Wedding Etiquette Forum

Secret wedding

2

Re: Secret wedding

  • Hahaha. Sorry, I was just busy, that's why I didnt give more details.  The reason is because the mother doesn't want her daughter to get married and she could probably have a histerycs attack when she get to know that her daughter is engaged.
  • Why doesn't the mother approve? Are you talking about yourself?
  • I hope English is not your first language.  I did not understand that last post at. all.
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  • And you think mom won't be upset to find out that her daughter is married?

    Really.  How old is the daughter?  15?  Chica needs to grow a backbone.  Get engaged, get married, whatever.  But do so knowing that you're an adult and be held accountable for your actions.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_secret-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2772c05f-b57b-44f7-91f7-335d5dc893ecPost:8c918fa3-f1a1-44ad-8323-ac1f7bd268ee">Re: Secret wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hahaha. Sorry, I was just busy, that's why I didnt give more details.  The reason is because the mother doesn't want her daughter to get married and she could probably have a histerycs attack when she get to know that her daughter is engaged.
    Posted by Hylmarey[/QUOTE]


    If the mother doesn;t approve of the engagement, can you imagine how she'll react to a secret wedding? This just seems like a really bad idea.
  • If she'd go into hysterics on finding out her daughter is engaged, then finding out her daughter had been secretly married would probably kill her.
  • duckie1905duckie1905 member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited November 2009
    Do people often meet their spouses 24 hours before marrying just because they are in Vegas?

    Also, are you referring to yourself in the 3rd person?
  • Assuming that the daughter is otherwise ready to be married, I think it would be very unkind to decide for the mother that she doesn't get to know her own daughter is getting married.  It would be much more mature and polite to just tell mom that daughter is engaged, and let the chips fall where they may.

    Even if she thinks daughter isn't ready, the daughter showing that she can be mature enough to stand up to mom's potential shitstorm might eventually change mom's opinion.  I think it's pretty unfair to assume you know what mom's reaction is going to be, and not even give her a chance to be appropriate or get used to the idea.  Get what I'm saying?
  • As a mother, I would cry for a long time before my fatal heart attack.

    You want to be responsible for that?



    How old are you?

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_secret-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2772c05f-b57b-44f7-91f7-335d5dc893ecPost:e48509a5-396c-4026-812a-8b0f22bf4899">Re: Secret wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Secret wedding : Because, clearly, everyone who gets married in Vegas just met. 
    Posted by sucrets4[/QUOTE]

    I've been meaning to tell you guys that I don't actually have an FI...<em>yet.  </em>I'm planning the wedding, got my dress, made up a guest list, sent STD's....and I'm going to pick out an FI the day I get to Vegas!! Viola--Vegas wedding!!
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_secret-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2772c05f-b57b-44f7-91f7-335d5dc893ecPost:3f898639-8a76-451d-96ff-7a83ea741e1d">Re: Secret wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]As a mother, I would cry for a long time before my fatal heart attack. You want to be responsible for that? How old are you?
    Posted by ootmother2[/QUOTE]

    oot ftw!!!
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_secret-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2772c05f-b57b-44f7-91f7-335d5dc893ecPost:72ac64f8-bbee-48f0-8e18-bd0e5e5c7fa1">Re: Secret wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Secret wedding : I've been meaning to tell you guys that I don't actually have an FI... yet.  I'm planning the wedding, got my dress, made up a guest list, sent STD's....and I'm going to pick out an FI the day I get to Vegas!! Viola--Vegas wedding!!
    Posted by RachNRich[/QUOTE]

    rach - zomg, that way you get the wedding of your dreamz AND the thrill of marrying a stranger!!  Amazing!!!!!!!
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  • Me too, Rach!  I was kind of embarassed to admit it, but... I just know I want to get married and soon.  What better place to find a drunk, rich man to marry me on a whim than Las Vegas?
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  • I'm miles ahead of you ladies. I even have a stunt groom like in the boost mobile commercial.
  • Sucrets---it's like the funnest day ever!! Who else gets to do what I do, getting married in vegas and all with a planned wedding two years in the making....and a complete stranger!?!

