not dying on wedding invite wording hill......is what I have a huge faux pas/side eye worthy?

SB1512

So, a while back I had some invite wording "drama" with the FIL's.  My mom, all of a sudden ,is all, I don't want to offend your FIL's, lets try to incorporate some of their changes.  Despite both parents names being listed, my mom is now agreeing with FIL's to not have mine and FI's last names listed.  So, to avoid confusion I have my parents names, his parents names, request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their daughter and son followed by mine first and middle name and FI's first and middle name.........rest of information.  FIL's wanted "of their children" and that is a hill I died on, haha.  Both sets of parents also think that saying "half past six o'clock" sounds better than half after six o'clock. 

So, I'm not fighting back on these things, and I know they break traditional wording, but is anyone going to side eye what I've written?

jesslamb830

No, I don't think so that is exactly how mine are worded.  I have got nothing but compliments on the invitations (oh a spelling error that all my proof-readers and myself missed ooops)

misssunshine17

I wouldn't care about the time, but I think it's absolutely ridiculous that YOU are getting married and YOUR name won't be in the invite. What about your friends that don't know your parents' names? Do you all have the same last name?

ETA: reading fail- so your name IS on the invite? Then I think it's fine.

Meghannsix

I think not having your actual name is all kinds of confusing, why did your FIL's have drama with it?  The time thing? Eh, I'm not concerned about.

TKzilla

I have to agree with the parents, I think "half past six" sounds better than "half after six".

itzMS

So you have:

Mr and Mrs John Bridesparents
&
Mr and Mrs James Groomsparents

Request the honor of your presence at the marriage of
their daughter and son

Brides First Brides Middle
and
Grooms First Grooms Middle

Sorry...that seems really weird. I really think you should put "at the marriage of their children"

SB1512

Mine and FI's names are are invite, but first and middle only.  Yes we both have the same last names as our parents.

SB1512

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-dying-on-wedding-invite-wording-hillis-what-i-have-a-huge-faux-passide-eye-worthy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:33c8c385-9b4e-4170-a038-1dd738e89de1Post:7fa2d95e-a276-4e0a-89cc-5834e317b7cc">Re: not dying on wedding invite wording hill......is what I have a huge faux pas/side eye worthy?</a>:
[QUOTE]So you have: Mr and Mrs John Bridesparents & Mr and Mrs James Groomsparents Request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their daughter and son Brides First Brides Middle and Grooms First Grooms Middle Sorry...that seems really weird. I really think you should put "at the marriage of their children"
Posted by itzMS[/QUOTE]

No.  We are not children.  Children do not get married, adults do.  I am dying on that hill.  So it's either "their daughter and son" or just "at the marriage of" followed by our names

Maggie0829

What about...

Mr. and Mrs. John Bridesparents

Request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their daughter

Bride name

to

Groom name

son of Mr. and Mrs. Jack Groomsparents.

itzMS

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-dying-on-wedding-invite-wording-hillis-what-i-have-a-huge-faux-passide-eye-worthy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:33c8c385-9b4e-4170-a038-1dd738e89de1Post:6476f6b0-9598-47ee-a873-bc72f47154ac">Re: not dying on wedding invite wording hill......is what I have a huge faux pas/side eye worthy?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: not dying on wedding invite wording hill......is what I have a huge faux pas/side eye worthy? : No.  We are not children.  Children do not get married, adults do.  I am dying on that hill.  So it's either "their daughter and son" or just "at the marriage of" followed by our names
Posted by SB1512[/QUOTE]

But your parents are paying for your wedding...so that doesn't seem so "adult" to me. *zing*

The traditional etiquette is if both sets of your parents are hosting, the wording is "At the marriage of their children"

ETA: Now if your parents, in fact, are not hosting your wedding, you should just use

<div align="center"><strong>Together with their families
Jane Ann Smith
and
Christopher John Jones

Request the pleasure of your company...
</strong>
Problem solved, and you won't have to worry about being a "child" of your parents. Which you are, so IDK what your problem is...but anyways....</div>

SB1512

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-dying-on-wedding-invite-wording-hillis-what-i-have-a-huge-faux-passide-eye-worthy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:33c8c385-9b4e-4170-a038-1dd738e89de1Post:10165589-d9f5-4719-849a-5fd406170921">Re: not dying on wedding invite wording hill......is what I have a huge faux pas/side eye worthy?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: not dying on wedding invite wording hill......is what I have a huge faux pas/side eye worthy? : <strong>But your parents are paying for your wedding...so that doesn't seem so "adult" to me. *zing* </strong>The traditional etiquette is if both sets of your parents are hosting, the wording is "At the marriage of their children" ETA: Now if your parents, in fact, are not hosting your wedding, you should just use Together with their families Jane Ann Smith and Christopher John Jones Request the pleasure of your company... Problem solved, and you won't have to worry about being a "child" of your parents. Which you are, so IDK what your problem is...but anyways....
Posted by itzMS[/QUOTE]

Just because our parents are paying does not make us children or not adults.  FI and I were prepared to pay for the wedding we could afford.  Both of our parents graciously stepped in and offered to fund the wedding (mostly because they wanted more guests that FI and I could afford to properly host).  I don't think that makes us any less adult.

SB1512

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-dying-on-wedding-invite-wording-hillis-what-i-have-a-huge-faux-passide-eye-worthy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:33c8c385-9b4e-4170-a038-1dd738e89de1Post:9c270d41-e561-486e-923a-5f5d55423c8c">Re: not dying on wedding invite wording hill......is what I have a huge faux pas/side eye worthy?</a>:
[QUOTE]What about... Mr. and Mrs. John Bridesparents Request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their daughter Bride name to Groom name son of Mr. and Mrs. Jack Groomsparents.
Posted by Maggie0829[/QUOTE]

I don't want to do that without running it by FILs and I feel like they won't like that.  I pretty sure they want to be recognized as hosting along with my parents.  Ya know, F it.  Maybe I'll just do "at the marriage of" and use mine and FI's full names like was originially suggested.  If FIL's are going to be so offended that I didn't do it the way they suggested I really dont care.  It's just an invitation

krizzo17

I think we left out the "of their..." part, but we used our last names since my H has a different last name than his parents. So our invitation read:

Mr and Mrs X
Mr and Mrs Y
Request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of

Mary Jane X
and
Bobby John Z



ETA: Hopefully, the fact that I can't remember what my wedding invitation said (9 months later) helps you realize this is not a hill to die on. And I even have one framed in my kitchen...

SB1512

Ok it's settled.  I am pulling the trigger so it reads what everyone on here and the Emily Post website originally told me it should.  At the end of the day it's an invitation, and if one set of parents is upset that I follwed traditional wording I really really don't care anymore.

Mr. and Mrs. Brides Parents

and

Mr. and Mrs. Grooms Parents
request the pleasure of your company
at the marriage of
Brides First, Middle, Last name

and

Grooms First, Middle, Last name

Saturday, the twenty-ninth of June
two thousand thirteen

half past six o'clock

Venue information

 

I know it's supposed to be half after, but both parents said half past sounds better and I am inclined to agree on that.

NYCMercedes

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-dying-on-wedding-invite-wording-hillis-what-i-have-a-huge-faux-passide-eye-worthy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:33c8c385-9b4e-4170-a038-1dd738e89de1Post:0b983992-8f15-406d-b592-12e1ceca7738">Re: not dying on wedding invite wording hill......is what I have a huge faux pas/side eye worthy?</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok it's settled.  I am pulling the trigger so it reads what everyone on here and the Emily Post website originally told me it should.  At the end of the day it's an invitation, and if one set of parents is upset that I follwed traditional wording I really really don't care anymore. Mr. and Mrs. Brides Parents and Mr. and Mrs. Grooms Parents request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of Brides First, Middle, Last name and Grooms First, Middle, Last name Saturday, the twenty-ninth of June two thousand thirteen half past six o'clock Venue information  I know it's supposed to be half after, but both parents said half past sounds better and I am inclined to agree on that.
Posted by SB1512[/QUOTE]

Sounds lovely. Go for it.

itzMS

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-dying-on-wedding-invite-wording-hillis-what-i-have-a-huge-faux-passide-eye-worthy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:33c8c385-9b4e-4170-a038-1dd738e89de1Post:e2180b61-68d5-422f-8345-c11bd6610575">Re:not dying on wedding invite wording hill......is what I have a huge faux pas/side eye worthy?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:not dying on wedding invite wording hill......is what I have a huge faux pas/side eye worthy?: This to me reads like the two being married are siblings.
Posted by Sleeper2013[/QUOTE]

Ok. And the OP's original idea of "At the marriage of their daughter and son" didn't?

Anyways, OP, your new wording is fine. I'd still kind of like to know, for curiousity's sake, why you're so hung up on not using the word "children" and chose to die on that hill.

We're always the children of our parents, no matter what age we are.

harper0813

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-dying-on-wedding-invite-wording-hillis-what-i-have-a-huge-faux-passide-eye-worthy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:33c8c385-9b4e-4170-a038-1dd738e89de1Post:0b983992-8f15-406d-b592-12e1ceca7738">Re: not dying on wedding invite wording hill......is what I have a huge faux pas/side eye worthy?</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok it's settled.  I am pulling the trigger so it reads what everyone on here and the Emily Post website originally told me it should.  At the end of the day it's an invitation, and if one set of parents is upset that I follwed traditional wording I really really don't care anymore. Mr. and Mrs. Brides Parents and Mr. and Mrs. Grooms Parents request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of Brides First, Middle, Last name and Grooms First, Middle, Last name Saturday, the twenty-ninth of June two thousand thirteen half past six o'clock Venue information  I know it's supposed to be half after, but both parents said half past sounds better and I am inclined to agree on that.
Posted by SB1512[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Sounds perfect.</div><div>
</div><div>And just because I didn't get to say it earlier - I find it REALLY weird that your parents didn't want your names on the invitations. I would die on that hill, too.

</div>

QueerFemme

For what its worth, I can't stand the "children" language either. Son or daughter, fine. Child=juvenile in my mind.

SB1512

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-dying-on-wedding-invite-wording-hillis-what-i-have-a-huge-faux-passide-eye-worthy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:33c8c385-9b4e-4170-a038-1dd738e89de1Post:514a0f13-9262-463a-a8fd-c0a82a28a977">Re: not dying on wedding invite wording hill......is what I have a huge faux pas/side eye worthy?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: not dying on wedding invite wording hill......is what I have a huge faux pas/side eye worthy? : Sounds perfect. And just because I didn't get to say it earlier - I find it REALLY weird that your parents didn't want your names on the invitations. I would die on that hill, too.
Posted by zoberg[/QUOTE]

They did want our names on it......they just didn't see that it was necessary for us to have our LAST names on it because they all felt that the guests should know which person belonged to which set of parents.

SB1512

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-dying-on-wedding-invite-wording-hillis-what-i-have-a-huge-faux-passide-eye-worthy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:33c8c385-9b4e-4170-a038-1dd738e89de1Post:28d92b11-adf2-42c7-822a-f2538854efd9">Re:not dying on wedding invite wording hill......is what I have a huge faux pas/side eye worthy?</a>:
[QUOTE]For what its worth, I can't stand the "children" language either. Son or daughter, fine. Childjuvenile in my mind.
Posted by cmgilpin[/QUOTE]

<strong>THANK YOU!  </strong>Validation!  I am dying on that children phrase because way back when I first posted the invite wording with the "of their children" many on here told me to remove it because children don't get married, adults do.  Also FI and I are 30 and many on here said they would "side eye" seeing "children" if they knew how old the bride and groom are. 

Peledreamsofrain

itzMS, why the broad generalized hate for families that gift their children with a larger wedding than they could afford on their own?  It's so random to say that everyone who receives monetary gifts for the purpose of funding their wedding is 'immature'. 

AddieCake

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-dying-on-wedding-invite-wording-hillis-what-i-have-a-huge-faux-passide-eye-worthy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:33c8c385-9b4e-4170-a038-1dd738e89de1Post:10165589-d9f5-4719-849a-5fd406170921">Re: not dying on wedding invite wording hill......is what I have a huge faux pas/side eye worthy?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: not dying on wedding invite wording hill......is what I have a huge faux pas/side eye worthy? : But your parents are paying for your wedding...so that doesn't seem so "adult" to me. 
Posted by itzMS[/QUOTE]

<div>My father paid for my wedding, and I'm very much an adult. I get what you're saying, but I don't think it's fair to say that if someone's parents pay for their wedding they are not adults. I wanted to elope. My dad said that would break his heart and that he was happy to pay for the wedding. That certainly doesn't make me any less adult b/c I took him up on the offer. </div>

QueerFemme

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-dying-on-wedding-invite-wording-hillis-what-i-have-a-huge-faux-passide-eye-worthy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:33c8c385-9b4e-4170-a038-1dd738e89de1Post:119462a1-a32f-4072-8e5a-73914cfd38fd">Re:not dying on wedding invite wording hill......is what I have a huge faux pas/side eye worthy?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:not dying on wedding invite wording hill......is what I have a huge faux pas/side eye worthy? : THANK YOU!  Validation!  I am dying on that children phrase because way back when I first posted the invite wording with the "of their children" many on here told me to remove it because children don't get married, adults do.  Also FI and I are 30 and many on here said they would "side eye" seeing "children" if they knew how old the bride and groom are. 
Posted by SB1512[/QUOTE]

I mean... I wouldn't necessarily "side-eye" the "children" language... but, I would look at it and think either the kids haven't go of the apron strings, so to speak, or the parents aren't letting go of their "babies".  Either way, I think it's better left off of the invitation.

itzMS

It was a joke, hence the *zing*. I forget sarcasm doesn't translate on the Internet.

Anyways, I just thought it was weird that the OP was so obsessed with not being referred to as "child" or "children" (when this is so incredibly common on wedding invitations), but in contrast has has no issue with the parents footing the bill for the wedding.

ETA: As in, "Future in-laws, don't you dare call me a child on MY wedding invitation, but oh, go ahead and write this check out to the order of..."

Just seems contradictory, is all.

AddieCake

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-dying-on-wedding-invite-wording-hillis-what-i-have-a-huge-faux-passide-eye-worthy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:33c8c385-9b4e-4170-a038-1dd738e89de1Post:bb28174b-0e45-4d17-bf64-81017cf91aed">Re: not dying on wedding invite wording hill......is what I have a huge faux pas/side eye worthy?</a>:
[QUOTE]It was a joke, hence the *zing*. I forget sarcasm doesn't translate on the Internet. Anyways, I just thought it was weird that the OP was so obsessed with not being referred to as "child" or "children" (when this is so incredibly common on wedding invitations), but in contrast has has no issue with the parents footing the bill for the wedding.
Posted by itzMS[/QUOTE]

<div>Fair enough. That makes sense.  </div>

sparkles776

You are way overthinking this. No one is going to remember what your invitations said. And you are the children of your parents, so that is somewhat ridiculous to argue. Clearly people know you are not 10 year olds getting married.

SB1512

To be honest, we did have an issue with our parents footing the bill. FI and I wanted a very small, casual wedding. But apparently in his traditional Italian family that route was not acceptable and all of the extended family must be invited. Rather than turn down their money and open up a huge can of worms we did what we believed was the adult thing to do and compromised by accepting their offer to fund a larger wedding than we wanted/could afford.

SB1512

In Response to Re:not dying on wedding invite wording hill......is what I have a huge faux pas/side eye worthy?:[QUOTE]You are way overthinking this. No one is going to remember what your invitations said. And you are the children of your parents, so that is somewhat ridiculous to argue. Clearly people know you are not 10 year olds getting married. Posted by sparkles776[/QUOTE]

Well I guess I'm just confused because I had a lot of responses from regs in an older post telling me to remove of their children because it sounded juvenile and didnt present FI and I as adults.

gailpete

I think children is fine.  No matter how old you are, you will always be your parents children.  When I meet someone for the first time and they ask, "Do you have any children?", I don't answer,"No, I have one adult offspring.", I say "Yes, I have a daughter."

I don't think inclusion of the word in an invitation in any way implies that you are not a mature adult.

SB1512

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-dying-on-wedding-invite-wording-hillis-what-i-have-a-huge-faux-passide-eye-worthy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:33c8c385-9b4e-4170-a038-1dd738e89de1Post:f8cc51e1-238c-4aad-ae43-925f25fd0f27">Re: not dying on wedding invite wording hill......is what I have a huge faux pas/side eye worthy?</a>:
[QUOTE]I think children is fine.  No matter how old you are, you will always be your parents children.  When I meet someone for the first time and they ask, "Do you have any children?",<strong> I don't answer,"No, I have one adult offspring.", I say "Yes, I have a daughter." </strong>I don't think inclusion of the word in an invitation in any way implies that you are not a mature adult.
Posted by gailpete[/QUOTE]

Yes I understand saying I have an adult offspring is weird.  But you also didn't say yes I have one child.  You said I have a daughter.  I am perfectly fine with being referred to as someone's daughter or daughter-in-law.  I just dont' like being referred to as a child.  Maybe it's because I already look super young and am super short and get mistaken for a well dressed middle school kid on a regular basis that the whole children thing bothers me and I feel the need to reinforce that I am not a child but rather an adult  <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-smile.gif" border="0" alt="Smile" title="Smile" />

gailpete

I can certainly understand that sensitivity (I'm short and always looked young for my age, too).  When you get to be my age, you'll appreciate it .