Wedding Etiquette Forum

Parent Seating for Ceremony

I need some advice on how to seat my FH's parents during the ceremony or how to tell his mom what we are doing without offending her.  FH's parents are divorced (his dad has remarried) but can act civil towards one another so we were going to have them sit in the first pew at the church for the ceremony.  Our original plan was to have his Dad walk his stepmom down the aisle during the processional, followed by his sister and then his mom would get escorted down the aisle last for his side.  Both the FH and I liked this idea and thought it would be the perfect solution. 

The dilemma is that the other day his mom called to tell him that she wants his sister to sit in the second row and then to let her boyfriend sit in the first row with her.  Our issue with that is that we aren't that close to her boyfriend and would rather have his sister in the first pew.  The other thing is then his mom either would not be seated by her boyfriend (because we would make him be seated before the processional start...he has no reason to get to walk down the aisle during that part of the ceremony in our opinion) or he would have to stand up and get out of the aisle when his stepmom and dad got to the pew to let them in so the boyfriend could sit by his mom (and we think that will just be distracting).  Our original plan was to let him sit in the second pew, so right behind FH's mom.  Does this sound ridiculous or are we okay in saying no to his mom and telling her the boyfriend can sit in the second pew? 

Ideas/thoughts?

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Re: Parent Seating for Ceremony

  • pgcppgcp member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    Do you intend on splitting up other couples?  No?  Why?  Because it is rude?  I thought so.

    Let her walk in and sit with her boyfriend.  It's simply not a big deal, don't turn it into one.
  • So his dad get's to sit with his new wife but his mom can't sit with her boyfriend?  How is that fair?
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_parent-seating-for-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:28068979-b57c-4603-a250-fd5860c4156aPost:54be3b72-e715-4d18-bbc3-fddeaa7cc4ae">Parent Seating for Ceremony</a>:
    [QUOTE]I need some advice on how to seat my FH's parents during the ceremony or how to tell his mom what we are doing without offending her.  FH's parents are divorced (his dad has remarried) but can act civil towards one another so we were going to have them sit in the first pew at the church for the ceremony.  Our original plan was to have his Dad walk his stepmom down the aisle during the processional, followed by his sister and then his mom would get escorted down the aisle last for his side.  Both the FH and I liked this idea and thought it would be the perfect solution.  The dilemma is that the other day his mom called to tell him that she wants his sister to sit in the second row and then to let her boyfriend sit in the first row with her.  Our issue with that is that we aren't that close to her boyfriend and would rather have his sister in the first pew.  The other thing is then his mom either would not be seated by her boyfriend (because we would make him be seated before the processional start...he has no reason to get to walk down the aisle during that part of the ceremony in our opinion) or he would have to stand up and get out of the aisle when his stepmom and dad got to the pew to let them in so the boyfriend could sit by his mom (and we think that will just be distracting).  Our original plan was to let him sit in the second pew, so right behind FH's mom.  <strong>Does this sound ridiculous</strong> or are we okay in saying no to his mom and telling her the boyfriend can sit in the second pew?  Ideas/thoughts?
    Posted by aneubaue[/QUOTE]

    <div>Yes. There is no reason at all for your FMIL to not sit with her BF and be escorted by him, regardless of how much you like him.</div>
  • I answered you on CI. Ditto PPs. 
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  • You guys are over analyzing here.  You will be just as married and your FI's sister will enjoy the wedding just as much sitting in the second row.  You guys need to just let this one go because it truly is NBD.
  • FWIW, my wedding coordinator suggested the "traditional" processional/escorting, where the women get escorted by an usher(groomsman) and their SO follows behind. So, we have one usher escorting FI's step-mom with FI's dad walking behind (so those 2 will be seated first) and then another usher escorting FI's mother with FI's step-dad walking behind (so those 2 will be seated next, with FMIL on the aisle).

    If you only have four seats in the front row, they should be for the two parents and their two SO's. If you can have more, why not include his sister as well (plus date, if applicable)?
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_parent-seating-for-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:28068979-b57c-4603-a250-fd5860c4156aPost:7ef741ba-79e1-42a2-b34e-3c4e23a10cf7">Re: Parent Seating for Ceremony</a>:
    [QUOTE]You guys are over analyzing here.  You will be just as married and your FI's sister will enjoy the wedding just as much sitting in the second row.  You guys need to just let this one go because it truly is NBD.
    Posted by kmmssg[/QUOTE]

    Ditto this.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_parent-seating-for-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:28068979-b57c-4603-a250-fd5860c4156aPost:e0cc49a0-71ab-4832-a8be-daaecbb8e3f6">Re: Parent Seating for Ceremony</a>:
    [QUOTE]Is there really not room for five people in the front row?
    Posted by rachers1017[/QUOTE]

    This is what I was thinking.

    Let FMIL's BF escort her down the aisle and sit next to her. FSIL can sit between her mom and dad.
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  • I'm in the same situation. 

    My dad is remarried, my mom has a boyfriend. My brother is in the wedding party, so I'm going to have him escort his girlfriend in, and seat her in the middle of the front row. He'll then walk mom down the isle w/ her bf following behind and seat them on the far end of the front row. My dad will escort his wife in, sit her in the front row, and return to come walk me down the isle where he'll then join his wife.

    Having my brother's GF sit in between them seemed like the perfect solution. FI's parents are divorced and his mom remarried. We plan to seat his parents and his sister's BF (she's in the wedding party) in the front row on his side.
  • edited March 2012
    maybe strike a compromise, the FMIL's boyfriend can be seated in the front row before the processional begins (dad and step mom just bypass him to take their seats, i don't think it'll be distracting because guest's eyes will already be on the rest of the processional). I can understand not including the FMIL's boyfriend in the processional especially if your FI doesn't consider him family. My FI and I have an almost similar situation, but with his grandfather being remarried, FI does not want his grandfather's new wife to be recognized as a "grandmother" in the processional, because quite honestly my FI thinks it's disrespectful to his late grandmother's memory and this woman is not his family (we're fortunate that the rest of my FI's family feels the same way). If you and your FI are dead set against the boyfriend participating in the processional just have the FI tell his mom he'd be upset with the boyfriend being portrayed as his family.    
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