Wedding Etiquette Forum

Show me pics/tell me about your JOP wedding

I'll spare you the details, as I'm sure all of you have been through the stresses, but I am really about to bail on my wedding plans.

I've been asking for JOP since day 1, and no matter which path we chose we know we want it to be just the two of us. It's just that FI really wants to do a getaway also - at least out of state, if not out of the country - but even an elopement/destination wedding is getting too much for me. He doesn't feel like a JOP would commemorate the day, or be a big enough celebration to really mark it, even if it's followed by a nice weekend at the B&B, or even performed at a small location (fireplace/garden/candles/dinner/flowers) nearby. There's something about getting out of the city that he really needs, but it's stressing us both out too much and it's so hard to chose the "pefect" place.

Ooops, I told you I wasn't going to go on and on ;)

So, tell me about your super small elopement please! I'm looking for some solid arguments for staying home and have it still "feel like a wedding". Thanks!
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Re: Show me pics/tell me about your JOP wedding

  • You're from Baltimore? What about heading to VA wine country and having the wedding at a winery, then staying at a B&B afterwards? Not too far away but has a destination feel. There are a ton of wineries/B&B's/good restaurants down this way. I can help with recs if you're interested.
  • strlzfan11strlzfan11 member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited January 2012

    My grandparents had a JOP wedding back in the 40s.  I've never asked my grandfather about it really (grandma died when I was 11), but there are a few pictures of them standing in their coats outside the building (middle of January) holding hands.  You can tell that they wore some of their nicest clothes.  My grandma also had a corsage.  I think there's also a picture of them with the couple who were their witnesses as well.

    ETA: Your wedding will be special no matter what, because you & your FI are joining your lives together.  It doesn't have to be elaborate and expensive.

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_show-picstell-jop-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:24109a87-1b28-4cf8-b238-ca672462c9abPost:360f9cc9-5315-43ff-9495-e3e2ba55245f">Re: Show me pics/tell me about your JOP wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]You're from Baltimore? What about heading to VA wine country and having the wedding at a winery, then staying at a B&B afterwards? Not too far away but has a destination feel. There are a ton of wineries/B&B's/good restaurants down this way. I can help with recs if you're interested.
    Posted by daffodil_jill[/QUOTE]

    Thanks and this option is definately still on our short list. But believe it or not, at our chosen location, it's coming it at only about $800 less than our top choice in the Carribean. (cost is definately a consideration here too) We just keep going in circles with all the options and variations.

    For the other posters - That is exactly what I wanted! Just to be perfectly content with each other. I told him all I need to feel married is vows, a ring on my hand, and to be called his wife. It used to be so simple :)
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  • redheadfsuredheadfsu member
    2500 Comments
    edited January 2012
    We had a JOP wedding in St. Lucia at Sandals, just the two of us. LOVED it- no stress at all. It was basically a vacation where we got married. With the package we got the wedding was completely free (no fees or anything); however it wasn't cheap per se.

    Maybe try the Destination Wedding board for destinations in your budget range?

    ETA: While anything you do will make your wedding special - it is your wedding afterall. For me going somewhere far away (not local) really made it real. As we got all the fun vacation stories to tell, plus a fun day running around the island in a wedding dress.

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  • A coworker of mine is getting married in Joshua Tree National Park, just the two of them.  I think they are just flying to California (or Vegas?) and driving there.  It'll be simple with an officiant and a photographer.  I have no idea about the rest of the details.
  • My parents JOPed in the mid 70s in Vegas. They flew over for a quick weekend. They didn't want a huge to-do that both families would have expected. They are still happily married, 37, almost 38 years later. (And, no, my mother was NOT pregnant when they married.)
  • I was going to suggest Vegas-baby but Mica beat me to it.  It really is not that expensive to go to Vegas for a weekend, especially if your hotel is not one of the big hotels right on the strip (or so I've heard).
  • I just got home from a JOP in NYC.  It was AMAZING!!!!  The couple was the BM from our wedding and his now wife.  Both are super-low-key and this fit their personalities so perfectly that it made it all the more beautiful.

    The couple came into town from Hong Kong and Boston.  They met in NYC, which is why they picked there.  There were about 12-14 of us there to witness it.  The couple are both originally from India and everyone except for me and one other guest were friends from India, but living in the US.  People came from all over the country to be there, but the list of people was still so small that it was just so personal.

    We got to city hall around 10:30.  We spent most of the time there waiting and taking pictures.  The ceremony itself only took about 5 minutes.  After that we did some more pictures and then went off to lunch at a Turkish restaurant.  We took a little break for the afternoon and all met back up again in the evening for a dinner in a private room at an Indian restaurant they liked.  After we got through toasts, there were only 3 of us who hadn't toasted the couple, so the remaining 3 of us all told a story about the couple as well. 

    It was all so beautiful and personal.  I had always wanted to go to a wedding like that and it was just as wonderful as I would have imagined.

    Have fun planning!!
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  • When we were going to the courthouse in Algiers (New Orleans) for our license, there was a couple there for their wedding. She was in a lovely purple dress with gorgeous flowers and he wore a grey suit. They had 2 witnesses and a photographer with them. They seemed so very happy and the location was so beautiful, I began to wish we had done the same. Not a first-hand experience, but I thought it was beautiful.
  • I think it's really nice when people get dressed up, take pics, etc. My first was JOP. I admit I was pregnant....
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