Bridesmaid luncheon

harperer

I'm still debating as to weather or not to even hold a luncheon, since most everyone is from out of town. However, if we do and we go to a local restaurant, is it my responsibility to pay? I was thinking of this as a kind of 'girls afternoon out' more than a formal affair.

Thanks!

Beachy730

This bridesmaid's luncheon is something I'm not familiar with, other than seeing it on here.  But IMO if you are making it a wedding related event and basically requiring them to go, I think you need to pay for them.  The only thing somewhat close to this I did was after we went BM dress shopping with 3 of my BMs we went to lunch after and I bought for all of them, including my Nana who came for the ride and the 2 kids of my BMs.  To me, they had just shelled out $135 each on a dress for my wedding, so I could buy them lunch. 

waltzingmatilda13

A bridesmaid luncheon is an event that is hosted by the bride and yes, you would be required to pay. If you just wanted to hang out, you could see if everyone wants to go to lunch sometime and make it clear that they would pay for themselves.

redheadfsu

Who is hosting? The bridesmaids or the bride? Or someone else? The host should pay. Sounds like you want to host it, so you should pay for it. If the bride is the one that requests the luncheon, I would assume she would pay for it. If the bride hosts, it is like an additional thank you gift to the bridesmaids.

doctabroccoli

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaid-luncheon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:36f4a5d6-2c3d-4914-a765-cb7a44b98731Post:2ba2789b-cfaf-4931-bd73-597bc46ef9e7">Re: Bridesmaid luncheon</a>:
[QUOTE]This bridesmaid's luncheon is something I'm not familiar with, other than seeing it on here.  But IMO if you are making it a wedding related event and basically requiring them to go, I think you need to pay for them.  The only thing somewhat close to this I did was after we went BM dress shopping with 3 of my BMs we went to lunch after and I bought for all of them, including my Nana who came for the ride and the 2 kids of my BMs.  To me, they had just shelled out $135 each on a dress for my wedding, so I could buy them lunch. 
Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]

That's pretty much what I did.  We had a dress appt at 10am.  They bought their dresses, and then we went to Maggiano's, and I paid.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

You should totally pay. My BMs and I got our nails done the morning before the wedding (which I paid for), then we went to lunch (which I paid for) because hey, I was taking up their whole weekend.

Kristin789

Below you'll find a link that describes the entire bridesmaid tea or bridesmaid luncheon - from when to have it... to what's served... etc.  Yes, this is hosted by the bride.
http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-planning/rehearsal-dinner/articles/bridesmaids-tea-basics.aspx

harperer

Thanks ladies. It looks like I'm going to be inviting them to my mothers where I'm going to cook something since I am completely broke on a substitue's salary :-/

john&julie

That will be perfect and heart-felt.  The luncheon is just a way of saying thank you to them for all the work they have put in to helping make your day special, and what is a better way to say "thank you" then with some good home cooking?  The lunch tends to be the day before the wedding (sometimes day of if time permits) to accomodate out of towners, and it certainly doesn't have to cost an arm and a leg.  Also, a lot of people give their BMs their gifts here, but you can also do that at the rehearsal dinner.  It can have a theme or it can be super casual - whatever you want.  It started as a formal tea in the South, but it has kind of morphed into whatever is right for you and your girls.  My girls and I are going to a small restaurant and then to get manis and pedis before the rehearsal dinner.  I'm treating for lunch but not nails (which are totally optional for the gals).

MeaghanandMichael

I always thought of a bms lunch/brinch as a thank you. I don't know why you would have something like this is you were not willing to pay.