Wedding Etiquette Forum

I Was Rude...But I Was Backed Into A Corner!

First of all, I KNOW I was in the wrong. It seems like once you're a bride, you have to be the most polite person EVER and follow every rule under the sun (including letting your mother do whatever she wants to your wedding if she's paying, sending thank yous when people show up and eat your food but don't even give you a card, etc. etc.), and I'm having a hard time learning all of this. So, please go easy on me, I've already beaten myself up about it--I just need to know what to say the next time this happens.

I was leaving work and someone I USED to work with stopped me and said "I BETTER BE GETTING AN INVITE." First of all, I don't even work with her anymore. She KNOWS we are having a hard time paying for the wedding, because before I even got engaged, we used to talk about how big my wedding would be, and how we just don't have the money and I don't know how we'd invite everyone. But, she forgot that, apparently, and invited herself. So, I said "Um, yes, yes, you're on the invite list." Which is true, but I was hoping she was on the "if we have room" list. NOW, she's on the for real list, since I said it. So I know I did this to myself.

THEN, she goes "CAN I BRING MY KID?"

I was so shocked, I just said, "no." I'm sorry, I know that was wrong, but what could I have done? She was yelling at me from across the street, and I was crossing the street, as a car was coming, so, I had to keep it short, with a "no," otherwise, I was going to get run down at 11:30 by a car. 

I guess I'm hoping she just doesn't come.

Everyone says I'm not allowed to put "no children" but it seems like around here (WV), people just bring them anyway, even though this is going to be a VERY (for me) expensive wedding. My mom is pressuring me to put "adult only reception" on the invites, but I keep telling her I can't, that everyone keeps saying how that is a huge rude thing to do. I even copied and pasted FAQ's from here to her email, and since my mom is paying, I have to let her put it on the invites (see above, where I can't have a say if I'm not paying).

VERY frustrated. Also, I'm running a marathon on Sunday, so maybe that's why I feel like crying over this.
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