People Sharing Wedding Website

[Deleted User]

So. I think I'm stuck. I sent Save The Dates to ONLY coworkers that I have an outside relationship with, and I sent them TO THEIR HOUSES. Because of the nature of our account, there are people I NEVER see. I invited almost everyone I have daily contact with, excluding a few new people that will probably get invites, but they didn't get Save The Dates because I don't yet have a relationship with them.

However, someone signed my guest book today that is NOT invited. I think someone shared the website with that person. I haven't shared the website on Facebook (this person is NOT on my Facebook to begin with), or ANYWHERE other than printed on the Save The Dates. 

My fault. I should have NOT sent Save The Dates to ANYONE I worked with, but these are my friends, and I thought they realized not everyone I work with will be invited.

So, do I have to invite everyone I work with now? For the record, some of these women are pretty vindictive, and I no longer have ANY contact with them due to my work schedule AND personal preferences (I choose not to accept their Facebook invites, I do not socialize with them outside of work, etc.).

We're talking about 22 people total, but only 10 got Save The Dates.

emeejeeayen

I would just ignore this as not receiving a save the date does not necessarily mean not receiving an invite. They should get the hint eventually, but I don't think this is even an issue that needs to be addressed right now. If they want to go out of their way to make it awkward let them be the ones to do that. Perhaps you could also have a conversation with those you did send a save the date to that you would prefer if they keep your wedding website information private as you were not able to include everyone in the office. 

Sassenach1743

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_people-sharing-wedding-website?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3495fbf3-f0a2-4115-bf04-d3d7ebb5d3f0Post:0423ce71-2f93-429c-a12a-ca69cdc2d6a8">People Sharing Wedding Website</a>:
[QUOTE]So. I think I'm stuck. I sent Save The Dates to ONLY coworkers that I have an outside relationship with, and I sent them TO THEIR HOUSES. Because of the nature of our account, there are people I NEVER see. <strong>I invited almost everyone I have daily contact with, excluding a few new people that will probably get invites, but they didn't get Save The Dates because I don't yet have a relationship with them.</strong> However, someone signed my guest book today that is NOT invited. I think someone shared the website with that person. I haven't shared the website on Facebook (this person is NOT on my Facebook to begin with), or ANYWHERE other than printed on the Save The Dates.  My fault. I should have NOT sent Save The Dates to ANYONE I worked with, but these are my friends, and I thought they realized not everyone I work with will be invited. So, do I have to invite everyone I work with now? For the record, some of these women are pretty vindictive, and I no longer have ANY contact with them due to my work schedule AND personal preferences (I choose not to accept their Facebook invites, I do not socialize with them outside of work, etc.). We're talking about 22 people total, but only 10 got Save The Dates.
Posted by Domino04[/QUOTE]

<div>I'm unclear on this. You sent Save the Dates to people that you're friends with outside of work, but there are a few people at work that you don't have outside friendships with who you are planning to invite but decided not to send them Save the Dates? </div><div>
</div><div>That doesn't make any sense. Did I read that right? </div><div>
</div><div>A Save the Date is a precursor to an invitation. Everyone who is on the invitation list should get a Save the Date, regardless of personal relationship status. And vice versa; if you send a Save the Date, then an invitation must follow. </div><div>
</div><div>You're either inviting these people or you're not. If it's too soon to tell, then I would suggest not inviting them. I'm not sure how big your guest list is, but I've had to stop adding to my list in order to keep in on budget and that meant that there was no room for "new" work friends, my FI and I had this very conversation.</div>

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_people-sharing-wedding-website?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3495fbf3-f0a2-4115-bf04-d3d7ebb5d3f0Post:e71a0011-88ab-4818-af29-a113fd3c555a">Re: People Sharing Wedding Website</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to People Sharing Wedding Website : I'm unclear on this. You sent Save the Dates to people that you're friends with outside of work, but there are a few people at work that you don't have outside friendships with who you are planning to invite but decided not to send them Save the Dates?  That doesn't make any sense. Did I read that right?  A Save the Date is a precursor to an invitation. <strong>Everyone who is on the invitation list should get a Save the Date, regardless of personal relationship status.</strong> And vice versa; if you send a Save the Date, then an invitation must follow.  You're either inviting these people or you're not. If it's too soon to tell, then I would suggest not inviting them. I'm not sure how big your guest list is, but I've had to stop adding to my list in order to keep in on budget and that meant that there was no room for "new" work friends, my FI and I had this very conversation.
Posted by brita722[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>You have it backwards. Everyone who gets a Save The Date gets an invitation. </div><div>
</div><div>Everyone that I work WITH and SEE on a regular basis got STDs except three people. Those three people are new at work. They did not get Save The Dates. They will get an invitation if they are still even working with me in 5 months. All the people I DO NOT EVER see or cross paths with are not invited. I had hoped to avoid them even knowing details, since I obviously can't talk details with them (never see them). But someone ELSE is talking for me.
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[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_people-sharing-wedding-website?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3495fbf3-f0a2-4115-bf04-d3d7ebb5d3f0Post:f276c53a-4bd8-44fa-be25-9a7663e82036">Re: People Sharing Wedding Website</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: People Sharing Wedding Website : This is completely and entirely incorrect. Everyone who gets a Save the Date must also get an invitation but not vice versa. Save the Dates are not necessary nor should they be sent to every single soul you plan to invite; stuff changes, guest lists change right up until invitations go out.  <strong>OP, you did the right thing by only sending them to those you are close wih and will definitely invite. </strong>  As for the random guest book signer, just ignore it and the individual will figure it out on their own.
Posted by KindaSparkly[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Thanks. I just think she signed the guestbook to be a biiitch, actually. She has made my life difficult in the past, but our schedules (thankfully) do not overlap at all now, and I haven't even seen her for 6 months. I can't understand WHY she would do it otherwise. Why would you do that on a private website that you were not given the address too? It's super awkward.

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GardenMaven

I agree with PP that you should just ignore it.  I also know that some people have passwords for their sites, but I am not sure that would work in this case, since someone gave the address info up.  

I did want to mention that I LOVE your siggy pic, Domino!  I have seen it several times now and it makes me smile every time.  :-)

Avion22

What did this person say in your online guestbook. "Can't wait till your wedding!" as if they expect to be invited, or just well wishes?  I don't think you need to assume that people who post on your guestbook are necessarily fishing for an invitation.  It could be that they, you know, just wanted to congratulate you.  

Also, unless your website is password protected and they somehow got the password from someone who got an STD, then they probalby just used google.  Wedding Websites are actually pretty easy to find.  

This isn't worth freaking out over.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_people-sharing-wedding-website?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3495fbf3-f0a2-4115-bf04-d3d7ebb5d3f0Post:1dced06d-5d58-4bf8-b795-ba73c51010cf">Re: People Sharing Wedding Website</a>:
[QUOTE]What did this person say in your online guestbook. "Can't wait till your wedding!" as if they expect to be invited, or just well wishes?  I don't think you need to assume that people who post on your guestbook are necessarily fishing for an invitation.  It could be that they, you know, just wanted to congratulate you.   Also, unless your website is password protected and they somehow got the password from someone who got an STD, then they probalby just used google.  Wedding Websites are actually pretty easy to find.   This isn't worth freaking out over.
Posted by Avion22[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>The person went through someone's desk to find the Save The Date, then walked around the room to everyone not invited and said "let's look at Domino's wedding website." </div><div>
</div><div>She is a psycho.</div><div>
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Avion22

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_people-sharing-wedding-website?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3495fbf3-f0a2-4115-bf04-d3d7ebb5d3f0Post:e292bb04-b0e2-4e1c-8d08-25e8ec600594">Re: People Sharing Wedding Website</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: People Sharing Wedding Website : The person went through someone's desk to find the Save The Date, then walked around the room to everyone not invited and said "let's look at Domino's wedding website."  She is a psycho.
Posted by Domino04[/QUOTE]

<div>Yeah, in that case, don't invite her, and let her figure it out.  That IS psycho.</div>

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_people-sharing-wedding-website?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3495fbf3-f0a2-4115-bf04-d3d7ebb5d3f0Post:169ad8c2-6de4-405b-8169-e413dbad4871">Re: People Sharing Wedding Website</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: People Sharing Wedding Website : Yeah, in that case, don't invite her, and let her figure it out.  That IS psycho.
Posted by Avion22[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>She's bragged about getting people fired before at previous jobs, and she's tried it with me. She LOOOOOVES drama...in her family...at work...She is the very definition of a shiiiiit-stirer. I don't get it. Just do your thing, and Imma do mine.</div><div>
</div><div>I mean, I wouldn't invite her ANYWAY, because of the way our shifts work. She wouldn't be able to come unless she took the day off, and I'd have to cover for her, and thus, not be able to go to my own wedding. So, if she starts her shiiiiit, which is likely to be "SHE IS NOT A TEAM PLAYER AND SHE IS PLAYING FAVORITES," that is my excuse. 

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[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_people-sharing-wedding-website?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3495fbf3-f0a2-4115-bf04-d3d7ebb5d3f0Post:a97f3611-ccbb-48d0-8306-052eb0d58b5e">Re: People Sharing Wedding Website</a>:
[QUOTE]I agree with PP that you should just ignore it.  I also know that some people have passwords for their sites, but I am not sure that would work in this case, since someone gave the address info up.   I did want to mention that I LOVE your siggy pic, Domino!  I have seen it several times now and it makes me smile every time.  :-)
Posted by GardenMaven[/QUOTE]

<div>Hey thanks. :) I wanted to change it to an engagement pic, but I love that cat, so he stays.</div>