Not the best father/daughter relationship (part 2)

lindsaynewbride10

Ok, last I asked about this, I was asking how to tell my Dad that he won't be walking me down the aisle, and my grandfather will. I've figured that out.

Now on to part 2- would it make the situation better by having my grandfather walk me down the aisle, but when it comes to the father/daughter dance, dance with my Dad? I'm trying to spread the love, and I do love my Dad because he's my Dad, but not close enough to walk me.... does any of this make sense?

Snippylynn

I'm pretty sure I told you this last time, but if your dad isn't "special" enough to walk you down the aisle, then why would you have a dance with him?  Doesn't make sense to me, but really, no one can answer this question for you.  My father wasn't invited to my wedding, and now he's dying.  In fact, will probably be gone by the end of this week.  I don't regret any of the choices I've made, and I think that's sometimes how you have to think of it.  If your father were gone, would you regret not having any of these things with him?  If the answer is yes, then you know what to do.

Shaye526

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-fatherdaughter-relationship-part-2-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2966b2ef-deb2-41dc-bd97-774639eb6e65Post:9c53b114-ec7e-47ee-9253-e9480a522b63">Re: Not the best father/daughter relationship (part 2)</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm pretty sure I told you this last time, but if your dad isn't "special" enough to walk you down the aisle, then why would you have a dance with him?  Doesn't make sense to me, but really, no one can answer this question for you.  My father wasn't invited to my wedding, and now he's dying.  In fact, will probably be gone by the end of this week.  I don't regret any of the choices I've made, and I think that's sometimes how you have to think of it.  <strong>If your father were gone, would you regret not having any of these things with him?  If the answer is yes, then you know what to do.</strong>
Posted by Snippylynn[/QUOTE]

This.

My father isn't invited to my wedding either and I know that I will not regret it. I also am not even doing the father daughter dance because there really isn't anyone for me to dance with. I'm ok with that. Only you can decide what we'll be the best for you. none of us can make that decision. If you think it's something that you would regret not doing, then go for it.

lindsaynewbride10

I'm not saying that my Dad isn't "special," because trust me, he is. But I don't have the father/daughter relationship with him that fortunately other people DO have. I am closer to my Grandfather and would like to have him walk me, but I thought it would be a nice gesture to dance with my Dad. That's all.

Snippylynn

And I'm saying, there's no hard and fast rule about this.  You have to do what YOU feel is appropriate.  No one can tell you.

lindsaynewbride10

Well we NEED hard and fast rules about this crap because I'm sick of being sick over it! lol You see, I'm the "peace keeper." And it's driving me crazy!

FutureMrsTR

Ditto Snippy that no one can tell you what to do.  I didn't have a close relationship with my dad, but it wasn't antagonistic either.  I am very close with my mom, however, so my solution was to have both of them walk me down the aisle and we skipped parent dances.

MISSCOURTNEY20

So keep the peace and dance with your dad.

redheadfsu

Ditto, this decision is up to you. You could have a father/daughter dance plus a grandfather / granddaughter dance, neither, or only one. What do you think you will regret doing/ not doing?

Snippylynn

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-fatherdaughter-relationship-part-2-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2966b2ef-deb2-41dc-bd97-774639eb6e65Post:1a71fb26-2e8b-4728-9466-aee97082ed72">Re: Not the best father/daughter relationship (part 2)</a>:
[QUOTE]Well we NEED hard and fast rules about this crap because I'm sick of being sick over it! lol You see, I'm the "peace keeper." And it's driving me crazy!
Posted by lindsaynewbride10[/QUOTE]
I just have to say that it's time to just suck it up and make a decision.  You'll feel less sick about it if you do.  Promise.

This may be coming off as harsh, but I'm really just being... firm, I guess you could say. 

TTiger03

Talk with your dad and grandfather and the three of you make that decision together.