bride's mom has been horrible to her former husband's family.  Bride's father never said a mean thing against the ex,  in order to keep the peace and not screw up kids.  The host of the shower has not asked the bride, but it sounds like bride's mom's family will be hosting a shower and not inviting any of us on the FOB's side....and we are ok with that!  Does that better explain the reasoning, and is it acceptable?

[Deleted User]

re food served...
Brunch, which I consider a full meal. 
Alcohol option were going to be more than mimosas...wine and margaritas

achiduck

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridal-shower-questions-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:2308ef89-721c-46d5-828a-a8e63752023ePost:85d521ea-9b22-423c-a80e-76b72c775647">Re: Bridal Shower questions</a>:
[QUOTE]re food served... Brunch, which I consider a full meal.  Alcohol option were going to be more than mimosas...wine and margaritas
Posted by IamTheMommaOfTheBride[/QUOTE]

That sounds fine to me then.

strlzfan11

Ditto DJ on the church thing for a Sunday shower.  I would probably bump it to at the earliest 1-3 or 2-4 if you have a lot guests who are regular church attenders.

Meegles4

Margaritas are weird to me for brunch (unless you're doing some sort of Mexican themed brunch). I'd stick with mimosas, wine, and maybe bloody mary's or some other typical "breakfast" drink if you needed something else.

I also don't mind games, but keep it to just one or two. We did bridal bingo during present opening, and then we played the newlywed game (this worked because my H was there). The host asked us each questions independently and on the day of the shower we had to see how many we both got right. Guests got to guess how many they thought we'd match up on and whoever guessed closest got a prize. It took maybe 15 minutes or so and I think guests enjoyed it -- it was funny seeing how we answered questions and what things we got wrong.

strlzfan11

Also, I think you should still invite her mother.  My mom was beyong pissed when she wasn't invited to my sister's shower that was hosted by BIL's family.

LDubHawksFan

I haven't had mine yet, but I've been to a few.

Can the invite be an Evite?  (all invited have valid and regularly used emails)
I think this is fine if everyone knows how to use Evite.  I have several older ladies coming, so we are doing cheap invites from Vistaprint.
Date and time on a Sunday 11-1...is that long enough? Opinons on a weekend or weekday shower appreciated
I think that sounds fine, but you should plan on heavy snacks or sandwiches since you are planning on through lunch.  If not, then maybe push it to 2-4.  Weekend showers are better for most.
Games or no games?
Games are fine if they aren't super cheesy and don't have too many or too long of ones.
Children will be invited to wedding, so is it ok if an invited guest brings them, or do we word invite to include kids?
If you don't want kids, don't list them on the invite (or in Evite, I think there is a way not to have a kids number listed).  I might have kids at mine, but they are all older.  In fact I requested that my 13 yo neice be invited to the big girl event.  Little kids could get out of control though.
Alcohol?  (hoping you all say yes to this....)
Sure!  I think your lunch time might be nice for mimosas or sangria!
Bride's parents divorced and don't get along.  This is the groom's side hosting, so can we NOT invite bride's mom, or any on her side of the family?  Bride has great relationship with step-mom.
So are you inviting step mom?  I think you should ask the bride.  I think mom's should be invited to both unless distance doesn't allow.  But outside of that, it's fine not to invite any more bride family.
There will be more showers for bride so do we invite bridesmaids who are not family?
(we thought we could give them a break re another shower, another gift)
I've always heard that they should be invited to all, but they don't have to attend.  Again, since you & Godmother are hosting, you can decide based on space if you would like to extend the invite to them.
Anything that you can't stand at a shower or absolutely love?

melb2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridal-shower-questions-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2308ef89-721c-46d5-828a-a8e63752023ePost:5a5f28b7-5df6-47d5-895c-fe2692109cc7">Re: Bridal Shower questions</a>:
[QUOTE]You can do an evite. 11 - 1 is fine.  I don't think my showers were more than 2 hours.  We didn't play any games, though, so if you're planning on doing any shower games then those might take some more time. I hate shower games, so I'd say no.  Food and presents is plenty to occupy people. You don't have to write "kids invited".  If people want to bring their kids they will (hopefully) ask.  My aunt showed up with her granddaughter without asking, which was kind of fail but whatever. Yes, alcohol, if you want it. I think you should probably still invite the bride's mother.  She can decide whether or not she wants to come. You do not have to invite bridesmaids who aren't family, especially if they are being invited to another shower.<strong> I just hate showers that go for hours and hours and hours.</strong>  Oh, and the worst thing?  Everyone go around and say something about yourself and how you met the bride.  My cousin did this and it went on for a full HOUR of her bridal shower, and it was ridiculous.
Posted by baystateapple[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>All of the above especially the highlighted... I think showers get boring quickly and I hate games.

</div>

DramaGeek

In Response to Bridal Shower questions:
Godmother is hosting my niece's bridal shower and asked me to ask you all for feedback.  I wasn't sure on all this either.  Thank you all in advance. 

Can the invite be an Evite?  (all invited have valid and regularly used emails) 

I don't see why not,  though it sets the tone for it to be informal.  If you're planning on this being a more formal affair, paper invites would be better.

Date and time on a Sunday 11-1...is that long enough? 

I've never seen a shower invite with an ending time - they end when they end.  That said, a shower that lasts longer than 2-3 hours is the shower from hell in my book.

Opinons on a weekend or weekday shower appreciated 

I prefer weekend, and I also prefer that it not cut my day in half.  I hate the typical Sat or Sun 1 opr 2 pm shower.  I can't really do anything before hand, and by the time I get home it's dinner time.  The only issue I can see with 11 am is if people are church goers.

Games or no games?

For the love of all that is holy, do not do that damn toilet paper bride game.  Actually, I don't like most games and try to find an alternative or not do them at all.  I do enjoy bridal bingo cause it gives me something to do during the gift opening.

 Children will be invited to wedding, so is it ok if an invited guest brings them, or do we word invite to include kids? 

You don't have to specifically invite them, but you can.

Alcohol?  (hoping you all say yes to this....)

Whatever peole are comfortable with.  I've only been to one shower with alcohol, but we're not big drinkers in my circle.

 Bride's parents divorced and don't get along.  This is the groom's side hosting, so can we NOT invite bride's mom, or any on her side of the family?  Bride has great relationship with step-mom. 

I think it's really strange to not invite the bride's mom.  It's one thing to not include aunts, cousins, etc, but the mom?  Then again, if the bride doesn't have a good relationship with her mom, perhaps it's ok.  I'd ask the bride her preference.

There will be more showers for bride so do we invite bridesmaids who are not family? (we thought we could give them a break re another shower, another gift) 

I would invite them, but that might be something else to ask the bride.

Anything that you can't stand at a shower or absolutely love?

I hate showers in general, but I guess that isn't what you wanted to know :-P