HELP - Guest List Confusion!

becky&tyler

My fiance & I set out to plan a small, destination wedding but it keeps growing & growing. He has a big family & I have a large extended family, between the two of us the guest list keeps getting longer & longer. 

I need advice on two similiar situations. The first, he has two cousins by marriage (his aunt married their dad), one of which we know & see at family functions. The other who we do not know well & almost never see. I've only met her once & he's only seen her a few times in general. We are considering inviting one, but not the other. Opinions?

Along the same lines, I have a son & am close with his dad's family. I am close with 2 of his 3 uncles (his dad's brothers). I am considering sending an invite to the 2 uncles I know well & not the other uncle, but am worried about hurting feelings.

The wedding will be in Belize & the chances of any of these people being able to make it are very slim, but I want them to feel included in our special day. 

We are planning for a wedding reception after the wedding in the local area. So do I skip sending all the people mentioned above wedding invites & just send them invitations to the local reception when we get back?

Thanks for the help!

Kate61487

everyone invitd to the AHR should be invited to the wedding.

If it was me, and the goal truly was to have a small intimate wedding I wouldn't invite any of them.  Inviting one cousin and not the other is okay if you're truly friends with the cousin, but I assume you're inviting the aunt and uncle, so to include one cousin and not the other you're excluding one single member of a family and that's bound to cause some hurt feelings.  As for the uncles: I don't know your relatioship with them obviously, but I doubt they'd be hurt if you don't invite them; they are your ex's family after all.  If you really are trying to keep it small start cutting anyone you really truly can't imagine getting married without.

angelsong21

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_help-guest-list-confusion?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2323ba9a-5920-46e7-96f7-6c111e01c4ecPost:53ee6a6d-76ce-49ab-8dd8-5bf5d97ab9ac">Re: HELP - Guest List Confusion!</a>:
[QUOTE]everyone invitd to the AHR should be invited to the wedding. If it was me, and the goal truly was to have a small intimate wedding I wouldn't invite any of them.  Inviting one cousin and not the other is okay if you're truly friends with the cousin, but I assume you're inviting the aunt and uncle, so to include one cousin and not the other<strong> you're excluding one single member of a family and that's bound to cause some hurt feelings.</strong>  As for the uncles: I don't know your relatioship with them obviously, but I doubt they'd be hurt if you don't invite them; they are your ex's family after all. <strong> If you really are trying to keep it small start cutting anyone you really truly can't imagine getting married without.</strong>
Posted by Kate61487[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Both of the bolded items.  I don't think you can include one cousin and not the other.   I think the only way you are going to get the guest list down is to cut anyone you just absolutely couldn't imagine getting married without, as PP said.

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