Wedding Etiquette Forum
Options

XP: Who picks and pays for?

I'm clueless when it comes to this stuff.  How do we go about getting the Flower Girl and Ring Bearer's outfits?  Do I just pick something out, do the parents of the FG or RB and I go together to pick something out, do I pick several outfits myself and then tell them to pick the one they want, or do I just let the parents take care of it and I don't have much involvement?  Also, how far in advance do I need to do this?  My wedding is five months away.

I really have no idea how this typically works.  I'm not even sure where to get the outfits.  I guess we will get FG's outfit from David's Bridal, but I have no idea where to get a RB's outfit.  I also don't know who is supposed to pay for their outfits.  Is it like the bridesmaids, where they pay for their own dress?  To be honest, I don't care all that much what the FG and RB wear, because they will look adorable no matter what.  I'm more concerned with staying under the parents' budgets (if they are supposed to pay).  This is something I'm willing to give up control of and just get something the parents and children are happy with.

So if someone could give me some guidance of how I should go about this, it would be much appreciated.  In case it matters, our FG lives locally, within a half-hour drive from us, but our RB lives several states away (about an 8-hour drive), so there's no way I could meet up with RB and his parents.
Wedding Countdown Ticker

Re: XP: Who picks and pays for?

  • Options
    Their parents will pay for the outfit, but skip David's Bridal- way overpriced. They'll be having a ton of post- Easter sale's where I'm sure you could find something great at a department store. 

    Maybe email the FB's parents a couple options you like and say they can go from there. They can go to lots of places like TJ Maxx or Burlington to get great deals. 
  • Options
    We have 2 flower girls. I just asked their mom's what size they wear then I picked and purchased holiday dresses from Macy's during a Christmas sale. Traditionally, the parents pay for their outfits, but I bought these dresses when I saw them and they were $30 each. Then I asked for their moms to make sure they had silver shoes and white tights - which they both already had. 
  • Options
    Since you have 5 months, I'd wait until after Easter and have them buy Easter dresses on sale.  For your RB, I recommend ordering from tinytux.com.  My SIL was able to get a brand new tux for my RB for about $40.  I believe she then sold it on ebay afterwards.  I would not recommend having your RB tux rented with your FI, the cost of that tux will be almost the same as an adults.
  • Options
    What exactly is the RB supposed to wear?  Since my friend and her son (the RB) live so far away, would it be OK for me to just tell her to pick out whatever she wants him to wear and basically give up any involvement in the decision?
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Options


    My flower girl's mother passed away last year. Her Dad is our best man. I plan to take her to Macys or JC Penney to find a dress and I will pay for it. I hadn't thought about the after Easter sale....good plan. For my nephews, I will probably go with them and my sister to look for their outfits. My parents will pay for their outfits, but that isn't the traditional way to do it, my parents just want to.
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_xp-who-picks-and-pays-for?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:355446ac-18ef-4a95-8c0c-07dd8c8943fdPost:28990c81-bee0-4f6e-a0b5-1c559fe787ee">Re: XP: Who picks and pays for?</a>:
    [QUOTE]What exactly is the RB supposed to wear?  Since my friend and her son (the RB) live so far away, would it be OK for me to just tell her to pick out whatever she wants him to wear and basically give up any involvement in the decision?
    Posted by walgrrl[/QUOTE]

    We did both of our outfits from JCP after Easter.  Depending on what you want the RB to wear, you can find cute dress clothes at any dept store.  We wanted that since it would still be like $90 for a tux rental for him, and I wanted him to have something to wear after the wedding.  I think it's fine to give her the decision, but she may appreciate some direction on what your wedding party should look like.  I would google boys dress clothes and find some examples then leave it up to her.

    image
  • Options
    My RB had a tux with a long tie.  I recommended tinytux.com before, but I remember know that my SIL bought the tuxes (she also got one for her younger son), off of Amazon.  The RB tux came in too short, so she had to return it for the next size bigger and they gave her no problems.  Here is a pic of my RB and Jr BM.  And the RB's elephant, Eddie, who goes everywhere with him also had a tux on!


  • Options
    I just found my flowergirl dresses at Nordstroms for $42.  They're adorable, and match the lace in my dress.  The girls love them.  Don't limit yourself to traditional flowergirl dresses- look around at girls' formalwear.  PP have you covered with the boys.
    "I give you this ring as a symbol of my vow, and with all that I am, and all that I have, I honor you."image
    July 12, 2013
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_xp-who-picks-and-pays-for?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:355446ac-18ef-4a95-8c0c-07dd8c8943fdPost:28990c81-bee0-4f6e-a0b5-1c559fe787ee">Re: XP: Who picks and pays for?</a>:
    [QUOTE]What exactly is the RB supposed to wear?  Since my friend and her son (the RB) live so far away, would it be OK for me to just tell her to pick out whatever she wants him to wear and basically give up any involvement in the decision?
    Posted by walgrrl[/QUOTE]

    I don't think the ring bearer has to wear any specific type of clothing. He could wear a  little matching suit.  Our RB is autistic, so we are letting him where whatever he wants.  He is going through a superhero phase, so it's a good chance we will have a little Iron Man or Spiderman bring us our rings. It's all good though, I think it's super cute!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Options
    Oh! And check out The Children's Place for FG dresses! Found fine there and on sale they were only $11!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Options
    My mom made the FG's dress and RB's tie so the dress cost less than $20 for the material and notions.

    As for the RB, I think I told his mom just black pants and white shirt.

    I think paying for their outfits is a nice gesture but it's not required.  
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards