Copying wedding dress? Dress WAR!

mickifyn

My sister was married Nov. 2009.  She wore a Melissa Sweet (Lea) fit and flare wedding gown, which was absolutely gorgeous.  PROBLEM:  My future daughter-in-law has chosen a gown very similar, which my sister calls it  a knock-off of hers, and insists my FDIL chooses another dress.  Only about a dozen people that attended my sister's wedding will be at my son's wedding so I don't understand why she is so angry.  She said my son and FDIL should consider her feelings.  She also said she might not attend the wedding if she wears the dress she has her heart set on.  Any advice?

temerityjane

Your sister sounds like a nutter. Remind her that her wedding is over and done with, and that your future daughter in law is just as entitled to have exactly what she wants for her wedding day as your sister was for her wedding day. If she wouldn't attend the wedding based on the bride's dress, she needs a wake up call about how self-absorbed she is.

WildRumpus

Tell you sister to suck it up. She got ONE DAY. There are potentially hundreds of other women who wore the exact same dress. If she wanted a one-of-a-kind, no one else has it dress, she should have had it custom made.

PharmacyBride

Was it intentional on the daughter's part?  Did she refuse to try on any dress unless it resembled your sister's?  Or.. did she simply fall in love with something similar?

If it the first case.. that is weird.. but I would think she should be flattered... not upset.

If it is the second.. I would say your sister doesn't own the "look" and really needs to let this one go.  Millions of dresses look similar for one reason or another from hers and she doesn't have dibs on all of them.

Maybe point out that the dress picking wasn't intentionally trying to copy her look.  A new bride just fell in love with a similar dress and she should be happy for her.  If she wants to miss the wedding.. I say her loss.. less drama!

thesuninherhead

My thoughts are that your sister is completely bizarre.

Calumet

If your sister doesn't want to be there (because she has seemingly lost her mind), then she doesn't have to be there. This is the wedding of your son and his FI, and honestly they shouldn't have to base their attire choices on what anyone else wants, no matter self absorbed the concerned party may be [unless of course that "anyone else" happens to be paying for the garment].

PharmacyBride

Also- I want to add that dresses look completely different on different people!  So maybe she is jealous that FDIL will look better in it.

M&R7111

Yep, your sister is nuts and is acting like an entitled brat (an I'm assuming she's too old to be acting like one).

If she's willing to miss her nephew's wedding over this, it's her problem.  She had her wedding, she needs to move on.

marisah83

I'm sure hundreds of women have worn the same dress your sister wore.  Your FDIL should be able to wear whatever dress she wants, so your sister can either deal with it or not come to the wedding. 

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

Call her bluff. "Well, we'll certainly miss you. Especially over something so petty."

Manwaithiel

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_copying-wedding-dress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:242cd657-69b4-4099-b5b4-aacc76374a3bPost:a86aaa85-528a-4c80-a369-a7b27d2682c4">Re: Copying wedding dress?</a>:
[QUOTE]Call her bluff. "Well, we'll certainly miss you. Especially over something so petty."
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

This.

She's being absurd.

"Well then, here's my FDIL's number. Please call her and inform her that you patented that look decades ago and if she so much as puts a cent down on any dress that looks similar to yours you will be calling your attorney and filing a subpoena for her to appear in court on the grounds of intellectual property infringement."

Maybe she'll be so confused she'll stop talking about it.

ootmother2

I confirm that your sister is a total idiot.

heyimbren

I agree with PP.

There are only so many "styles" of dresses. Fit and flare, a-line, ball gown, empire, etc.

Your sister sounds petty. Your FDIL should be able to wear whatever she likes and feels great in.

baystateapple

Your sister doesn't have a trademark or claim on that dress.

Tell her to suck it up, buttercup, or that she certainly will be missed.  And I agree that you should tack on the "over something so petty" line.

loop0406

I've realized that most guests don't care or remember a person's dress, cake, favors, etc unless they're bad ass and stand out like no other. So your sister is acting petty, guests won't care or notice if it looked like her dress or not. Tell her to get over it, she's not the only 1 in the world who bought the dress, wasn't like vera wang came and designed her dress specifically for her and then someone is trying to copy it, maybe they have the same taste and that's why dress was chosen, I doubt your future daughter in law chose the dress intentionally to copy your sister's....

mocha beans

Really?  Your sister would boycott her own neice's wedding on the grounds that her dress is similar to hers, that she wore 2 years ago?  That's really, really petty, and if I were your FDIL, I would honestly not miss her at the wedding.  I can sorta accept behavior like that from a high school girl, but as you are old enough to have a son that's old enough to get married, I would presume your sister is in the same age range.  Unacceptable behavior for a grown adult.

I would tell your FDIL to call her bluff.  If she ditches the wedding for this reason, too bad for her.  FDIL deserves to have a dress that she loves as much as your sister did.  And honestly, there's only so much variation that can go on with wedding dresses.

ARod22

Your sis has got a case of post-wedding Bridezilla syndrome.  Tell her to get help.

Or, just remind her that she must have very good taste, if everyone's apparently wearing the same kind of dress as she did.

coleandalexia2010

Eeek. 

Tell her to explain aloud why she is so upset and see if she feels like a complete psycho.

mickifyn

She is 30 my son will be  24 next month.  I am 44.

JanoBean75

30 is old enough to know better. She's being petty and you need to call her on it.

red1115

Well at least the Bride & Groom will be saving money by not needing to invite the crazy aunt...

sister2groom

I don't want to be mean, but there is no WAY, I would have the energy to consult my future aunt-in-law about dress choices. I mean, it seems as if people expect the bride  to try not to get a dress to look too much like that of her friends or sisters or sisters-in-laws or cousins, I mean, you have to stop somewhere or the bride will run out of styles, and future aunt-in-law is pretty distant.

banana468

I can't imagine consulting with anyone regarding dress choices.  My biggest concern was finding one that I liked.  I wasn't about to say, "Was this too similar to your dress?"