Wedding Etiquette Forum

Family Issues - HELP

So, I've been going back and forth about my guest list for months and have been having a really hard time with this.  I'm hoping some of you will have helpful suggestions or insight, because everyone that I've talked to just says I should do what I want, but I don't know what that is.  When I was 15 my parents got divorced.  Before their divorce I had been pretty close with my dad's side of the family (aunts, uncles, cousins).  My dad was an abusive alcoholic, so I stopped speaking with him after the divorce, up until he died a few years ago.  Since I stopped talking to my dad none of my extended side of the family has talked to me whatsoever (a little over a decade). There hasn't been any animosity either - they were kind at the funeral.  It's an awkward situation to say the least, but I feel like inviting them would be like extending an olive branch and could be the start of feeling like I have my family again.  My mom (who is paying for the wedding, along with my FI's parents) does not want them there.  My dads side of the family sided with my dad when my parents got divorced, despite the fact they all knew he was an alcoholic - although I don't think they knew the extent of the abuse.  She said I could do what I want about inviting them, but it would upset her if I invited them, and I don't want to upset her.
To throw a little more confusion in there, there is currently a medical malpractice lawsuit going on regarding my Dads death.  They all know about it, and my brothers and I may end up receiving a large sum of money due to the unfortunate circumstances of his death.  I don't know how this could affect the relationship either, especially if they think I'm undeserving since I cut my ties with him.  But I don't know what they think.

I speak with one aunt, and have talked to my grandmother a few times since my Dad's death, and they will be invited.  It's not a particularly small wedding, so my Dad's side not getting invited will not go unnoticed.  

Inviting my Dad's side will only add about ten people to the guest list, and I don't think they'll come anyway since they would have to travel (and we haven't spoken).

So, what do I do???
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards