Wedding Etiquette Forum

working a wedding... gift?

I'm bartending my friend's upcoming wedding.  She technically hired me (I'm an experienced bartender and she's paying me), but we're still friends.  Just wondering what peoples' opinions are on buying a gift if you are working a wedding.

My wedding photographer friend says she generally just gives a card.  I see nothing wrong with that, especially when she gives our friends a discount. 

Re: working a wedding... gift?

  • Also, I wouldn't have been invited had I not been hired to be the bartender. 

    And, I did buy a small gift, so I'm really just interested in what people think, in the even this comes up again.

  • You do not need an invitation to give a gift.  If she's a friend, you're happy for her, and you want to send her a gift, then by all means, go ahead.  But, you're absolutely not required to.

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  • I would also go with a small token gift. 
  • I bartended a wedding, paid, as a favor to family of a friend.
    I did not give her a gift.
    She asked me to put out a tip jar, and I refused.
    My gift was not making her guests feel uncomfortable.
    I don't think you NEED to give a gift to a wedding you are working.

    Consider what you would do if you weren't invited, and you weren't working.  Do that.

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  • Since you're a vendor & wouldn't be invited otherwise, not required at all.  It's very nice of you to do so though.
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