who pays for dinner the night before?

tripgrl

My fiances divorced parents and significant others are traveling to our out of State wedding. They have offered no money  to help us at all.  We and my  parents are paying for everything. We will already be married prior to the reception. I feel like we need to have a small dinner with his parents ,my parents , brother and sister in law the night before.Im assumming my fiance and I  should pay for everyones dinner?

Jen4948

Yes.

AJuliaNJ

Whoever offers to host it, pays. So, unless someone else steps forward, that's you. If it's important to you, just set one up. Perhaps someone will pay for it spur of the moment, but I would plan to have the funds regardless.

daveANDkristen

I'm confused about the being married before the reception part... OP please clarify. It is no one's responsibility to pay for your wedding, so their lack of financial contribution should not play into this. Are you having a rehearsal? If so, the dinner following that needs to be hosted. If this is just a dinner the night before, just tell them you, FI, and your immediate family will be grabbing dinner at whatever restaurant the night before if they want to join you.

freebread03

What is a reception only wedding? Do you mean that you are having a private ceremony the day prior with just your family, and then a party the next day to celebrate with a larger group?

AJuliaNJ

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_who-pays-for-dinner-the-night-before?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:2e41cb0f-2d7e-4e1a-8b7f-43ec644ee77aPost:74c3ace4-1cdf-4d81-8279-96b3ad2d0505">Re: who pays for dinner the night before?</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks, thats pretty much what I thought. Do we need to buy them all corsages and boutineers too for a reception only wedding?
Posted by tripgrl[/QUOTE]

You don't have to, but I think it's expected.

daveANDkristen

You don't need to pay for any travel or accommodations for his family or anyone else except yourselves. But unless your FI has a bad relationship with his parents, you should extend the same courtesies as you are to your own, such as bouts or corsages, and paying for dinner.

NOLAbridealmost

You don't need to have a dinner the night before a "celebration of your prior wedding" the same way that most couples have a rehearsal dinner before an actual wedding. There's nothing to rehearse in your case. You can still eat a nice meal with close relatives and friends.....no law against that. Just follow the same etiquette you normally would if you asked someone to a restaurant. If you invite anyone to a dinner celebration with you, you ought to offer to pick up the whole tab but I could see how your parents or his parents might offer to split it or pick it up....just as they might at any dinner at a restaurant. You don't need to pay for their other travel expenses.

NOLAbridealmost

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_who-pays-for-dinner-the-night-before?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:2e41cb0f-2d7e-4e1a-8b7f-43ec644ee77aPost:8cb58474-46a6-42ef-94b1-a2830cd103ad">who pays for dinner the night before?</a>:
[QUOTE]My fiances divorced parents and significant others are traveling to our out of State wedding. They have offered no money  to help us at all.  We and my  parents are paying for everything. We will already be married prior to the reception. I feel like we need to have a small dinner with his parents ,my parents , brother and sister in law the night before.Im assumming my fiance and I  should pay for everyones dinne r?
Posted by tripgrl[/QUOTE]

lyndausvi

So basically your IL are coming in the night before and you would like to go out to dinner with them.     I would ask them out to dinner and expect to pay.  Although my dad would more than likely pick up the tab because that is what he does   We play the "who can give the card to the waitstaff first" game.

lyndausvi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_who-pays-for-dinner-the-night-before?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:2e41cb0f-2d7e-4e1a-8b7f-43ec644ee77aPost:dd116dfd-64db-4fea-9f14-ca465fa28264">Re: who pays for dinner the night before?</a>:
[QUOTE]I cannot follow this thread at all. It makes no sense.
Posted by scribe95[/QUOTE]

The OP is way over-thinking this.    Her in-laws are flying into town for a party.  She somehow thinks the night before the party should treated like an RD.  Since RD are traditionally paid for by the groom's family I guess she thinks they should pay or something.   Forget the fact that no one other than the couple is obligated to pay the RD.  But this is NOT and RD.  There is no rehearsal or even a wedding the next day.   

This is just a normal dinner with the parents who are coming in from OOT.    Basically it would be like me posting a question like "hey I'm having dinner with  my parents next week, who should pay?"