Mystery Bridesmaid Dress...

trick111

I'm a bridesmaid in my friends wedding, which is the second weekend in September 2012.  It's already mid-June and she STILL has not chosen a bridesmaid dress (we all live in different areas so she is picking a dress and we will all purchase it at a store near us, no group shopping opportunity).  At this point, I'm nervous that the dress she does pick won't arrive in time, or that I'll have to pay extra to rush shipping and alterations.  Is she way late on picking a bridesmaids dress considering her wedding is less than 3 months away? 

I've non-chalantly asked about dresses but she always says she's still picking.  I've never come right out and voiced my concerns about the price and that it's getting down to the wire - is this crossing the line, or am I within my boundaries to say something?

Summer2011Bride

It depends where she's ordering from. For my MOH's wedding, it took about 2-3 months to get our dresses in and then we still had to do alterations. When we ordered BM dresses from DB for my wedding, they came in within three weeks. I do think she needs to choose soon if she'll be ordering from a line/company that takes awhile to come in. if she goes with DB, she'd probably be fine.

I might just mention next time, "One of my friends said it took over 3 months for her Bm dresses to come in! Do you think we'll have enough time to get them altered?" Ultimately though, it's on her to decide which line to go with and since you can't order the dresses for her, there's not much else to do.

amorg334

When my Dad and Stepmom got married in 2009 they did there wedding planning in under 3 months and we had to buy dresses almost right away.  When we bought our dresses in june we had to get them rushed delivered for the august wedding.  You might need to pay a rush fee but they are normally not astronomical.  I also got to miss out on the group bonding because they decided to get and pick dresses when I was in alaska so when I came home I had to go on my own.  I was also fearful but the dress was beautiful.  You just need to have confidence and it is not really rude to say something and ask about the progress of the dresses.  You can say to her that if she has her dress you really need yours because you need to make sure you are able to do your best and look great for her on her special day

kgrawedding

I completely understand.  I am a bridesmaid in my friends wedding the week before my wedding...and haven't heard anything about what the dresses will be for her wedding.  Mine were ordered about a month ago (11/3 wedding).  I guess if I don't hear anything from her in the next month my plan will be to casually mention "Oh, I picked up the bridesmaids dresses today, by the way, when will we be ordering the dresses for your wedding?"

aurianna

In the meantime, do you have a regular tailor? If so, I'd call him/her or others around town and see if they can give you a general idea on how long, on average, BM dresses they've done take and if they have any special rush fees, etc.

Have a tailor lined up for you to take the dress to the day you get it in your hands.

egm900

My wedding is the first week in September, dresses were ordered the last week of November, the first of the four came in in January and the last came in late April, it really depends on the designer and dress style.

aurianna

Just checked my emails:
For the wedding I was in this spring: Ordered dresses Sept 2, 2011 and they arrived in Jan 11, 2012.
If I recall I cut it really close on the tailor because I'm an awful person. In less than two weeks she was able to shorten the straps, take out the zipper, take the dress in two sizes (long story), put the zipper back in and repleat the skirt.

EDIT: So another tip, when you finally get to order the dress, if the gal at the shop tells you to order a size that you think seems way, way, way too big, and it just happens to also suddenly make the dress $30 more expensive, suck in and ask her to measure again.

QueerFemme

We ordered from davids in march for my september wedding. One arrived in may, we are still waiting for the other. Yeah .... she is very late.

aurianna

Any idea of what kind of dress she's thinking of? I might be suggesting advice that's stepping on etiquette toes, but here goes.

Send her a text or email that's something like, "Hey Bride, I'm going to Nordstrom this week for shoes. Any idea on what kind of BM dresses you were thinking of? I could keep my eyes peeled and if I find anything you like, we could all order it from Nordstrom and have it in a week!"

If you can find any way of steering her more towards department store dresses or Flash Sale websites (Gilt, Rue La La, etc), you're going to have a better shot at having the dress in time to alter. The downside is you'll have to order the dress on blind faith that your size fits, but returning things to those places isn't too painful. Also it might be harder to get sizes outside the 2-14 realm, but honestly at 3 months out, it would be hard to get those sizes special ordered from anywhere in time.

aragx6

My wedding is the same weekend as your friend's and the dresses were ordered in March and just arrived in the last week. My girls have oodles of time for alterations, but if they were just ordering now there's no way they'd have them in time.

pkontk

I would also politely ask if there would be a rush fee and how much it would be - I don't think her dragging her feet in deciding means you all should have to pay the fee - she should take the rush fee into consideration when choosing, and be sure that the dress cost plus rush fee does not go over the budget.

audubonbride2013

She could be planning to have you get dresses off the rack at a department store in which case you'll have time for alterations. 

I know for the last wedding I was in we ordered the dresses at the beginning of January for a mid-May wedding.  The shop we ordered from said we were cutting it close because they suggest ordering bridesmaid dresses 6 months in advance, but we got our dress by the beginning of April without any rush fees.  The alterations only took a couple of weeks, so we had the dresses in our hands about a couple of weeks  in advance. 

For my wedding I plan on getting bridesmaid dresses off the rack 2 months in advance, because I want my bridesmaids to get a great price on the dresses.  We're going to do Lilly Pulitzer bridesmaid dresses and they have a warehouse sale every November and June by my hometown.  We will likely look at the November sale, but it is usually all fall clothes.  We probably won't purchase the dresses until the June sale when they have the summer sundresses and our wedding is in August.  These dresses typically require minimal or no alterations, so two months with the dresses should be plenty of time for any alterations my bridesmaids may want.

smartlypretty

Yeah, I'd say you missed the boat for David's bridal and most bridal shops (unless you pay the rush fee). Sometimes DB dresses come in really soon (like 2 weeks), but I had a few that took the full 12 weeks. I'd try Macys or Nordstroms.