Registry Response

Wheels987

I think we've handled the registry correctly so far. We're in that "ZOMG BUT WE'RE DIFFERENT" group, ie: we have everything we need, live in a small place, no room for anything, etc. Because of that we made a small registry of stuff we can replace and a few new items.

But now we're getting feedback re: our registry and I'm starting to worry. I need help with responding to these people. Just a few lines would be AWESOME. Here are a few examples of what I'm hearing:

"So, are you going to add a honeymoon registry since your registry is small?" Current response to that: "No, I don't think so. We're not immediately going on our honeymoon so I don't want to to look in poor taste"

"Are you adding any other places? It looks small right now"

"How do you expect people to buy you something for a shower AND your wedding?" (We don't)

Help?

Thanks!

bunni727

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registry-response?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:24714580-f7ca-414b-a6ed-f2dbb609a14aPost:ac960a26-0bf8-471a-b72b-af438830753b">Registry Response</a>:
[QUOTE]I think we've handled the registry correctly so far. We're in that "ZOMG BUT WE'RE DIFFERENT" group, ie: we have everything we need, live in a small place, no room for anything, etc. Because of that we made a small registry of stuff we can replace and a few new items. But now we're getting feedback re: our registry and I'm starting to worry. I need help with responding to these people. Just a few lines would be AWESOME. Here are a few examples of what I'm hearing: "So, are you going to add a honeymoon registry since your registry is small?" Current response to that: "No, I don't think so. We're not immediately going on our honeymoon so I don't want to to look in poor taste" "Are you adding any other places? It looks small right now" "How do you expect people to buy you something for a shower AND your wedding?" (We don't) Help? Thanks!
Posted by Wheels987[/QUOTE]

Your current response to Honeymoon registries sound fine, but I'd make it a firmer no so they don't keep asking.

As for the rest, I'd just repeat that it is small because you don't need much.

misshart00

Just start saying you don't need much, and you just want to see them at the wedding. If you're saving for something, house, honeymoon, etc., add that on.

McRogol

How timely for me to read your post - my FMIL was just over and telling me how I need to add items to our registery...And it's not that I don't understand - there are two showers being thrown and the wedding...But like OP we have a lot of what we need already and/or are just replacing items, and we live in a small apartment for now...I told her I felt bad registering for gifts that would essentially sit in our basement unopened until "one day" when we live some place with more kitchen storage....Arg!  

 

Jen4948

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registry-response?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:24714580-f7ca-414b-a6ed-f2dbb609a14aPost:ac960a26-0bf8-471a-b72b-af438830753b">Registry Response</a>:
[QUOTE]I think we've handled the registry correctly so far. We're in that "ZOMG BUT WE'RE DIFFERENT" group, ie: we have everything we need, live in a small place, no room for anything, etc. Because of that we made a small registry of stuff we can replace and a few new items. But now we're getting feedback re: our registry and I'm starting to worry. I need help with responding to these people. Just a few lines would be AWESOME. Here are a few examples of what I'm hearing: "So, are you going to add a honeymoon registry since your registry is small?" Current response to that: "No, I don't think so. We're not immediately going on our honeymoon so I don't want to to look in poor taste"
<strong>"No, we're not doing a honeymoon registry."  The reason why is not their business, and telling them why comes off as defensive.  </strong>

"Are you adding any other places? It looks small right now" <strong>"No, this is it.  If we change our minds, we'll let you know."</strong>

"How do you expect people to buy you something for a shower AND your wedding?" <strong>"We don't expect gifts at all.  It's very generous of people to give us anything and we're very grateful if they choose to do so."</strong>

(We don't) Help? Thanks!
Posted by Wheels987[/QUOTE]

Wheels987

Thanks for the advice--much appreciated!

We have quite a few friends in our circle that did a honeymoon registry, which is why others in our group are asking. I'll definitely keep your response suggestions close to mind when I get any questions.

McRogol: We went through the same thing over the holidays with both sides of our families. FMIL told me how the ladies in her circle wanted to throw a bridal shower, but I responded with how we really couldn't justify asking for items that would sit unused. Instead, I suggested getting together for lunch so we could all meet before the wedding (her friends & extended family). Maybe something like that could work for your FMIL?

Spunky414

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registry-response?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:24714580-f7ca-414b-a6ed-f2dbb609a14aPost:ac960a26-0bf8-471a-b72b-af438830753b">Registry Response</a>:
[QUOTE]I think we've handled the registry correctly so far. We're in that "ZOMG BUT WE'RE DIFFERENT" group, ie: we have everything we need, live in a small place, no room for anything, etc. Because of that we made a small registry of stuff we can replace and a few new items. But now we're getting feedback re: our registry and I'm starting to worry. I need help with responding to these people. Just a few lines would be AWESOME. Here are a few examples of what I'm hearing: <div>
</div><div>"So, are you going to add a honeymoon registry since your registry is small?" Current response to that: "No, I don't think so. We're not immediately going on our honeymoon so I don't want to to look in poor taste" </div><div><strong>"No, honeymoon registries take a cut of the gift and don't actually purchase the activity." <em>It's a bit more polite and I don't think most people know how honeymoon registries work, if they did they wouldn't be so into them.</em></strong>
<div>
</div><div>"Are you adding any other places? It looks small right now"</div><div><strong>No, we don't need much and are saving for X.</strong></div><div><strong> </strong></div><div> "How do you expect people to buy you something for a shower AND your wedding?" </div><div><strong>No one is required to give us a gift, we don't need more things.</strong></div><div>(We don't) Help? Thanks!
Posted by Wheels987[/QUOTE]

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OliveOilsMom

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registry-response?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:24714580-f7ca-414b-a6ed-f2dbb609a14aPost:6ef0f8c2-0062-4010-a91f-8b3897da1097">Re: Registry Response</a>:
[QUOTE]How timely for me to read your post - my FMIL was just over and telling me how I need to add items to our registery...And it's not that I don't understand - there are two showers being thrown and the wedding...But like OP we have a lot of what we need already and/or are just replacing items, and we live in a small apartment for now...I told her I felt bad registering for gifts that would essentially sit in our basement unopened until "one day" when we live some place with more kitchen storage....Arg!    
Posted by McRogol[/QUOTE]

You should try to have enough gifts on the registries to at least accomodate your showers.  My SIL had 2 small registries and a larger sized shower.  She received mulitple sets of things on her registry at the shower and some stuff I know she didn't need because some people also bought off the registry, probably because everything was already gone by the time they got to purchasing their gift.  If you cannot fill out your registries more, I would make sure that both showers offered are on the smaller side because of this.

Kate61487

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registry-response?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:24714580-f7ca-414b-a6ed-f2dbb609a14aPost:6ef0f8c2-0062-4010-a91f-8b3897da1097">Re: Registry Response</a>:
[QUOTE]How timely for me to read your post - my FMIL was just over and telling me how I need to add items to our registery...And it's not that I don't understand - there are two showers being thrown and the wedding...But like OP we have a lot of what we need already and/or are just replacing items, and we live in a small apartment for now...I told her I felt bad registering for gifts that would essentially sit in our basement unopened until "one day" when we live some place with more kitchen storage....Arg!    
Posted by McRogol[/QUOTE]

If there are two showers you should really make sure there are enough items for both, or decline the showers / keep the lists small.  The point of a shower is to give the bride gifts so you may end up with a LOT of off-registry things (that will likewise just sit in your basement except 'one day' may never come, haha).

Luggage is, IMO, a great addition to a registry if you don't already have a good set.  it can be a little pricey, but several guests may go together or give you a gift certificate to help you towards that.  I wouldn't give a gift card if the registry was empty (b/c why would the couple need money to the store if they already got everything they wanted?) but I wouldn't hesitate to give a GC with a "towards your new luggage!"  note.

jemmini6

H and I had a very small registry as well, less than 30 items total, so I declined the shower I was offered (I'm also not a big fan of showers anyways, so that was a plus) as I felt it would be inappropriate to have a shower with nothing for them to buy.

If you don't want to add more items to your registry, I recommend declining the showers you've been offered, since it puts the people attending in a tough position of trying to find something to buy for you.  Showers are tangible gift giving events, so cash isn't entirely appropriate and you'll end up with a lot of stuff you don't want or need as people scramble for ideas since you haven't given them anything to go from.

positivek

I'm really big on communication, for the sake of more clarity, less guesswork, better understanding.
That being said, I think it's perfectly fine to say you don't expect gifts at the showers. Yes, you might end up getting things off registry anyway, but I don't think that's a huge price to pay in exchange for someone really wanting to throw a shower getting to do that. You decline, someone could get unnecessarily hurt that really wanted to throw/attend it.

McRogol

LUGGAGE!  What a great idea!  

1mobags

I have a similar problem with the registry. We registered for around 70 items I am having a small shower and all I hear is I need to add more to the registry. When I look at it...... Only 6 things have been bought so I really don't feel like adding more. If people don't like what's on it (I've heard the items are to inexpensive) then don't buy me anything.... Geesh. FYI..... I despise the registry and shower but was forced into both.

STARMOON44

This sounds like a great opportunity for a themed shower.  Lingerie, bring a favorite recipe on a car, bring the one item you needed most your first year of marriage that you never thought of, etc.

And if people ask about a honeymoon registry, I think just stick with, no, we're not doing one, we haven't settled on a honeymoon yet.  Explaining why you don't like them is likely to ruffle a few feathers in ways you didn't intend.