NWR: Bad Etiquette?

nra2183

I just received an e-mail from a friend of mine that I believe breaks a few etiquette rules.  First, I invited her to a show with another female friend and her daughter.  I only get 4 free tickets and thought I had already mentioned the other two people who would be going.  In the e-mail, my friend told me that she told her BF about it and that he's really excited.  I didn't invite him.  I invited you.  And two other females that I already told you about.  You can't just invite people without asking.  Ok, maybe I didn't make it clear so I'll take the hit on that one.

But then she started talking about plans we had made to go to a comedy show.  She invited me and FI and then her and her BF.  They had 4 free tickets.  In exchange, me and FI would pay for apps.  Fair deal.  We discussed it a few times and even picked a date.  Now she's telling me that she's invited another couple and that she would give them one free ticket and us one free ticket so we're each only paying half.  I'm sorry, but you already promised those tickets to us.  It might only be half the cost, but that's still an extra $30 I wasn't planning on spending.

I just felt like venting.  I feel much better now.  I'll deal with it tomorrow.

specialk84

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-bad-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2930b370-e98f-45aa-b78a-659ff1975ee6Post:8633b650-bb18-474c-802b-91d4b0f4b21f">NWR: Bad Etiquette?</a>:
[QUOTE]I just received an e-mail from a friend of mine that I believe breaks a few etiquette rules.  First, I invited her to a show with another female friend and her daughter.  I only get 4 free tickets and thought I had already mentioned the other two people who would be going.  In the e-mail, my friend told me that she told her BF about it and that he's really excited.  I didn't invite him.  I invited you.  And two other females that I already told you about.  You can't just invite people without asking.  Ok, maybe I didn't make it clear so I'll take the hit on that one. But then she started talking about plans we had made to go to a comedy show.  She invited me and FI and then her and her BF.  They had 4 free tickets.  In exchange, me and FI would pay for apps.  Fair deal.  We discussed it a few times and even picked a date.  Now she's telling me that she's invited another couple and that she would give them one free ticket and us one free ticket so we're each only paying half.  I'm sorry, but you already promised those tickets to us.  It might only be half the cost, but that's still an extra $30 I wasn't planning on spending. I just felt like venting.  I feel much better now.  I'll deal with it tomorrow.
Posted by nra2183[/QUOTE]

<div>Did you tell her this?</div>

kcscejal

Um, ok? Maybe you should talk to your friend instead of the internet?

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-bad-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2930b370-e98f-45aa-b78a-659ff1975ee6Post:d9e741c2-e2a1-4ca2-9483-c95823f70f0d">Re: NWR: Bad Etiquette?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to NWR: Bad Etiquette? : It's not bad etiquette.  It sounds like bad communication by everyone involved with a little bit of rudeness on the parts of some people mixed in.
Posted by ILoveMilkDuds[/QUOTE]

I definitely think asking someone to go to a show with you where you provide the tickets and they saying, "actually, now it will be $30" is bad etiquette. She should buy the tickets or not invite the other couple. Or tell other couple she can't accomodate them, but they can buy tickets on their own.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

I would tell the friend you are not able to attend the comedy show because it's not in your budget to pay for more than food.

Then I would say that, to be clear, you only get 4 free tickets and you were considering it more of a girl's night thing, but if her BF wants to come, that's fine, you just can't provide his ticket.

mattsdorothy

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-bad-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2930b370-e98f-45aa-b78a-659ff1975ee6Post:a4e82fdc-d220-43c6-8e50-1b26d6650aa4">Re: NWR: Bad Etiquette?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: NWR: Bad Etiquette? : I definitely think asking someone to go to a show with you where you provide the tickets and they saying, "actually, now it will be $30" is bad etiquette. She should buy the tickets or not invite the other couple. Or tell other couple she can't accomodate them, but they can buy tickets on their own.
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

I agree with this. We had friends rent a condo for an extended weekend near where we live. Friends invited us to come for dinner and stay with them one night (long after they booked the condo) We accepted, but then a few weeks later, after we had already committed, they told us what our share of the cost for that night would be... wha? If we knew we were going to have to pay, we would have left after dinner and stayed at our own home... thirty minutes away.

sweetheartgirley

I just want to know where you guys keep coming up with free tickets!

Hope it all works out






www.lovebuzzedme.blogspot.com

nra2183

I completely plan on talking to my friend, but I won't see her until tomorrow.  I honeslty apologize for coming of as rude, I just think clearer once I vent.  I take partial responsibility for the first thing because I really may not have been clear.  It's the second thing I have an issue with.  To me it's bad etiquette, but it might not be to others.  I'm just trying to figure out the best way to handle both before I talk to her.  I know $30 isn't a lot, but our budget is stretched pretty thin...

MissKate2011

Tell her "Oh I invited so and so and gave her the extra free ticket to the show so you and your BF have to buy your own tickets now."

Not really but it would probably make her feel like a moron...

I would definitely tell her that it was just a girls night and you only got the 4 tickets and about the comedy show I would say something like "Oh I thought you had free tickets for both FI and I?"

nra2183

My free tickets are my first "perk" from graduate school.  Although, considering the ridiculous cost of tuition I don't know that they're that free..but I'll take whatever I can get. 

jenajjthr

I get free tics to a local comedy club fairly often.  I just had to sign up in their email list.  They do this to fill the house, they make more money off the food and drink than they do ticket prices. 

I would tell the first friend, that sorry it was a girl night and you had already promised the other two tickets to other people.  She can then decline to come if she doesn't want to go without BF. 

For the second couple I would let them know that since you were going to buy the apps since they provided the cost of the tickets, that you will no longer be able to buy apps for them since they are now charging you the price of a ticket.