friend invited kids in convo and I didn't speak up-- now regretting it

SummsLJ

A childhood friend of mine who've I've barely kept in touch with since high school messaged on facebook to say that her children will be super well behaved at my wedding (one will be a four-month old baby). The way she worded it was funny and I replied with an LOL, but now I"m totally regretting it. I don't want her kids at my wedding. Can I get out of this?

~Leila

Mrs.B6302007

  A "LOL" on FB doesn't obligate you to anything.  On the invite envelope, just be sure to only put the adults names.  If, actually, WHEN she RSVPs with the kids, call her and tell her that you can't accommodate her children.

Mrs.B6302007

I see you're getting married in June. You've already sent invites then? How did you address hers?

SummsLJ

I mailed my invitations yesterday and held on to hers so I could consult the knot.com! When I sent her save the date, I made a point to only put her and her boyfriend's names.

Habs2Hart

Only address it to her and her boyfriend then.

However, she will likely have her 4 month old there as breast feeding babies are the exception to the "no kids" policy. 

Are you allowing others to have children?  Because that is also something to consider.

SummsLJ

the only other children I'm inviting are family and two girls who are close family friends.

firsttimersluck

Our response cards say
"we have reserved ____ seats in your name
Please reply on or before ____
M____________
etc"

so make sure that people get the hint that no kids are allowed.. plus the bridal party helps spread that word. does she happen to know any of your bridal party? then they can casually bring it up in convo...?
if not you can bring up the fact that your cousin blah blah is being a pain and not respecting the no child policy at the wedding.. when she seems confused, you can say, "oh, omgosh I'm sorry i thought that comment on facebook was just a joke.. i could have sworn we mentioned this.."

then you can chalk it up to silly miscommunication

NOLAbridealmost

Yeah an LOL on FB does not an invitation make.  

Don't worry about that at all. She was rude for assuming the kids were invited in the first place.  Just allow her to bring breast feeding babies and you're good. 

tenofcups4me

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_friend-invited-kids-convo-didnt-speak-up-now-regretting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:29eb525b-89e2-4393-b216-16e46d54aed0Post:f3fd42a9-08a5-4c6e-b894-4e85e9292165">Re: friend invited kids in convo and I didn't speak up-- now regretting it</a>:
[QUOTE]Only address it to her and her boyfriend then. However, she will likely have her 4 month old there as breast feeding babies are the exception to the "no kids" policy.  Are you allowing others to have children?  Because that is also something to consider.
Posted by Habs2Hart[/QUOTE]

Maybe for you; certainly not for everyone. (And we don't have any idea if this is a breastfed baby or not.) OP, if she responds that she's bringing her children, you'll need to call her, apologize for the "misunderstanding" and let her know the invitation is for her and her boyfriend. If the FB conversation comes up, you can just let her know you thought she was kidding.

sarahsaturday2701

LOL definitely does not mean "yes" in my book, especially since it kind of seems that she was sort-of trying to hint that she expects her kids to be invited.  If she rsvp's with the kids just be really polite about it and simply explain that you cannot accomodate the kiddies.  Most people will understand, and if she gives you attitude just remember she is the one going against etiquette not you. Just be as gracious as you can.  I also don't agree that you have to allow bf'ing babies if you don't want to.  I have a friend with a 7-week old.  We've gone out for dinner/drinks a couple times since the baby was born and when we do she just pumped and had the baby-sitter bottle-feed.  She also gets bottle-fed at daycare so I guess I don't see why a wedding should be different if the couple would prefer not to have kids there.  Do what makes you happy!

MobKaz

I don't mean to be a "Debbie Downer", but regardless of what you include on the RSVP card, some people will bring small ones regardless...

My daughter had something similar to this, AND included a box to check for which entree you preferred.  We had one guest embellish our cards with the following.....

"we have reserved ____ seats in your name  Little Mary won't need a seat, she will sit on my lap
Please reply on or before ____
Beef______Chicken______Vegetarian______ Little Mary will not require a meal

Be prepared to have a polite, but firm rebuttal!