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In June we sent out save the dates for our destination wedding (5000 miles away). One was sent out to a male friend of mine. 

His sister, whom I also know but haven't had contact with in over 13 years, thought the save the date was also meant for her (even though the enveloppe was addressed to her brother and his girlfriend only). 

Her brother asked me if she was invited and I told him, unfortunately not. I assumed he told her that and didn't think about it again untill my mother (I live in a different country, the brother, sister and my family all live in the same country) mentioned that the only thing she talks about is going to our wedding.

Long story short, my brother decided to handle it (I tried to call her a couple of times) and last saturday, when she brought up how excited she is about going to the wedding, my brother asked her 'Did you call or e-mail my sister to make sure you are invited?' 

She responded with ' I know I'm not invited but I am going anyhow'. 
So my brother said ' Well I'm sorry but it doesn't work like that, you can't go to a wedding uninvited.'. 
To which she replied 'Maybe I won't go to the wedding then but I will ben going to the destination at the same time as you guys.'

My FH is furious and thinks she is extremely rude and is impossing herself.
I feel as if she is trying to put FH and me on the spot. We are all going for 2 weeks. That means hanging out with her and her husband (she got married two years ago and I wasn't invited, not strange at all though since we haven't seen or heard from each other in 13 years). We have planned all sorts of things to do with our guests and I am sure that she will tag along. Which is truly no problem for me (although i'd rather have a good time with only people I'm really close with) however, I think I will feel rather akward, seeing her on a daily basis but not inviting her to the wedding.

What is the wedding etiquette when it comes to this? And what are your opions? Are FH and I overexaggerating? Is there any way I can let her know that FH & I were just hoping to have two weeks of vacation with only people we are close with (I know I can't forbid her to come Smile).

At one point I just wanted to invite her anyhow, just to keep things from turning nasty but my FH absolutely refuses this. He does not want people he doesn't know at the wedding and he certainly won't pay $300 for them. Help?
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