Wedding Etiquette Forum

Would it be inappropriate to ask someone to be a bridesmaid if.....

I am friends with a girl whom had a destination wedding last year and they only invited their closest friends and family.  My fiance and I were not invited though we are friends, I assume because the wedding took place 12+ hours away and it was a small gathering.  There were no hard feelings as we understood and due to our work schedules, could not get off for an extended period of time even if we had been invited.  I am now getting married and am thinking about asking her to be a bridesmaid in my own wedding.  Is this inappropriate to ask someone to be in your wedding when they did not invite me to theirs?

Thanks!


Re: Would it be inappropriate to ask someone to be a bridesmaid if.....

  • Weddings are not tit for tat if you count her as one of your nearest and dearest ask her.
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  • The only thing that matters when asking bridesmaids or groomsmen is if you want them in the wedding.  If you do, ask her!
  • If you want her standing beside you then ask her, the rest is just details.
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  • Why wouldn't this be appropriate? Just because your friend got married doesn't mea you had to be invited or be included in theirs in order for you to include them in yours. That is not how it should work out.

    I was invited to 2 different weddings a few years ago, and by the time I was planning my own wedding, I did not have them 2 friends on my guest list to come to my wedding.

    I wasn't invited to a good friend's wedding who also had a small intimate wedding, who lives 8 hrs away from me. But I would invite her to my wedding in a heart beat and in fact I had asked her to be in my wedding (that was before hers).

    So, ask your friend to be a bridesmaid, without even thinking of the fact you were or weren't invited to her wedding, if she's that close of a friend to you then just ask her.
    Good luck!



    (backstory, wedding got called off)

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