Do I have to invite 20-somethings still living with parents?

abl13

I am in the process of finalizing our guest list in order to send save the dates. Both sets of parents (we are all splitting the cost) have couples on the list who have kids that are in their mid-20's that still live at home. They are friends of our parents, not relatives. As a result, our parents are insisting that the kids receive an invite as well. These are people that my fiance and I would consider acquaintances that we were either friends with when we were very young but are not in contact now or we know them from high school but were not friends. My fiance and I have not yet met one of the people in question. With dates, it would be an additional 8 people.

I am not worried about the cost of the additional people, but I feel awkward extending an invite to people that are our age that we are not close with or do not know. I don't want to be introduced to people for the first time (except my fiance's extended family) at my wedding or have to fake happiness to see a person at my wedding that I wasn't a huge fan of in high school. I also feel that it would be boring for them come to a wedding where the only people they really know are their parents. I would not feel slighted if they had a wedding and invited my parents but not me.
 
So should I just suck it up and invite them and hope that they don't come? Does etiquette state that I have to? It's not a hill I am willing to die on, but I am interested to see if there are suggestions for convincing our parents that these 8 people do not have to be there. I have already mentioned to my mom that I don't want to invite them, and she thinks that we "have" to but couldn't state any reason why.

achiduck

How many people are we talking about here? If it was like 3 or 4 I would probably just let it fly but if it's 10 people then I'd push to keep them off the list. Remember, however, that since both sets of parents are paying they each get a say in the list.

Edit: reading failure. For 8 people I would probably explain to your sets of parents why you and your FI don't want them there. Good luck!

itzMS

I've received "obligatory" invitations like this in my late teens to early 20's. The situations were usually my parents' friends' kid was getting married.

The wedding was of no interest to me, but I was obligated to attend and it sucked because I knew no one. I'm sure your aquaintances will be of a similar mindset.

Despite all of this, I still think you should invite them, "just because", since you do not have a strong opinion on it either way.

emeejeeayen

If the situation were reversed, would you want to be invited? I think that's how you should view the issue. 

s-aries8990

Would you be inviting them if you weren't inviting their parents? No? Then don't worry about it.  I'm sure that the 20-somethings wouldn't want a pity invite, they'd want the house to themselves! That's the boat i'm in lol

achiduck

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_do-i-have-to-invite-20-somethings-still-living-with-parents?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:2da8f351-deff-47ef-83b4-d3f656546665Post:0c90312a-1602-4fad-b53e-7e7b2ccf38a8">Re: Do I have to invite 20-somethings still living with parents?</a>:
[QUOTE]Would you be inviting them if you weren't inviting their parents? No? Then don't worry about it.  <strong>I'm sure that the 20-somethings wouldn't want a pity invite, they'd want the house to themselves!</strong> That's the boat i'm in lol
Posted by sydaries[/QUOTE]

This. When I was 20 and in unviersity and still living at home any time I could get the house to myself was amazing.

Jen4948

When I was in my 20s I got an invitation to a wedding solely because my parents and brother were also invited and I'm sure it was a pity invitation.  I didn't enjoy myself.  I wasn't living with my parents then, but I did live nearby.

No, you don't need to invite adults living at home.

NOLAbridealmost

You definitely don't have to invite adults living at home.

Treat them as ANY OTHER potential guest on your parent's lists though.  If each set of parents gets to invite 40 people and they want the adult kids to be part of their 40, I'd say that's well within their rights because they're paying. 

KLS123

wow it's like your reading my mind right now OP. I am in the exact same situation. I have told my mom that since I am not even inviting people that I know a lot better than those adult-children of her friends (that also went to high school with me and I was not fond of) then it would be strange to invite them and their guests. She agrees it's weird but then still insists we extend the invite...we agreed to table the issue untill further down the line and not invite them to showers until we have agreed on how to handle.