Boss(es) getting invites?

lisabeats

I got engaged 1 week before FI and I moved across the country and both started new jobs. The wedding is in my hometown, about 22 hours away. I will have been at my new job for just under 10 months when the wedding finally comes. I really like my immediate "supervisor" and a good number of my coworkers, but I have ZERO expectation of them coming so far away. I wasn't planning on inviting any of them, because of the distance mainly. The only person I am inviting from work is a friend from graduate school, who also helped me get the job I'm currently in. However, I doubt he will make the journey either.

Someone suggested sending an invite to my supervisor and maybe our COO just to be polite. However, I feel like since I know they won't come, this just comes off as a request for gifts. I clearly don't want to send this message! As it is, work is already throwing me a shower later this summer (I really wanted to turn it down but I didn't want to make another bride feel uncomfortable for accepting). I already feel awkward enough that some people I don't know very well will be "voluntold" to contribute towards a gift, but again I didn't want to be rude in rejecting it.

So- bottom line- should I send an invite to my boss? My COO? Is it more rude not to, or more rude to potentially make them seem obligated towards a gift?

itzMS

Neither option is "rude". Only you know your relationship with them. You'd obviously have to ask for their home address to send the invitation and invite their SOs/Spouses as well.

In my scenario, I do not have a personal relationship with any of my bosses or coworkers, so I didn't invite any. My DH is very close (mentor type relationships) with his bosses and hangs out with his coworkers outside of work. So he invited them.

It's really a case-by-case basis.

HeatherSP13

I got engaged last April.  I changed locations with same company last summer.  I had been at previous location for 4 years.  I'm inviting both immediate supervisors.  I'm not expecting current supervisor to come.  Somebody from our department has to be at store at all time.  I am expecting supervisor from last location to come.  

arrippa

I am only planning on inviting one coworker to my wedding and I have been at my company for six years. That one coworker is someone who I have socialized with outside my company.  The last thing I want my wedding to look like is a gift grab.

nikole712

I asked a few married co-workers what they did in the situation as I am in the process of finalizing my guest list. They invited their bosses and department heads. One did not and her boss was offended. I decided that I will invite my immediate boss and our department head. If they decide to come, great, if not, that is fine too. I just did not want to offend anyone!

AddieCake

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bosses-getting-invites?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2e434fc1-c6d7-4cdc-ab25-ad4993a074b8Post:523d49fb-f6a0-4682-966d-197fe049a31d">Re: Boss(es) getting invites?</a>:
[QUOTE]I have to be honest, if I were your boss and got an invite for an OOT from a former employee that had worked for me for such a short time, I would definitely feel it was a gift grab.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

<div>This. </div>

lisabeats

Thank you, I agree with most that it would seem like a gift-grab more than anything.

To clarify, it would have only been to my current boss, as I'm still a current employee.

However, I'm not going to send them one, because it makes me feel too uncomfortable for sure. I just wanted to make sure that sending your boss an invite was a "thing" I wasn't aware of. Thanks for your input ladies!

Jessa617

I wanted to invite my supervisor but I am close with everybody at work and I felt if I invited one, I'd have to invite all. I would hate for another co-worker to find out I invited one person but not anybody else. That would make for an awkward lunch hour.

ETA- So in the end I didn't invite anyone from work.

MuppetOverlord

I am inviting my boss, my previous boss, the president of my company, and a number of coworkers. They are part of my family. I've worked with them for 9 years and we are all very close and do a lot of family functions together.

You invite whoever you feel close to and want to be part of your wedding

lenasilva00

I've been at my job for 8 years and I'm only inviting two co-workers; one is my MOH and the other is a very good friend... both people I socialize with on a personal level.

My boss did make mention of the wedding/invites and I just told him it's a very small wedding with only family and few very close friends.  Kind of awkward...