Wedding Etiquette Forum

Camping Questions

FI and I are going to have our reception on a family farm and have been discussing allowing guests to camp on the land. There are only two hotels in town and we want to offer a third, cheaper option since a lot of our guests will be on a budget and will be driving from far away. We don't need to plan or finalize or even decide to offer this for awhile, but we got into an arguement about the etiquette of this and I'm wondering who is right.

The farm is on unfiltered well water that reeks of sulfer. The plumbing cannot support our guest list, plus the reception is outside, so we were going to have porta potties and sinks available anyway and this is what we would have for camping guests. There's no argument that we have to offer that, but it's an added cost. Most OOT guests will be driving 6+ hours, so they will likely want to arrive the day before. I think that if they are staying on family land for two days, it would be rude to not provide them with meals. At least breakfast Saturday and Sunday (obviously Saturday dinner will be the reception). I brought up the concern that we cannot afford to provide sanitation and food for however many guests would take us up on this option, and I feel it would be rude to charge them as if we were a commercial campsite.

FI agrees 100% that we can't charge them. But he thinks that we are under no obligation to feed them. He says that we are providing free lodging for them, as long as they provide a tent, so they are already better off than if they were paying $100+ to stay in a hotel, so they can get or bring their own food. I say that they are on a farm outside of a town they have never been to before, it's not fair to tell them to fend for themselves. He says we'll give them information to help them find food, no different that if they were in a Super 8. And they aren't paying us $60/night, so we don't have to give them free breakfast.

CN: If we offer the option of camping for free on a family farm for wedding guests, do we have to provide their meals? Any other opinions on this situation are welcome, too, since we're still tossing around ideas on how to put this all together.
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Re: Camping Questions

  • I agree with your fiance no need to provide meals. I do think you need to provide bathrooms and somehow access to a shower, however. Are your guests big campers? It's not my thing so I'm trying to gauge how many people would take you up on this anyway.
  • In Response to Re:Camping Questions:[QUOTE]FI and I are going to have our reception on a family farm and have been discussing allowing guests to camp on the land. There are only two hotels in town and we want to offer a third, cheaper option since a lot of our guests will be on a budget and will be driving from far away. We don't need to plan or finalize or even decide to offer this for awhile, but we got into an arguement about the etiquette of this and I'm wondering who is right.The farm is on unfiltered well water that reeks of sulfer. The plumbing cannot support our guest list, plus the reception is outside, so we were going to have porta potties and sinks available anyway and this is what we would have for camping guests. There's no argument that we have to offer that, but it's an added cost. Most OOT guests will be driving 6 hours, so they will likely want to arrive the day before. I think that if they are staying on family land for two days, it would be rude to not provide them with meals. At least breakfast Saturday and Sunday obviously Saturday dinner will be the reception. I brought up the concern that we cannot afford to provide sanitation and food for however many guests would take us up on this option, and I feel it would be rude to charge them as if we were a commercial campsite.FI agrees 100 that we can't charge them. But he thinks that we are under no obligation to feed them. He says that we are providing free lodging for them, as long as they provide a tent, so they are already better off than if they were paying 100 to stay in a hotel, so they can get or bring their own food. I say that they are on a farm outside of a town they have never been to before, it's not fair to tell them to fend for themselves. He says we'll give them information to help them find food, no different that if they were in a Super 8. And they aren't paying us 60/night, so we don't have to give them free breakfast.CN: If we offer the option of camping for free on a family farm for wedding guests, do we have to provide their meals? Any other opinions on this situation are welcome, too, since we're still tossing around ideas on how to put this all together. Posted by Chloeagh[/QUOTE]


