Wedding Etiquette Forum

KPS

The last line of the honeymoon one made me laugh. I really do wonder about 20 times a day how stupid people function. It's amazing how dumb you can be and still have a perfectly decent life.

But the sex one is sad. Whoever posted that, I want to hug you and hope that if this was some one-off thing you can discuss with your H why that's NOT even remotely ok and that if it has roots in other behaviors you can figure out a way to get away from that creep.
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Re: KPS

  • That sex one is terrible.  I hope she can talk to her H as well and that it was a one-time, horrible mistake.  Because that kind of behavior is NOT acceptable.  At all.
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  • crfischecrfische member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited April 2011
    The hurricane one was funny. People are stupid.

    I agree about the sex one. That made me all sad.
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  • That honeymoon one was pretty spot on. I feel like that pretty much anytime I wander over to the HM board. I also wonder how people figure out how to use TK message boards when they clearly aren't internet savvy enough to be aquainted with how google works.
  • Dude, if H tried to have sex with me while I was sleeping he'd be sleeping outside in his truck from now on. That's freaking creepy. I'd feel so violated.
  • re: the sex one.  That's called rape.  I really hope whoever posted that can address it with her H, and get help if she needs it.


  • I'm curious about the sex one.  Was he sleeping too?  i ask this because an ex of mine was one of these "sleep sex" people.  He was definitely asleep--I'd wake him up and he'd feel really ashamed because he felt like he was violating me.

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  • Moneypenny, seriously?! He would start trying to have sex with you in his sleep? That is crazy. I didn't know people did that.
  • That sex one is sad. H has play threatened it before when I wouldn't give him any - key word PLAY. I wanna hug you.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kps-9?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2d6ba240-16ee-4f76-89d3-9e361177a1afPost:86ed5f21-5276-4b10-886c-e03a706021b4">Re: KPS</a>:
    [QUOTE]Moneypenny, seriously?! He would start trying to have sex with you in his sleep? That is crazy. I didn't know people did that.
    Posted by emilyinchile[/QUOTE]

    It was freaky.  It happened several times in one year and then never again.  It was also really strange because it was entirely different than when he was awake--like having sex with a totally different person.

    <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleep_sex" rel='nofollow'>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleep_sex</a>
  • I can't even read the hurricane one.

    Look people, if you're going to make a KPS, please make it legible. 
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  • I don't mean to sound callous, because I really feel for the sleep sex poster. But I cannot imagine being so asleep that I wouldn't notice H banging me like, immediately. Unless I was on some serious sleep meds or something, I just can't imagine not waking up before he was already, ya know, in there.
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  • LC, I honestly don't know. Because I'll wake up way squished on the edge of the bed with H cuddling me, so clearly that means that I slept through him pushing me over there. I would like to think that I'd wake up if that were going on, but since it's never happened I don't know what my limit is of what I can sleep through.
  • SnippylynnSnippylynn member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment First Anniversary
    edited April 2011
    Iiiiiiii'm not totally ready to jump on the rape wagon with the sleep sex thing.  I mean, it could definitely be a half/fully asleep thing.  What I am wondering, is why she didn't shove him or wake his ass up or cause some sort of scene when she was being diddled involuntarily like that.

    ETA:  I feel like there's a lot of info left out of that which is pertinent to being up in arms or not.
  • Snippy - agreed.  If he was not concious, it's not rape.  I had not thought of that as an option.  So from that perspective, a lot of detail is missing.  And you can wonder why the poster didn't try harder to remove her H, but that really has no bearing on how violated the poster was.

    If he was concious, I think it was rape.  But if the issue is the use of the word, I can back off of that.  Because regardless, its a horrible thing.
  • Either way, I totally understand that she will feel horrible.  When it first happened to me, I didn't realize he was asleep for a few seconds and it was terrible.  Then I woke his ass up by pushing him off of me.

    I can't believe I said these things on here.  This is something I never talk about.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kps-9?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2d6ba240-16ee-4f76-89d3-9e361177a1afPost:febbc382-6e73-4335-920c-3c4627a70741">Re: KPS</a>:
    [QUOTE]I can't even read the hurricane one. Look people, if you're going to make a KPS, please make it legible. 
    Posted by RobotLegs[/QUOTE]

    I had to click on it and make it bigger so I could read it. I  was hoping it was a good one so that my time-wasting was not in vain.

