Too many speeches (long)

Fancypantsamy

I'm getting married at the end of the month (Yay!) and I'm really looking forward to spending time with all of my guests at the reception - we have 160 people coming and 60% of them are people I don't see very often since I live very far from where I grew up. So I'd like to check myself with the E board about something that I feel very strongly about.

I'm not crazy about wedding speeches. Everyone will have just sat through the ceremony (there is no real gap between our events) and frankly, as a guest, I can only think of one wedding speech I've heard that wasn't boring, self involved or awkward. My Matron of Honor and his Best Man are giving toasts, but they both understand and feel the same way I do about speeches and are both on the same page as FI and I about keeping it extremely brief and keeping inside jokes to a minimum. 

However, for some reason three other groomsmen, one of my bridesmaids, one of my uncles (who has really wild political beliefs that I'm not comfortable with) all want to make speeches. And some non wedding party friends want to perform something during the reception as well, but it's supposed to be a surprise. 

I don't want to pull the it's my day bit since I don't agree with that mentality, but I do feel like that number of speeches would interupt my ability to mingle with my guests. I feel like we've been planning this big event for a long time and a lot of people  are traveling very far to see FI and I, not to listen to one of his buddies talk about some inside joke that isn't funny to 158 of the people there. I've  politely told some of the people who have wanted to talk that I don't really like speeches and we weren't planning on having any but they are welcome to say a few words at the RD the night before. One of the groomsmen accussed me of stealing his moment. Excuse me? I quietly let that one go, but it didn't exactly make me want to tell the DJ to pass the mic to him.

Is it okay if I just put the kibosh on any speeches other than the two toasts from our honor attendants that I had previously planned on? It's not just my day, but it's also the day of all of my guests who will probably be bored to tears if I let everyone get a speech. FI agrees with me, and so do my parents and his mother who are all paying a large chunk of the costs, but I'm worried that I'm making a faux paus.

 Edit: I added long to the subject line. 

achiduck

"Dear BM/GM/Uncle, we're so flattered that you want to give a speech but we'd really like to keep that portion of the wedding as brief as possible. Thanks for understanding! How's little sally/your dog/work?"

Just inform your DJ ahead of time of who is and isn't making speeches and make sure that he/she knows there should NOT be an open mike portion of the reception.

courtski2004

I agree to alert the DJ to this, since they are going to be the emcee for the reception. If you want to designate an alternate time for speeches, the rehearsal dinner would be a good time for speeches/toasts by family members and wedding party (although it seems that you don't want anything other than the BM and MOH toasts at the reception). We did this at my sister's RD, and it was a lot of fun.

LeiselEB

Let them know that you're flattered they want to speak, but that you want to keep toasts to a minimum. Give the DJ a list of who is speaking and tell them not to let anyone else grab the microphone. Have him announce the speeches, and then announce when they're over after the last speaker finishes - then if anyone was going to try and sneak in at the end, the DJ will have blocked their opportunity. 

JaxInBlue

Agree with PPs.  Make your DJ/venue coordinator aware of the people who wil be speaking at the reception and request that no one else be added or that the mike be passed.  Tell him/her that you are aware of some potential "surprises" and that you are really trying to keep things short.

FWIW, I have a parent who tends to go off message at family events, as well as become very emotional over odd things.  But said parent really wanted to speak at something, so the consensus was the rehearsal dinner.  It worked out really well.

gmcr78

I feel your pain, here.  I have a socially inappropriate cousin who likes to grab the mic at weddings and other events and sing.  She's already offered to sing at our wedding.  I politely but firmly told her that we would not be requiring the services of any family or friends that day, and that we want everyone to just enjoy being guests.  I have a contingency plan to alert the DJ that under no circumstances should she be given a mic or should he honor any request from her to stop the music, make announcements, etc. 
I think the PP's have given you great advice, and I agree with them.  Politely turn them down, and alert your DJ. 

LizM61409

Also alert your matron of honor and best man, so they know to give the mic back to the DJ, and not to a bonus speaker