Can you and how do you politely just ask for money instead of gifts?

nickie1523

First of all, my fiance and I would like to purchase a home soon after our wedding and we were wondering if you could ask for money instead of gifts? If so, how do you do so politely?

Mrs.B6302007

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_can-politely-just-ask-money-instead-of-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2cbc1557-e48e-4439-b52d-27157ebe0e4bPost:0a445567-9ab3-4217-bbac-79d9a6eca155">Can you and how do you politely just ask for money instead of gifts?</a>:
[QUOTE]First of all, my fiance and I would like to purchase a home soon after our wedding and we were wondering if you could ask for money instead of gifts? If so, how do you do so politely?
Posted by nickie1523[/QUOTE]

You never ask for cash.  Make a small registry and people will get the hint.

kcscejal

No, not specifically.  You can choose not to register (and risk some pretty off the wall gifts) or create a tiny registry and spread via word of mouth that you're saving for a house when people ask you or close family members such as your parents where you're registered at.

redheadfsu

No.

Just do not register or have a very very small registry. If guests ask you or your family, then tell them you are currently saving for a house.

J&K10910

You can't ask.  I mean, of course you CAN, but it's not polite.  So since you're going for polite (which is good), you should make a small registry (surely there are a few things you would need to buy anyway, yes?) and then let your parents and any family gossips know that you're saving to buy a house so they can spread the word that you guys are hoping for mostly cash gifts.

And if someone ASKS you what you want, it's ok to say "We're registered at (wherever) for a couple things, and we're also trying to save money to put a downpayment down on a house."

FutureMrsW9

I agree, just make a smaller registry.  But, typically, you'll get physical gifts no matter what for your shower and montetary gifts at your actual wedding.  I think that's pretty standard nowadays anyway, so I wouldn't worry too much about it.

lucyruth10

On the topic - what do folks consider a "small registry"?