    And I need a follow up KPS to the sex one. I'm with LC, I have no idea how I, or anyone else, would be able to sleep through that.
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  • H and I fool around in our sleep all the time.  Well maybe ALL the time is an exaggeration.  At least once a month it happens.  But, penetration doesn't happen while we're asleep.  It's not at all what the KPS has described though.  

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  • I have mixed feelings regarding the sleeping through it thing. I don't personally understand it because I'm such a light sleeper FI can just say my name and I'll wake up. However, I practically have to jump on top of him and smack him around to wake him up in the morning. I guess some people are just really deep sleepers?
  • I don't think the issue is if she slept through it.  Some people are heavy sleepers.  This could happen to me (not that Fi would, but I can sleep through a lot).  This is something horrible that happened to her, even if he was asleep.  They need to talk about it.  If he was asleep he might not have known she was pulling away.  It is still an issue, just a different one. 
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  • H gropes me in his sleep.  I push him off and make fun of him the next day.
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  • I'm with LC, I don't know how you could be asleep that far into it unless there was absolutely no attempt at foreplay.  H will sometimes wake me up by rubbing my back or something, but I am always awake enough before it goes that far to tell him to leave me alone, or make the decision to *ahem* go along for the ride.

    Andplusalso - I don't go to bed without panties on unless I'm giving H a sign that it's okay to wake me up.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kps-9?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2d6ba240-16ee-4f76-89d3-9e361177a1afPost:bdab6136-16f0-4a1a-ae6c-36feb02d3c4b">Re: KPS</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>I don't think the issue is if she slept through it. </strong> Some people are heavy sleepers.  This could happen to me (not that Fi would, but I can sleep through a lot).  This is something horrible that happened to her, even if he was asleep.  They need to talk about it.  If he was asleep he might not have known she was pulling away.  It is still an issue, just a different one. 
    Posted by KatyRoseM[/QUOTE]

    I don't think anyone's arguing that that is the issue. We're just discussing whether or not it would be possible for us.
  • Ok, sorry.  It seemed like the conversation was going down the "I don't believe you" path.

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  • I kind of think it's hot to wake up with H all over me, but I've TOLD him this, so he knows he has my permission.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kps-9?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2d6ba240-16ee-4f76-89d3-9e361177a1afPost:71646a8a-b40e-43a6-9ef3-ab5b5aba82c9">Re: KPS</a>:
    [QUOTE]H gropes me in his sleep.  I push him off and make fun of him the next day.
    Posted by RobotLegs[/QUOTE]

    H does this too. It wakes me up and pisses me off so I smack him lol. I'm not nice enough to wait until the next day.
  • Sometimes when I tell H he's not getting any that night, he'll say "fine, I'm sticking it in your butt while you're asleep then." - but I know he'd never do it. And if for some strange reason he did, I'm pretty sure I'd realize it. I'm way over sensitive when it comes to that region lol - even in my sleep.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kps-9?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2d6ba240-16ee-4f76-89d3-9e361177a1afPost:1293e8ca-26a3-4a45-9b4e-90e75c664f28">KPS</a>:
    [QUOTE] But the sex one is sad. Whoever posted that, I want to hug you and hope that if this was some one-off thing you can discuss with your H why that's NOT even remotely ok and that if it has roots in other behaviors you can figure out a way to get away from that creep.
    Posted by emilyinchile[/QUOTE]

    <div>I was confused and couldn't think of which one you meant until I figured out it was the rape KPS.  Yeah um run whoever posted that - "sex" with you unconscious wife isn't "sex" at all.</div>
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kps-9?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2d6ba240-16ee-4f76-89d3-9e361177a1afPost:30f66f5a-02b1-41cf-b80a-6534d0740a1f">Re: KPS</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm with LC, I don't know how you could be asleep that far into it unless there was absolutely no attempt at foreplay.  H will sometimes wake me up by rubbing my back or something, but I am always awake enough before it goes that far to tell him to leave me alone, or make the decision to *ahem* go along for the ride. <strong>Andplusalso - I don't go to bed without panties on unless I'm giving H a sign that it's okay to wake me up.</strong>
    Posted by Loopyseven[/QUOTE]
    WORD.
  • TMI, because it's on topic. H likes to do it first thing in the AM. I don't. I'm totally guilty of being like "uh, yeah go ahead, as long as you don't care if I just lay here."
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  • I've heard of the sleep sex thing and hopefully(?) that's the problem.  Not a great problem to have, but better than a husband who tries to rape you while you're sleeping.
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