E-ring/w-band set -- too much together??

websterh

My fiance gave me an e-ring that is... let's just say it's really sparkly (great clarity/color -- not bad at all!).  I like it well enough on its own.  Problem is, when I add the matching wedding band with its own diamonds, it's just too much!!  I'd like to think I'm not being materialistic -- I'm just not comfortable wearing them together.  I want to switch to wearing just a plain wedding band, no e-ring, as soon as I reasonably can after our wedding in June.  I'm torn between upsetting him now by saying he got my style completely wrong, and risking him feeling like he wasted his money at a later date.  Thoughts??

laurenclaire1386

We just had a thread like this not too long ago. Some people (and I disagree vehemently with these people) are in the you should be grateful for what he took the time, energy, and money to pick out for you and wear it even if you don't like it camp. I say talk to him. Explain that it just feels like too much and that it has nothing to do with him, it's just not your style and ASK if he would mind if you got a plainer band.

achiduck

Can we see a picture of this e-ring/set?

My ring is rather "sparkly" too (LOVE it!), but I plan on having a very thin, discrete wedding band that tucks into the E-ring.

Personally, I would't just immediately stop wearing the E-ring. If you TRULY don't like it, then maybe you could suggest having it reset. There was a debate about this not too long ago. But either way, prepare for a few hurt feelings if you don't wear it or if you change it.

MrsMack10612

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_e-ringw-band-set-much-together?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:35df5076-42bd-4683-83d3-837be161f75ePost:d68b330a-90ae-4c92-b520-54eaab9aeddd">Re: E-ring/w-band set -- too much together??</a>:
[QUOTE]Can we see a picture of this e-ring/set? My ring is rather "sparkly" too (LOVE it!), but I plan on having a very thin, discrete wedding band that tucks into the E-ring. Personally, I would't just immediately stop wearing the E-ring. <strong>If you TRULY don't like it</strong>, then maybe you could suggest having it reset. There was a debate about this not too long ago. But either way, prepare for a few hurt feelings if you don't wear it or if you change it.
Posted by achiduck[/QUOTE]

I don't think it's a matter of she doesn't like her e-ring.  She feels that the matching band with more diamonds is too much bling for her and would like a simpler band.

Unless you've already purchased the matching band, which could be tricky to return, I see no reason whatsoever to not get a simpler band that you prefer.

websterh

Here's the set:

http://www.kay.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/product1|10101|10001|-1|940194100|15051|15051

I very rarely wear any jewelry at all, so this is quite a difference for me.  I've worn the e-ring for a couple of weeks -- but they go together, and together they don't make me WANT to wear them (if that makes any sense).  I will probably sit on it a few more weeks & think about it.  The store's refund/exchange timeframe hasn't run out yet

achiduck

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_e-ringw-band-set-much-together?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:35df5076-42bd-4683-83d3-837be161f75ePost:2f0772b7-52d5-4c28-89dc-c66a85662921">Re: E-ring/w-band set -- too much together??</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: E-ring/w-band set -- too much together?? : I don't think it's a matter of she doesn't like her e-ring.  She feels that the matching band with more diamonds is too much bling for her and would like a simpler band. Unless you've already purchased the matching band, which could be tricky to return, I see no reason whatsoever to not get a simpler band that you prefer.
Posted by kjhowd[/QUOTE]

Good point, I clearly misread the OP.

Since it's from a set, it might be difficult to exchange just the wedding band, but you never know - if you ask very nicely maybe they'll give you some store credit towards a plainer band?

LDYGTR13

I have a friend who is teeny tiny (4'11 and 92 lbs) - she has that set. It looks MASSIVE on her - I can understand your feelings about it being blingy.

I've got another friend who's H gave her a big gaudy yellow gold marquis cut diamond ring with all sorts of teeny tiny weird chip diamonds on it - it's fugly. (DISCLAIMER: marquis cut and yellow gold aren't bad - this ring is just terrible). He gave it to her in the 80's - it doesn't carry over well to the new millenium. She wore it for about a year and then traded to a more traditional set and has actually changed her bands about 5 times I think.

Some people don't think it's a bad thing to change it up. But I'd probably stick with it for a while at least, he DID pick it out for you. Talk to your FI and see what he thinks.

midgetthemighty

That is very sparkly and I understand completely how that is not your style (it's not mine either). My question is..if you return the wedding band, do you have to return the E-ring also? It seems you really like the E-ring and would not want this to happen. I would hope they'd work with you on getting a band you like to go with the E-ring, but it is something to ask the Jeweler.

Bubbalub

That set is quite lovely and yes, very sparkly! One option could be to wear your wedding band on your left hand and your e-ring on your right hand. I did that in my first marriage because the e-ring was platinum and the wedding band was white gold, so the e-ring would scratch it.

My current set is similar, if a little more delicate. I call them, together, my Zsa-Zsas. Heh.

jessicabessica

I am partial to plain bands.  That's a lovely set, but I could see how you might want to tone it down a bit instead of adding more bling with the band.  It looks like the wedding band is curved a little so that it doesn't rub against the setting.  If you want a plain band, you can have it bent a bit so it won't rub either. 

NOLAbridealmost

Would it be the end of the world to use your engagement ring as the wedding ring in the ceremony and just wear one ring for the rest of your life?  I am toying with the idea of doing that because I just prefer the look of one ring.  I don't even like wearing one ring on each hand. Even if one is like a big, fun cocktail ring.  It just feels weird on my hands.  I've even tried wearing my wedding band along with my E-ring to get used to it and I am having a really hard time.  It just looks better alone. 

 (I am POSITIVE that I'll be in the minority on my weird one-ring complex). 

You could always wear the wedding band on a necklace so it doesn't go to waste. 

lyndausvi

My wedding band and e-ring is way too much together.  I wear them on separate hands.   

Oddly I wear the wedding band on my right and the e-ring on the right.  Opps, honestly the rings just fit better on the the hands they are on and I didn't see a need to change them.  DH doesn't care as long as I have at least one of them on my left hand.

Ghoti

Plain bands are like, 50 bucks, why don't you just get a small one to wear instead of the bling one, then sell or save the bling one for special occasions/heirloom? 

I don't think your FI would be offended since you like the engagement ring, I've always thought of the wedding band as something a couple picks out together.

websterh

Good news! I talked to him and, wonderful guy that he is, he suggested we go look through the store he got it from & see if there was anything similar I could exchange the wedding band for -- just not as blingy!  Thanks for the feedback, everyone!

tpender13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_e-ringw-band-set-much-together?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:35df5076-42bd-4683-83d3-837be161f75ePost:59c16b86-ade0-4a71-bdf6-86fa0d8b0f65">Re: E-ring/w-band set -- too much together??</a>:
[QUOTE]Good news! I talked to him and, wonderful guy that he is, he suggested we go look through the store he got it from & see if there was anything similar I could exchange the wedding band for -- just not as blingy!  Thanks for the feedback, everyone!
Posted by websterh[/QUOTE]

That's great that he's cool with that. Let us know how it goes!