I'm a BM in my friend's wedding next year. I know that at one time, they had talked about JOPing before he deployed and before their son was born, and having the "wedding" later. She told me they decided to wait though.
Over our wedding weekend, I noticed that both she and her FI were wearing what appeared to be wedding bands, and when we were talking about our ceremony, he said something along the lines of "oh, so this is like your actual wedding then, you're not already married?" and seemed a little surprised.
Now, I wouldn't care at all if they were already married and doing a big PPD next year. I know some people are bothered by it, but she's my friend and I would still stand up for her. But if they are keeping their marriage from people, that's entirely different. Overall, I really don't want her to piss off any other friends or family.
Is there any tactful way to ask, or should I just let it go?