    I agree that you don't have to pay for food for the campers, but I would spring for a way to pay for the "nicer" flushing portopotties and portable showers.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_camping-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2c5a66af-42cb-4312-8d45-9ea7533bc381Post:e2c701ad-8405-4042-a722-76a5c23f9dd0">Re:Camping Questions</a>:
    [QUOTE]I agree with your fiance no need to provide meals. I do think you need to provide bathrooms and somehow access to a shower, however. Are your guests big campers? It's not my thing so I'm trying to gauge how many people would take you up on this anyway.
    Posted by Joy2611[/QUOTE]
    Not all of them, but some of them are. I can think of quite a few families that would take us up on this in a heartbeat. But since so many families will be OOT, we have no idea how many people will even go to the wedding, and how many of those are the camping ones. We would of course provide bathrooms, although I'm not sure what shower options would be since they wouldn't be able to use the main house. We would of course iron out all the details before offering this option and let people know exactly what they are signing up for if they choose to forego the hotel block.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_camping-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2c5a66af-42cb-4312-8d45-9ea7533bc381Post:b08321d9-8061-4b1a-9ebe-22801996aeb5">Re:Camping Questions</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:Camping Questions: I agree that you don't have to pay for food for the campers, but I would spring for a way to pay for the "nicer" flushing portopotties and portable showers.
    Posted by cmgilpin[/QUOTE]
    FI will be happy to hear that. :) I agree that if we offer this option we should have nicer facilities, so it will be a matter of if we can afford that. I have no problem camping for two days with no shower, but I wouldn't want to attend a wedding in the middle of it!
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  • Personally, if I were one of your guests, I would jump at this camping option.  Maybe you could find out who will be doing the camping option and tell your campers beforehand, and they could organize with each other when it comes to meals.  That depends on how familiar they are with each other, but that would be a nice option for all of them. 

  • While I enjoy camping a lot, I'm not sure I would camp just before a wedding. Is there showers available? Somewhere for ladies to do their hair and makeup? What about ironing their clothes? 

    In your position, I would provide bathrooms for sure, showers also, and probably one meal but not every meal they need. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_camping-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2c5a66af-42cb-4312-8d45-9ea7533bc381Post:a8a91286-1b9c-40a9-b4e1-6f9f821589aa">Re: Camping Questions</a>:
    [QUOTE]Personally, if I were one of your guests, I would jump at this camping option.  Maybe you could find out who will be doing the camping option and tell your campers beforehand, and they could organize with each other when it comes to meals.  That depends on how familiar they are with each other, but that would be a nice option for all of them. 
    Posted by kerbohl[/QUOTE]
    Yay! That's good to hear. And I will have to remember to suggest that, since I'm sure there will be multiple families on my mom's side that are interested. We've had family reunions and weddings before where the whole family camped on that side.
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  • Um... what if it rains?  And I would not want to attend a wedding without taking a shower first - especially if the majority of the guests are staying in hotels and will be clean and sweet smelling.
  • A cousin of my cousin did this recently (I don't know that side of the family so I didn't attend), and it seemed to be quite a hit. Their wedding was VERY casual, though, so I'm not sure anyone even really dressed up? But it was something a very large number of people enjoyed. FWIW, the wedding was in northern CA and a lot of folks came from North Carolina for it and camped out. 
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  • I'm on my way to my third camping wedding of this year on Saturday. I know there are places that you can rent bathroom/sink/shower stations. I have no idea how much those cost though.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_camping-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2c5a66af-42cb-4312-8d45-9ea7533bc381Post:4e0def80-adc7-4c33-99e5-d0050052edad">Re: Camping Questions</a>:
    [QUOTE]Um... what if it rains?  And I would not want to attend a wedding without taking a shower first - especially if the majority of the guests are staying in hotels and will be clean and sweet smelling.
    Posted by Loopyseven[/QUOTE]
    As far as campers, that's the risk you take when you choose to camp. And we do hope to have a shower trailer if at all possible. For the reception, there is a rain site that would be plenty big. We would like it to be outside, but we know the weather might not be perfect and we will be prepared for that.
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  • I would definitely get the trailer restrooms that are a big step up from port-a-potties, and there should be a shower option as well.  

