wedding cake help

sgervais88

I know this probably doesn't belong on this board, but it's my favorite one

Anyway, I am not planning my wedding yet because it's so far away, and I kind of just want to enjoy being engaged at the moment. But my fiance (does FI stand for fiance on these boards btw?) and I already know who will do our wedding cake. This woman has done every birthday cake for every person in his family for the past twenty-ish years, as well as his mom's first and second (remarried) wedding cake, and his aunts' cakes, and his grandparents' 50th anniversary cake. Since we have been together (since Oct 2005), she has done my birthday cakes. Basically, she's doing our cake, end of story, and we both agree on this.

The problem: my family has only had her cake on a few occasions, and they want me to consider other people too. My mom and stepmom even think I am "missing out" on all the "cake sampling fun". How do I tell them that this woman's cakes are amazing, and beautiful, and we both want her to do it? I have tried explaining that we aren't planning our wedding yet, and when we do start, we already know we want her to do it, but they don't understand. Help!

JK10910

Just tell them that you did consider other people and you made the decision together that this is the best option for you guys.  If it becomes unbearable (I really don't get why this is such a big deal for them, but ok) and it's in the budget, maybe humor them with some cake sampling to have a small cake made for the RD?

ring_pop

Sounds like they're just trying to use you to get some free cake...

Are they paying for the wedding? If no, you really don't have to waste your time and energy trying to justify every little decision to them. Just tell them that you've made the decision, checked it off your list, and have moved on to the next thing.

If they're paying, you should probably at least entertain their request to check out other vendors.

laurenclaire1386

Mom, it's a cake. Not that big a deal. I'm two years away from my wedding. Can we please talk about this in a year?

That's what I'd say.

sgervais88

My fiance and I are planning to pay for the wedding and reception. I have no idea why it's such a big deal either. If they want free cake, I'll bake them one lol.

I guess later on down the road I'll have to humor them. Oh well.

Brie2010

Shove some delicious cake in their mouths before they can complain.

cengle

Agree with PPs. If nothing else, tell them you will consider other places, and then when it comes down to it, say you like your place the best.
But where I'm from, tasting cake is free, so I would probably go cake-tasting anyway . 
I just really like cake.

salt78

My head hurts.

MyNameIsNot

I had several people volunteer to join me to go on cake tastings.  They probably just want to taste free cake.  It can't hurt to go do a couple of tastings and then tell them in the end that you've made your decision.  It sounds like you've got the time.

Hey, if I could do it all over again, I'd probably sample a few more just so people could go taste free cake. 

mandysmear

Tell us about your screen name....

KellyLovesJames

Make sure it's okay with the venue holding your reception.

A close friend of ours who bakes awesome cakes on the side offered to do our wedding cake for free.  Sadly, our venue has just informed me that because she is not inspected by the department of health they can't serve our cake to our guests.  Sad Times.

Now I'm off to find a bakery. 

FutureMrsTR

If I give you some cake will you stop asking questions until your at least a year closer to your wedding?

JessAndTrav

Here's a hint: don't discuss details with mom if she's going to be like this already. Wait until you're actually into the planning to discuss it with her. It'll save you dozens of headaches.

Here's another hint: lurk for a little while on this board. Read people's posts and understand people's personalities here before you get busy.

RaiKai

I don't think you need to worry about the wedding cake 2.5 years out. I especially don't think your family needs to worry about the wedding cake 2.5 years out. Why are you even discussing wedding cakes at this point?!

When it comes time, either do the cake tasting and have some free cake, or tell them this is the cake you and your FI want. End of story.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

We didn't sample other bakers either - we already knew who we wanted, FWIW. Easiest wedding decision we made!

sarah0725

Being a longer engagement person myself, I'll conter some of the "don't think about this now!" posts. I got a lot of that garglemesh when I first started coming around, but people pretty much leave me alone now. If you hang around and are calm and give good and witty responses to other people's posts, perhaps the non-patronizing gods will also visit you.

I will say now, though, that HOLY CRAP moms go nuts when you first get engaged. I navigated through about four months of two completely different brands of crazy before the two of them settled down and became normal again. For now, cultivating some "Great idea Mom! Now let's talk about something else!" is not a bad idea.

As for your specific issue, even if you know for sure you are going with your friend, take the moms to a bridal show or something, eat some free cake, and then say, "Gosh this is delicious, but not as good as my friend's cake!" Then explain how expensive wedding cake is. They'll probably get tired of bugging you about cake, and all you'll have gained is several thousand unnecessary calories.