    kiki--- I knew it!! We can be twins now!! hurray!
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  • First of all, I'm NOT going to do that, I wouldn't have the guts to do it, I just asked cause I read about it in an old etiquette book.   No, English is not my first language. My mom just doesn't like my boyfriend, she says I should marry somebody from my "environment" (i.e. social class or something like that).  How did you guess? I'm going to marry in 2011, but I really want to wait.  I don't have the ring yet, but I will sure tell my parents when I get it.
  • edited November 2009
    That sounds like a really good idea.  I'm sure that your mother won't continue to be an irrational crazy person if you have secret wedding.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_secret-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2772c05f-b57b-44f7-91f7-335d5dc893ecPost:47c2a63e-b740-4d1a-9d0f-5425b1322a5c">Re: Secret wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]First of all, I'm NOT going to do that, I wouldn't have the guts to do it, I just asked cause I read about it in an old etiquette book.   No, English is not my first language. My mom just doesn't like my boyfriend, she says I should marry somebody from my "environment" (i.e. social class or something like that).  How did you guess? I'm going to marry in 2011, but I really want to wait.  I don't have the ring yet, but I will sure tell my parents when I get it.
    Posted by Hylmarey[/QUOTE]

    Oh my.  Hyl, this just went from bad to worse.  Now, I disagree with your mother on who you are going to marry, but, before you start worrying about all these situations- actually get engaged first. 

    And, tell your mom to stuff it and realize what century she's living in.
  • Lol.  Yes, my best friend gets angry with my mom all the time for that.  I'm actually engaged, just that I don't have the ring, so, we are engaged, but not a public official engagement.  I think I'm the woman that have been proposed the most times, my boyfriend have asked me be his wife many times, he bought me a ring, but I didn't accept it cause I want to solve this with my mom, first, so we decided to get "publicly engaged" about 6 months or less before the wedding.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_secret-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2772c05f-b57b-44f7-91f7-335d5dc893ecPost:72d78d11-84b7-4134-8fea-3fcde336ebc9">Re: Secret wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]Lol.  Yes, my best friend gets angry with my mom all the time for that.  I'm actually engaged, just that I don't have the ring, so, we are engaged, but not a public official engagement.  I think I'm the woman that have been proposed the most times, my boyfriend have asked me be his wife many times, he bought me a ring, but I didn't accept it cause I want to solve this with my mom, first, so we decided to get "publicly engaged" about 6 months or less before the wedding.
    Posted by Hylmarey[/QUOTE]

    <div><span style="color:#000000;font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:16px;line-height:normal;" class="Apple-style-span"><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:100%;background-color:initial;border-style:initial;border-color:initial;outline-width:0px;outline-style:initial;outline-color:initial;vertical-align:baseline;background-image:none;background-repeat:initial;background-attachment:initial;-webkit-background-clip:initial;-webkit-background-origin:initial;line-height:1;text-align:left;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;">You sound just as manipulative and horrid as your mother.</div></span></div>
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  • Woman, you are a hot mess.
  • You still haven't answered my question.

    How old are you?
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_secret-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2772c05f-b57b-44f7-91f7-335d5dc893ecPost:91fe2865-3cdf-4451-9434-e9e0964598e5">Re: Secret wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Secret wedding : You sound just as manipulative and horrid as your mother.
    Posted by Night_Sprite[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>All times he had asked me, I have accepted, he just likes to hear me saying yes.  Everything we decide is in common agreement. I didn't accept the ring for the same reason I would never marry secretly. Hey, that hurted.

    </div>
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_secret-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2772c05f-b57b-44f7-91f7-335d5dc893ecPost:a0e2087d-0751-4bdf-9b46-55fb21f33008">Re: Secret wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]You still haven't answered my question. How old are you?
    Posted by ootmother2[/QUOTE]

    <div>Actually, it should be "girl, you are a hot mess" because I'm pretty sure she's 13</div>
  • I'm 21, I will be 23 at my wedding. In my country at 25 you are getting old to get married.
  • I guess I do not see the point in putting off the enviable?

    She might be mad or upset, but she will get over it. 






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • Truthfully, you are probably just making the fallout worse when she eventually finds out that you're already engaged.  Time to grow up and be a big girl.  If you are in love with him and you are getting married have the cajones to tell your mommy.
  • Of course I will tell her, but when I introduced him to my family she had a really bad and embarassing reaction, I just want her to be ready for the news.
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