    I don't think you need to provide any food for the campers.  Part of camping is cooking/bringing your own food.  It would be nice to provide them with info about nearby restaurants and grocery stores.  If you do have a meal for the campers, I would open it up to all your guests (at least all the out of town guests).  You could even just have hot chocolate and cookies or s'mores the night people are arriving.  People enjoy the chance to hang out and see the bride and groom, especially when they're coming a long way for the wedding, so if you can and want to do something like that, I am sure it would be appreciated.
  • Oh, I love that idea! I'm not sure what all we'll be allowed to do for fire it is a farm and it might be dry, but having a welcome snack and hanging out is definitely something I'll want to do.
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  • Hmmm... How are your guests supposed to cook if you can't have a fire? Not everyone has one of those gas grilles for camping. I'm a traditionalist and would want to cook over open flame. That's half the fun of camping!
  • If you let them come camping, you should inform everybody beforehand that the shower and toilet in the house are not available.  To not come off as rude I'd mention the well plumbing is not capable of handling many people.

    My next concern is showers, and a proper place for the ladies to do makeup and hair in the morning.  If there is only nasty port-a-potty's I would not be coming.

    Will you be providing a grill and fridge for campers?  Eating out every meal adds up.
  • ChloeaghChloeagh member
    100 Comments Second Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited October 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_camping-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2c5a66af-42cb-4312-8d45-9ea7533bc381Post:0907bd1e-dbda-410f-bd94-d80bbfb56a51">Re: Camping Questions</a>:
    [QUOTE]I definitely think you need to figure out the shower situation - providing showers and adequate facilities is more important in my mind than providing meals.  Are there any national parks or camp grounds near the farm that you could propose to people as a place to stay?  That way they'd still have the cheaper option of camping out, but wouldn't think they were being hosted and would know to plan ahead for their own food and showers.  And they'd be more likely to be allowed to have fires.
    Posted by kwitherington[/QUOTE]
    No, there are no campgrounds in the area, just trailer parks. I don't think fire will be too much of an issue. None of the campers in my family cook over fire; they all have gas stoves that they would be willing to share with others. I think that people will understand that if we're in a drought, like this year, you can't light a fire next to a corn field.
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  • ChloeaghChloeagh member
    100 Comments Second Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited October 2012
    Thanks, NYU. Obviously I'm going to do all I can to make them comfortable, but I'm not going to buy them a fridge! In my opinion, they can bring coolers like they would to any other campsite. It will be like a campsite, and those will be the ammenities we try to provide. We intend to give them all the information about what will and will not be available up front. Like FI has been saying, this is free and if they won't be happy with the situation, they don't have to choose it. There are other lodging options available.
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  • I was thinking about this more yesterday but didn't get a chance to post again.  I think providing potable water would be good, if you could do so.  Not a total necessity, but if you were able to get some larger containers of water so people didn't have to carry in all of their own, that would be great.  Glad you liked the welcome snack idea!
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_camping-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2c5a66af-42cb-4312-8d45-9ea7533bc381Post:cbf201e5-9ddf-466f-8c7a-4c2bdfbdd40d">Re: Camping Questions</a>:
    [QUOTE]I was thinking about this more yesterday but didn't get a chance to post again.  I think providing potable water would be good, if you could do so.  Not a total necessity, but if you were able to get some larger containers of water so people didn't have to carry in all of their own, that would be great.  Glad you liked the welcome snack idea!
    Posted by jessicabessica[/QUOTE]
    We will. We will be bringing in potable water for the reception because it would be too much work to get the house water ready, so we would just get more for them.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_camping-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2c5a66af-42cb-4312-8d45-9ea7533bc381Post:2f24e232-54da-4e39-8fa4-5f30d2bb0b55">Re: Camping Questions</a>:
    [QUOTE]FWIW, I think the people who opt for camping won't be too worried about the getting ready options or rain. I would pick camping, and shower and dry out my hair before we camped, and do makeup in my car mirror in the morning. The whole point of tents is to protect you from the elements, rain should not be a problem unless there are flash floods. 
    Posted by Liatris2010[/QUOTE]
    Thanks for this! I completely agree. As I've said, I will try to provide showers and changing rooms with mirrors for everyone, but if I can't afford to, I think people will understand. A lot of campsites don't have showers (or they cost $3 if they do) and most of the people I know that camp are of the "If we're going to bathe while camping, it'll be in a lake" type. <em><strong>I</strong></em> will probably want them to look nicer than they will want to. And if they aren't of that type, they can choose the hotel block.
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