Wedding Etiquette Forum

Dad in wheelchair

My dad recently had knee surgery and will likely have to be in a wheelchair for the wedding.  Does anyone have any ideas for what I can do instead of a father/daughter dance that still involves the song I had picked out? Or other suggestions?

Re: Dad in wheelchair

  • Push him around the floor?  Get a chair and roll around with him?
  • I think he would feel embarrassed if I did something like that.  He is actually an amputee and just had surgery on his good leg, so there are existing issues for him about appearing crippled to other people.
  • Maybe just ask the band leader or DJ to dedicate the song you were planning to play to your dad and take that time to be sure to sit with him? I'm not really sure what else you could do that wouldn't cause a lot of attention to be focused on him, and it sounds like he wouldn't like that.
  • I would discuss this with your FI and his mom and just skip the parent dances. Have the song you picked out played at some point so that your dad knows you're thinking about him, and have your FI and his mom's song played later as well, and they can just dance to it while everyone else is dancing.
  • edited August 2010

    I respectfully disagree with a previous poster; as a wheelchair-user myself, I think it might look awkward to push Dad around the dance floor or get into your own wheelchair.

    Instead, I suggest having the DJ make an announcement inviting everyone to "...take the floor for the first song - a song that holds special meaning for damaless and her father".  That way there's no awkwardness, the song is played, and everyone gets the idea.

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dad-wheelchair?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:24813632-ba43-4d8d-b635-1b1ba7b691cdPost:5c8f8572-a430-44c3-9850-a1830f334c44">Re: Dad in wheelchair</a>:
    [QUOTE]I respectfully disagree with a previous poster; as a wheelchair-user myself, I think it might look awkward to push Dad around the dance floor or get into your own wheelchair. Instead, I suggest having the DJ make an announcement inviting everyone to "...take the floor for the first song - a song that holds special meaning for  damaless and her father".  That way there's no awkwardness, the song is played, and everyone gets the idea.
    Posted by Kreskin79[/QUOTE]

    Thanks Kreskin, I'll bring up this idea with him. 
  • edited August 2010
    You're welcome!  I just approached it as if I were in your dad's position - I know I would feel very much the cripple with most other options.
  • Don't do a dance at all.  That's just going to exacerbate the awkwardness of an already uncomfortable situation.  At some point in the night, have the DJ dedicate a song to your dad by saying "This one goes out to the father of the bride."  Make sure everyone knows it's been dedicated by playing the song at a notable point in the evening, perhaps right before dinner.
    Scrabble high score: 531
  • Is there an activity that you and your dad always do together?  I remember hearing one bride who played a game of HORSE with her dad instead because that's something they always did together growing up so it held more meaning.

    Do you play cards?  Thumb wrestle?  Anything that you could do at the reception?
  • have you asked your dad what he thinks he might like?
    image

    Glenna Harding Photography
  • I would skip the dance and don't do anything.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dad-wheelchair?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:24813632-ba43-4d8d-b635-1b1ba7b691cdPost:bf4d1b9e-6f67-4084-b4d5-9867df58f5e3">Re: Dad in wheelchair</a>:
    [QUOTE]have you asked your dad what he thinks he might like?
    Posted by pooh8402[/QUOTE]

    I think he is hoping that he will have recovered enough to do a dance, so a conversation assuming he won't be might be uncomfortable.  I'll wait until closer to the date to see how he's feeling.
  • My Father is also in a wheelchair and has been for some time. What we are doing is skipping the parents dances all-together, and just dedicating a song to each set of parents later in the night that holds special meaning. I think that is the best way not to bring attention to the fact that he can't dance with you.
    Photobucket
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards