Is having a cash bar completely unacceptable???

kbmeow

In the Boston area it is very common to have cash bars.  The last 5 weddings I went to were cash bar.  And they were not budget wedding.  They were 30k 40k .  I am doing a punch drink with cocktail hour.  And I am doing wine with dinner.   Take in mind I do not like beer, and I do not drink wine.  So I will have to buy myself a drink anyway

nda_roxybabe

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_having-cash-bar-completely-unacceptable-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:2c30fee2-e285-4d18-95c0-545ffca4ace1Post:d624bac9-8726-4593-909c-be5935677835">Re: Is having a cash bar completely unacceptable???</a>:
[QUOTE]In the Boston area it is very common to have cash bars.  The last 5 weddings I went to were cash bar.  And they were not budget wedding.  They were 30k 40k .  I am doing a punch drink with cocktail hour.  And I am doing wine with dinner.   Take in mind I do not like beer, and I do not drink wine.  So I will have to buy myself a drink anyway
Posted by kbmeow[/QUOTE]

Realllllly? Because I know of a reg on here who lives in Boston and says Cash bars are 100% not the norm.

ShanaFry

Ahhh you're so right, where were my manners! I was lucky my FI family let us know right away what they were giving us as a gift and typically the grooms family does pay for alcohol, rehearsal dinner, the brides bouquet, mothers corsages, marriage license, BTW I wouldn't know any of this if my FMIL wasn't the queen of "etiquette". hahaha

quotequeen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_having-cash-bar-completely-unacceptable-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2c30fee2-e285-4d18-95c0-545ffca4ace1Post:761f54ff-ff4d-422c-bd27-1423c5b910a9">Re: Is having a cash bar completely unacceptable???</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm sorry, I looked at your pictures Emily and they are ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS!! I understand... i appreciate ALL of your feedback.. even those who were slightly "harsh" ;) It's good to know what people outside my circle, and other circles think..because not everyone is going to have the same opinion, not even at my wedding... so I've got to be prepared for it all :) Thank you!!
Posted by MacFreitas7[/QUOTE]

I thought you said that you had only been to a couple of weddings when you were underage and didn't know what the norm was?

opalsky007

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_having-cash-bar-completely-unacceptable-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2c30fee2-e285-4d18-95c0-545ffca4ace1Post:615e594d-827c-40cb-bcc9-ce42dba0a8bf">Re: Is having a cash bar completely unacceptable???</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Is having a cash bar completely unacceptable??? : But, that includes liquor, right?  She's saying her price is for beer/wine, which to me is freakn' nuts for basic house wine and domestic beer.  It's apparently for 250 guests, which explains part of it, but that's still really high, to me.
Posted by squirrly[/QUOTE]

Comes out to $16 a head though. For beer and wine all night, that's not a bad deal. If everyone has a drink per hour for a four hour reception, thats $4 per drink. That's not bad anywhere, but definitely not in Boston.

Goldlie11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_having-cash-bar-completely-unacceptable-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2c30fee2-e285-4d18-95c0-545ffca4ace1Post:615e594d-827c-40cb-bcc9-ce42dba0a8bf">Re: Is having a cash bar completely unacceptable???</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Is having a cash bar completely unacceptable??? : But, that includes liquor, right?  She's saying her price is for beer/wine, which to me is freakn' nuts for basic house wine and domestic beer.  It's apparently for 250 guests, which explains part of it, but that's still really high, to me.
Posted by squirrly[/QUOTE]
I'm paying $30 pp for beer, wine, soda, and a signature drink.  I've seen places that charge way more.  One person on my local was quoted $50 pp for beer and wine.  <div>
</div><div>Like Opalsky said, $4,000 for 250 is a damn good price.  </div><div>
</div><div>
</div>

Bec20

First off OP, thanks for apologzing.

I would only be really offended by a cash bar in certain circumstances.  However, I do know that other people would be offended by them no matter what the situation is.  According to etiquette, a dry wedding is preferable to a cash bar.  However, I know some people who would be much more put off by a dry wedding than they would be by a cash bar.

Tt's very difficult to please everybody when it comes to the alcohol, with the exception of a full open bar.  (But I suppose that might not impress whoever is stuck paying the bar tab at the end of the night!)

smokeybailey

I'm having a cash dinner and an open bar.  You can buy a box lunch at the front and then grab a drink.

What?  That isn't okay?

Belle2Be

As for the OP, I would be offended by a cash bar during the cocktail hour, but not offended by it being cash during the reception. However I would expect at least wine during the reception. 4k is a lot, I'd talk to the venue and see if they would replace the centerpiece $$ towards the open bar money and DIY your centerpieces.

damaless

Ultimately it depends on whether an open bar is expected by the friends and family you're inviting to the wedding.  For instance, in my case, most of FI's family can't even drink because they're allergic to alcohol, and the most common type of bar at weddings in my family has been a toonie bar (guests pay $2, host pays the rest), so that's what we're doing.

Meagan78

We're paying for unlimited beer, wine, soda and for a champagne toast.  Because FI's family are liquor drinkers and mine mostly aren't except a small glass of wine or beer, we chose not to pay for open bar.  We are going to have a cash bar only for people who want shots or mixed drinks - everything else is covered by us.  I think this is a good compromise.

kimp67

sorry cash bars at weddings are always bad!

MacFreitas7

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_having-cash-bar-completely-unacceptable-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:2c30fee2-e285-4d18-95c0-545ffca4ace1Post:4158d5d5-4010-4aa0-835a-ee326450bb24">Re: Is having a cash bar completely unacceptable???</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Is having a cash bar completely unacceptable??? :
 
I thought you said that you had only been to a couple of weddings when you were underage and didn't know what the norm was?
Posted by quotequeen[/QUOTE]

I never asked what the "norm" was I asked if it was unacceptable  - there's a big difference there. Yes, I've been underage at the weddings I've been to so it never occurred to me if the bar was open or not. I wanted to know what people outside my circle felt about it... and clearly the majority are against it... I guess it's a good thing that none of these knotties will be coming to my wedding ;)

quotequeen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_having-cash-bar-completely-unacceptable-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2c30fee2-e285-4d18-95c0-545ffca4ace1Post:57e70a90-1898-4cca-9541-85f30c55da8c">Re: Is having a cash bar completely unacceptable???</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Is having a cash bar completely unacceptable??? : I never asked what the "norm" was I asked if it was unacceptable  - there's a big difference there. Yes, I've been underage at the weddings I've been to so it never occurred to me if the bar was open or not. I wanted to know what people outside my circle felt about it... and clearly the majority are against it... I guess it's a good thing that none of these knotties will be coming to my wedding ;)
Posted by MacFreitas7[/QUOTE]

Ok... but do you know how every single one of your guests feels about it?

aral2003

honestly.... i cringe when i hear the words "cash bar" and "wedding" in the same sentence.  i get annoyed even when i go to a wedding and there is only open bar during the cocktail hour.