Holiday Weekend Weddings (posted on another board too, heads up)

jcamm11

Hi, my wedding is July 3rd.  I was emailed an article by The Knot this morning called What Your Guests Are Really Thinking.  The article bashes on weddings that take place over holiday weekends.  I can't change my wedding date, as I've already reserved my venue, vendors, and have save the dates in the works.  It's really made me upset.  Has anyone else had a chance to read this?  What are your thoughts?

http://wedding.theknot.com/getting-engaged/engaged/articles/dont-make-these-guest-mistakes.aspx?page=2

opalsky007

I don't see a holiday wedding as "ruining" a holiday weekend. It's one day, and you still get to enjoy the rest of it.

Keep in mind that some folks have long-standing family traditions for certain holidays, and that they may decide to decline your invitation over it. But I don't think it's rude to get married over a holiday weekend.

Y I Oughta

There really isn't a whole lot you can do at this point if you can't change it. My best friend was married on July 3rd quite a few years ago. I don't remember anyone having a problem with it or anyone complaining. I look at it this way, the person (hopefully) will have one wedding but the holiday happens every year. If there is a guest that has a problem with it they just won't come.

ETA: Our wedding is the day before Fathers day, I asked around before booking and not one person said they wouldn't be able to come because it was a holiday weekend.

waitingformay

Mine is over Memorial Day weekend and I am not worried about it. If people don't want to come they don't have to. It's actually what was best for our families since all of FHs family is travelling. They preferred a holiday weekend.

You need to do what's best for you and your family and understand that you are not going to find a day that suits everyone on your guest list. As long as it's ok with the people who you need to be there.

I went to a wedding on Memorial Day, the actual Monday and that was annoying because to me it defeated the purpose of having it on a holiday weekend. I still had to travel on the Tuesday which was a work day.

waltzingmatilda13

DH and I went to a wedding on Labor Day weekend (DH was actually a GM) and it didn't ruin our weekend by any means. A lot of people still showed up, but it can be inconvenient for some people, but any weekend is that way. No date is perfect for everyone you want to be there and nothing will change that.

kcscejal

We purposely avoided any holiday weekends because I didn't want to interrupt anyone's normal plans.  I know a lot of people that tend to spend any lon weekends away at the lake or with family, but I personally wouldn't have a problem going to a wedding on a holiday weekend.  I could see some people who aren't as close to you RSVPing no, but those who want to be there will be and won't mind.

sarah0725

Well, for one thing, something about that article rubs me the wrong way even though I agree with most of the points in it. Those sound like some whiny guests.

As for the holiday weekend thing, I don't personally feel that my weekend would be ruined by going to a wedding. Weddings are awesome parties, and often I don't have different plans. I've been to weddings near the 4th of July and on Labor Day Weekend, and I was fine with them.

That said, I also don't have the kind of 9 to 5 job where national holidays are really important, so maybe I just have a different perspective.

SarahPLiz

My wedding was Thanksgiving weekend, and no one complained but my crochety aunt that complains about everything. Her excuse was that airports would be too crowded. Whatever, I'm glad she didn't come, with an attitude like that. Most of my family was glad I used a holiday weekend so they didn't have to take time off of work to travel (90% OOT). In fact, that's why we planned it like that. So there!

ETA: However, if its a holiday weekend at a popular holiday destination (the beach on 4th of July, Hawaii on Memorial Day, etc) then it could cost them more. Austin is not a big Thanksgiving destination, so it was no biggie. My BFF's FI's sister got married in Hawaii on Memorial Day weekend and forced her family to stay for 7 days. THAT was an expensive trip and my BFF still hates her for that. 

brilibby4

I mean common sense really didn't tell you some people may be inconvenienced by a wedding during 4th of July weekend?  It wouldn't ruin my holiday weekend but there are some holidays I would not be able to attend weddings (unless couples very close to us were getting married!) because of family traditions.  4th of July is very busy for my side of the family and fiance's side and we would probably skip your wedding unless you were a very close friend/family member.

I don't think it is "wrong" as long as you don't hold grudges against those who make the decision to skip your wedding.

jemmini6

FI's friend just got married on Saturday and it conflicted with a lot of people's holiday parties (granted it's not an actual holiday weekend, it's close to the holidays where lots of people are busy).  You just have to be prepared for the fact that it might conflict with family traditions, etc and some people might decline.

 However, I think most people might like that it's over a holiday weekend, especially if they are coming from OOT.  Gives them an extra paid day off to travel without taking vacation time, plus they could make a 'vacation' out of it.  Is your wedding in Philidelphia?  That's probably a cool place to spend the 4th of July, perhaps in your invites you can just suggest things for your guests to do to get the most out of their trip?

I think you are fine.  People will generally find a way to make it work and adjust their plans to be there for you.

kikibaby

I've never had to go to a wedding on a holiday weekend, but I'd be irritated.  When I have a long weekend off of work, I want to spend it doing something I want to do- going on a trip, or just lounging around the house/getting stuff done. 

