Okay, so everyone who gets a STD is invited but

chattychiqa

does everyone who is getting an invitation have to have a STD? Is that reciprocal?

GretchenLaRoux

Nope, STDs are not necessary, strictly speaking. It's nice to give people a heads up if they might need to travel, though.

staceycaine

No. And this is probably why we will only send STDs to those we MUST invite (immediate family, close friends, etc.). Coworkers or distant relatives will probably not get them. 

pzavecz

Nope.  Like PP' said, STD's aren't necessary.  We are only sending out STD's to OOT guests that we know FOR SURE we want to invite to our wedding.  We're only sending them out because most of our guests are OOT and they need time to plan to attend our wedding, i.e. arrange hotels, take time off work, etc.  Everyone local will just get an invite when invites normally go out.  They don't need as much notice as OOT guests.

chattychiqa

Perfect, thanks ladies! I'm thinking family, members of the WP and very close friends only....with extras for later just in case. :-)

Simply Fated

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_okay-everyone-gets-std-invited-but?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3544ac3b-34dd-424d-be46-5be7512a3796Post:88c8a9e8-083f-4958-a4b9-df6361da9b84">Re: Okay, so everyone who gets a STD is invited but</a>:
[QUOTE]Perfect, thanks ladies!

I'm thinking family, members of the WP and very close friends only....with extras for later just in case. :-)
Posted by chattychiqa[/QUOTE]


I think that's smart. This way, if you find out later you need to cut the list, it won't be a big deal because it's not like you told them to save the date.

chattychiqa

I have a friend who this happened to and she was deeply offended...with good reason.

Simply Fated

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_okay-everyone-gets-std-invited-but?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3544ac3b-34dd-424d-be46-5be7512a3796Post:09c830a5-7ddb-4edc-b2c8-5fe36f3bbc36">Re: Okay, so everyone who gets a STD is invited but</a>:
[QUOTE]I have a friend who this happened to and she was deeply offended...with good reason.
Posted by chattychiqa[/QUOTE]


I'd be, too. I mean, I'd have to take off from work, make travel plans, all to find out I didn't make the final cut? BS, man.

chattychiqa

It was a coworker (a pretty tight knit group). He told her to STD and kept harping for her to not take overtime that day only to not invite her...but other people (males) in their circle were invited and in the wedding. Douche. She gets my 1st STD.

RyansBelovedBride

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_okay-everyone-gets-std-invited-but?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3544ac3b-34dd-424d-be46-5be7512a3796Post:ce06d540-a62b-418c-b5f9-3848504c7d8d">Re: Okay, so everyone who gets a STD is invited but</a>:
[QUOTE]It was a coworker (a pretty tight knit group). He told her to STD and kept harping for her to not take overtime that day only to not invite her...but other people (males) in their circle were invited and in the wedding. Douche. She gets my 1st STD.
Posted by chattychiqa[/QUOTE]
 
Sheesh.

chattychiqa

I know, right?

Avion22

Just wanted to add that friends and relatives will talk about having received your STDs.  So if you are inviting, say, an OOT aunt and she gets an STD, and she tells your other aunt who lives in town (also invited, but didn't get an STD), then there could be confusion on hurt feelings.  

I think with most of us, there is a clear line between "definites" and "I'd like them to be there, but if I have to make cuts...." and these people usually aren't in the same social circles.    I would recommend sending STDs to all of your "definites" whether they live in town or out-of-town.

sweetcanadian1979

I only sent them to oot guests, not even my aunts in town, they all know they are invited, even the ones i haven't talked to in over 10 years, they won't come but for family unity & so no one hears about it they will be invited. No one has complained about not getting a std.

If someone in town complains you can just tell them you sent them to oot only as they have to make more plans than most.

I would send stds to everyone if you are having an unsual wedding, as say on a wednesday, sunday, friday etc vs the typical saturday people will expect.

kmmssg

This is why I think they are far less necessary than the industry wants you to believe.  So many times couples send those babies out before the budget is really nailed down in concrete and then we get posts like we had a couple of days ago from the bride who isn't inviting everyone who got an STD because she wants a taco truck more than she wants to celebrate with everyone she has already invited via STD.

I think they can really open a can of worms sometimes.

chattychiqa

I remember the taco truck post....

divadancer11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_okay-everyone-gets-std-invited-but?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3544ac3b-34dd-424d-be46-5be7512a3796Post:6f714111-64f7-4b5f-b149-71fa125affab">Re: Okay, so everyone who gets a STD is invited but</a>:
[QUOTE]This is why I think they are far less necessary than the industry wants you to believe.  So many times couples send those babies out before the budget is really nailed down in concrete and then we get posts like we had a couple of days ago from <strong>the bride who isn't inviting everyone who got an STD because she wants a taco truck more than she wants to celebrate with everyone she has already invited via STD</strong>. I think they can really open a can of worms sometimes.
Posted by kmmssg[/QUOTE]

Holy Crap....just read that one.....smh at how ignorant that is.....your budget is small to begin with but 1200 on a damn taco truck is important.....

chattychiqa

I mean not to disregard the awesomeness of taco trucks.... *grin*