Invite people you haven't talked to in years?

jmpwee

We are trying hard to cut our guest list. We've run into a gray area: do we remove people we have not spoken to in a decade? They were family friends of my parents when I was in grade school. I bet we haven't even seen them since 2000. I lean toward 'no' but what holds me back is we were invited to their daugthers' weddings (again, when I was in junior high). Please help!!!

[Deleted User]

If you have not spoken to them in such a long time, I don't see why you should feel obligated to include them, especially if you are making cuts to your guest list.  It may also be perceived as gift grabby if you have had a no contact with them and send them a random invitation.

On the flip side, if your parents are contributing financially to the wedding and they would like these people invited, then you should include them at their request.

jmpwee

Thank you!!

libby2483

We were in a similar situation with some of my parents' friends.  My parents wanted us to invite certain family friends, even though I hadn't seen some of them in quite a few years and my H had never met them.  However, my parents are still close with these family friends, and I grew up attending their kids' weddings.  Since my parents paid for my entire wedding, I didn't have a problem including these people.  As it turns out, every single one of them came, and it was actually really nice to catch up with them at the wedding.  

However, this is just my experience.  If your parents are paying (and want these people there), I do think they should get a say, and you should accommodate these people to the best of your ability.  However, if you and your FI are paying, and you have no desire to invite these people, you certainly don't need to.

libby2483

Also, another thing you can do is send wedding announcements or put a wedding/engagement announcement in the paper if you aren't able/willing to invite all of these people.  Lots of my grandmother's and parents' friends from my hometown, and people like my old 4-H leaders (that weren't invited to the wedding), told my parents that they saw our announcement in the paper and were so happy for us.