[Deleted User]

I read this. Some of it is so ridiculous! Don't worry about your date. Those who are important will be there. Most of this article is crazy. I know they are points that people complain about, but so many people forget that an invitation to a wedding is an invitation, not a summons.

hlq2011

Just be prepared for people not to come because they have other traditions.

annakb8

My FI went to a wedding last July 3 (I wasn't invited because our relationship wasn't "serious" or "committed" enough, but that is a different story). It was a Saturday this year, so are you getting married on a Friday? This might make it so guests can still proceed with their normal plans (unless a lot of travel is involved.)

Anyway, I think that it is always best to not get married on a holiday weekend if you can help it. Travel is always more expensive on these weekends. Also, I like to use my long weekends to just relax if I can. I also know that a lot of people around the marrying age already feel like they have to use all of their "vacations" travelling to weddings. All in all though, 4th of July weekend is less annoying than other holidays.

marissa_claire

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_holiday-weekend-weddings-posted-another-board-heads-up?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2be60147-41f9-4476-b669-8bf2f16f2171Post:20001ba9-37f8-49e7-8d60-4dcf47f55380">Re: Holiday Weekend Weddings (posted on another board too, heads up)</a>:
[QUOTE]My wedding was Thanksgiving weekend, and no one complained but my crochety aunt that complains about everything. Her excuse was that airports would be too crowded. Whatever, I'm glad she didn't come, with an attitude like that. Most of my family was glad I used a holiday weekend so they didn't have to take time off of work to travel (90% OOT). In fact, that's why we planned it like that. So there! ETA: However, if its a holiday weekend at a popular holiday destination (the beach on 4th of July, Hawaii on Memorial Day, etc) then it could cost them more. Austin is not a big Thanksgiving destination, so it was no biggie. My BFF's FI's sister got married in Hawaii on Memorial Day weekend and forced her family to stay for 7 days. THAT was an expensive trip and my BFF still hates her for that. 
Posted by SarahPLiz[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Yeah, we had the same date.  We didn't have any complaints, and even then everyone had a perfectly fine time traveling (and this was with all the TSA business going on!)  </div><div>
</div><div>I think planning it on the actual holiday might be rude - like a July 4th wedding or a wedding on Mothers' Day when you have a long-standing tradition.  But really - no matter when you have it, if someone wants to be there, they will make it.  </div><div>
</div><div>AND to add to the other Sarah, I think what bugged me about the article is that they seemed to have written it all based on Knotties' advice.  It sounded like the boards compiled a list of guest grievances.  It doesn't seem to align with what most wedding advice sites, books, etc. tend to advise new brides. 

</div>

SaraAndrew2010

I personally wouldn't plan a wedding on a holiday weekend.  Travel arrangements can be difficult/expenisve for guests and as PPs said, some people have standing traditions planned.  I think it can be an inconvenience to guests and you might have a lower turnout.

That said, I went to a 4th of July wedding in 2009 and had a blast.  It was OOT and FI and I made a long weekend of it and did sightseeing as well.  I didn't mind that holiday weekend wedding, but it's kind of a case by case deal. It all depends on your guests.  If you already have it booked and can't change it, then make the best of it.  But I wouldn't be shocked if a few guests are annoyed.

mermaidutp

As PPs have said, I wouldn't worry too much - if people are unable to attend, they won't.  I am happy to go to weddings on or around minor holidays, as it gives me a chance to take my time getting there (if it's not local) or I know that I still have an extra day to recover from all of the wedding fun! 

Calypso1977

i associate 4th of july, memorial day and labor day with big family BBQ gatherings and parties.  i wouldnt not go to a wedding if it were a holiday weekend, but i do find them annoying.  also, if you ahve to fly, plane tix are always inflated then, and gas prices get hiked too.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

We had a semi-holiday weekend (Columbus Day) which worked well. My MIL and SIL only had to take one day off (Friday) and got Monday off because they're teachers. For a major holiday that you usually spend with family, like the weekend before or after Christmas, that might be more of a hassel. My mom had to go to a wedding between Christmas and NYE about 20 years ago and complains that it was so inconvenient to this day (plus, in our area, the weather is bound to be terrible).

However, I've been to weddings over Labor Day weekend. We always had long-standing family plans for that weekend, but we skipped them and got over it.

lyndausvi

The only time I would care is if DH's siblings got married on T-giving, between Dec 15-Jan 5 or Easter weekend.    That is  because we can not take off work during that time, no expections (and it's well known to the family). 

If it was a friend who had a wedding during thost times we would be disappointed, but would not think it's wrong.

All other times of the year are good for us.

salt78

The only holiday that I can think of (aside from Christmas) where it might really piss me off to have to go to a wedding would be New Years Eve. Personally I would never choose to get married on a holiday myself, but I would probably not decline a wedding on July 3rd. 

Snippylynn

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_holiday-weekend-weddings-posted-another-board-heads-up?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2be60147-41f9-4476-b669-8bf2f16f2171Post:34ded367-4e46-4a1a-8e45-9651e8b3ca92">Re: Holiday Weekend Weddings (posted on another board too, heads up)</a>:
[QUOTE]I mean common sense really didn't tell you some people may be inconvenienced by a wedding during 4th of July weekend?  It wouldn't ruin my holiday weekend but there are some holidays I would not be able to attend weddings (unless couples very close to us were getting married!) because of family traditions.  4th of July is very busy for my side of the family and fiance's side and we would probably skip your wedding unless you were a very close friend/family member. I don't think it is "wrong" as long as you don't hold grudges against those who make the decision to skip your wedding.
Posted by brilibby4[/QUOTE]
I actually agree with this completely. 

annakb8

I just wanted to add that I think it depends where you are getting married. If I have to give up my holiday plans to go to some podunk town in the middle of nowhere Alabama I'd be pissed. But if the wedding was somewhere awesome like NYC or Charleston I wold be excited.

OP, I see you are from Phillidelphia. Are you getting married there? If you are I wouldn't worry about your date because I think Philly would be an awesome place to spend the 4th.

SaraAndrew2010

Also, although I am not completely against holiday weekend weddings, I think it does raise the bar for the type of wedding you have.  If I canceled family plans or declined an invitation to a friend's cool party, I would be very annoyed if the wedding only had a cake and punch or cocktail reception.  I think if you have a holiday wedding, you should plan on really doing it up and providing your guests with a great experience.

jcamm11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_holiday-weekend-weddings-posted-another-board-heads-up?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2be60147-41f9-4476-b669-8bf2f16f2171Post:6da28250-a228-4e45-bd5b-6d994e97ef4b">Re: Holiday Weekend Weddings (posted on another board too, heads up)</a>:
[QUOTE]OP, I see you are from Phillidelphia. Are you getting married there? If you are I wouldn't worry about your date because I think Philly would be an awesome place to spend the 4th.
Posted by annakb8[/QUOTE]

No, we are getting married in Minneapolis/St. Paul.  That is where about 95% of our guests live, and where we are both from.  We are living out east temporarily because of our jobs.  The twin cities are not a bad area if you have never been.

sarah0725

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_holiday-weekend-weddings-posted-another-board-heads-up?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2be60147-41f9-4476-b669-8bf2f16f2171Post:dcdc3cf3-a83e-42b0-92b8-98b2cb75badc">Re: Holiday Weekend Weddings (posted on another board too, heads up)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Holiday Weekend Weddings (posted on another board too, heads up) : No, we are getting married in Minneapolis/St. Paul.  That is where about 95% of our guests live, and where we are both from.  We are living out east temporarily because of our jobs.  The twin cities are not a bad area if you have never been.
Posted by jcamm11[/QUOTE]

I'd happily spend a holiday weekend at a wedding in Minneapolis. I've been there twice since I moved to Milwaukee, and I think it's pretty neat.

noodle_oo

I think you may be taking this a bit too personally.  You can't change your plans, so just don't sweat it!  Nothing you can do about it now.

That being said, I will say that I don't love weddings on holiday weekends either, but they are really common.  I think the 4th of July is the one holiday I'd prefer not to have a wedding on because it is in the middle of the summer, perfect vacation time and generally one of my favorite holidays.  But Labor Day, Mem Day and Columbus day weekend are all fine.  In fact, 3 of my friends have gotten married on Columbus day weekend and I never cared.  The other big one would be around Christmas/New Years.  That's a pain for friends, but I get that sometimes it is convenient if all your family will be in town anyway.

annakb8

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_holiday-weekend-weddings-posted-another-board-heads-up?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2be60147-41f9-4476-b669-8bf2f16f2171Post:dcdc3cf3-a83e-42b0-92b8-98b2cb75badc">Re: Holiday Weekend Weddings (posted on another board too, heads up)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Holiday Weekend Weddings (posted on another board too, heads up) : No, we are getting married in Minneapolis/St. Paul.  That is where about 95% of our guests live, and where we are both from.  We are living out east temporarily because of our jobs.  The twin cities are not a bad area if you have never been.
Posted by jcamm11[/QUOTE]


I'd be cool with minneapolis too. I've never been but always heard great things about it.

mica178

Other than Thanksgiving and Christmas, I don't have set holiday plans.  I've been to weddings on both the July 4th weekend and Labor Day weekends, and I married over Columbus Day weekend myself.  If you have a lot of OOT guests, it's convenient for them to not have to take time off from work.  Prices might be higher to travel, but if you get your tickets early, they should not be too high.

cherbein

I've been to Labor Day weekend and Fourth of July weekend weddings before and I had a great time.  I think my friends thought they were being really nice because there was more off time for people to travel without having to take vacation time from work, which some people may have appreciated.  Others may have not been happy that gas prices and plane tickets are pretty bad over holidays.  No matter what you do, someone's going to not like.  Your date is picked and as opposed to worrying about who won't like a holiday weekend wedding you should be concentrating on the happy things.  You can't please everyone and its not worth the stress to worry about this one!

meganyani

The only holidays I would care to not attend a wedding ON the actual day would be Easter and Christmas. Beyond that I don't think it's a big deal, and as was said, what better way to party for a holiday than a wedding?!

I did the Columbus Day thing too (please tell me no one actually celebrates this holiday) so it worked well for the travellers.

Your date is fine and expect to be missing some people. But those are less mouths to feed