Wedding Etiquette Forum

To invite or not to invite?

Hello!  New here, and I have a dilemma about wedding guests.

My FI and I are drawing up a guest list for our wedding.  We're paying for everything on our own and have a pretty limited budget.  We can't afford a whole ton of people, so we're trying to keep the guest list as small as it can be while still keeping a minimum for the caterer (which is around 100).  We're well over 100 at this point, which we are okay with, but a few nights ago his mom gave us a list of even more relatives she wanted us to invite.

On the list included the six young children of my FI's cousin (none of which either knew any of the names of), as well as several other second cousins, distant family friends that neither my FI or I have even heard of, and a a handful more people that had us scratching our heads.

Now, we are by no means skirting on inviting his relatives.  He has a huge family to begin with (our friends and my family combined are less than his family), and everyone close - his aunts, uncles, cousins - are being invited.

He's Chinese and was told by his aunt that not inviting 'everyone' would make us look bad.  I can only assume 'everyone' includes people that even his mother doesn't know the names of.  However, we just can't afford THAT MANY more people.  We simply can't cover their heads.  His aunt insists that if we invite these people, they'll give us a good gift (which doesn't really matter to me either way, that's not why we invite people in the first place), and if we can afford it, invite them.

Nothing is getting through to either my FI's mom or his aunt that we just CAN'T afford them.  It's nothing against them, we just don't have the money to shell out for them.

I'm honestly stuck at this point.  I'm torn between what we can afford and offending his whole family.
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards