Guest List Help

fluffiance

We are budgeting for a 200 person wedding and without even getting my moms guest list yet we have close to 300 people on the list.  I know we are going to be cutting some distant cousins from out of town off the list but where else do we cut?

Do I need to invite co-workers?  My bind is that I actually work in the banquet hall that I am getting married in so my co-workers will know a lot of whats goign on with my wedding.

Also what about old friends that I was very close with years ago, and I went to their weddings?

Also, are there certian people that you automatically allow to bring a guest?  Is it rude to not let certain people bring a guest?

Any advice would be appreciated!  Thanks!

AmeliaMarie

A rule of thumb that I found helpful was if it would be awkward to call and invite them over for dinner, they don't need to be invited.

Everyone who is engaged/in a long term relationship/ married should be allowed to bring that person.  After that it's up to you.

kikibaby

Lots of questions here, but generally, no you don't need to invite all of those people: co-workers, long lost friends, people who invited you to their weddings... invite who you can afford to feed and entertain.

The people you should allow to bring guests are those in established relationships (living together, engaged, long-term dating, etc).  It would be rude to invite those people without a guest.

betrothed123

Our rule of thumb was whether or not we had spoken with someone in the 6 months before invites went out.  If one of us hadn't spoken with you in the previous 6 months you weren't close enough to us to garner an invite to our very intimate wedding.  We also determined that if both of us didn't know someone they weren't going to be invited.

You are not obligated to invite coworkers, even if you are having your reception in the hall they work.  You are also not obligated to invite friends you haven't spoken to in forever.

SwedishChick2011

You don't need to invite distant cousins (unless you're close friends) or coworkers.  Since you work at the venue, your coworkers might not even want to go to the wedding because it will almost be like going to work.  That's how I feel about parties at my work on days off, anyway.  Also, you only have to allow people in long-term relationships to bring a guest. 

mwhitson14

Well without knowing your guest list and getting an idea of where that number is coming from, our rule was if we didn't know how to get in touch with the guest, they weren't invited. If your mom is paying, you need to sit down with her and talk to her about her list.

If you and your FI are paying, then your best bet might be to half the guest list, 100 for your and 100 for your FI. That's sorta what we did, except FI's list ended up being really small, so I took his leftovers

angiebear11

You should never feel obligated to send someone an invite. Only invite who you want there. If you say to yourself "If I don't invite person X, I'll be so sad" then person X gets in an invite, and if you say to yourself "If I don't invite person Y, I won't miss them" then person Y doesn't get an invite.

JessAndTrav

I didn't invite cousins that I barely know/have never met.

DH didn't invite coworkers.

If we really didn't talk to a person anymore, they weren't invited.

Basically it was just, "Would I be sad if they weren't there?"

Our GL was originally 400 people once our parents contiributed their people. It was far too many and I was not going to have a circus for a wedding. I actually had my MIL and FIL cut down their half of the list a whole lot and we cut down our half. We ended up inviting 278 people. It sounds bad, but thankfully only 190ish came to the reception, but I think it was somewhere around 240 that came to the actual ceremony.

As far as the 'and guest' goes, if they're in a long-term relationship, engaged, living with someone or married, then it's a definite yes. From there, use your discretion. Did you invite a friend from OOT that wouldn't typically receive an 'and guest' on the invite? If so, I'd probably give them one, so that they're not traveling alone.

I did that for a friend because we're in Texas and she was coming from Pennsylvania. I did NOT do this for my college friends that are BFF with each other that were coming from about an hour or so away.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

Don't give either set of parents free reign. If you are paying, tell them they have x-amount of invites they can assign. After that, oh well. That will help keep your mother from sending you a list of 125 people she MUST invite.