Exception for one person's kids?

sonya95

FI and I finally came up with an idea to reduce our guest count and the large number of kids who could potentially attend our wedding. Because we are older, almost all of our friends have children. It was a ridiculous amount - about 1/3 of the guests were kids, mostly young, and our reception venue isn't very kid-friendly. So, we decided to include just kids who are family and kids of the WP, which cuts the number to a more manageable 25.

Anyway, one friend who isn't in the WP has offered to co-host a bridal shower for me at her house. My MOH is saying that she doesn't think it's right for me to accept the shower but then not invite the friend's kids to the wedding. I think that if we have made a rule, based on category, then we need to stick to it and not make exceptions. Am I right, or would it show a lack of gratitude to not invite the friends kids (ages 4 and 7)?

Celles

I don't think it's necessary to invite her kids.

andy71781

I don't think you could get away with it.  If you invited her kids all of the other kids would have to be invited or there would be a bigger fight.  I'd stick with the no-kids plan, no exceptions.

Beachy730

Your friend is throwing you this shower because she wants to.  Not because she is expecting her kids to be invited.  There is no reason you need to invite her kids only for that reason.

If you want to invite them that is another story, but it sounds like you would only be doing it out of guilt.  You made the right call by cutting kids across groups.  By keeping it to family and WP you aren't picking and choosing individually, so people are more likely to understand.

tenofcups4me

I don't see what her throwing her a shower has to do with whether or not her kids are invited. Your MOH is wrong.

sonya95

Thanks everyone for your input. I'm feeling better about sticking to my guns!

lilianne22

I agree with the PP's, hosting your shower does not mean you have to invite her kids.  Stick to fam and WP kids only.

ellen82

We have decided to do the same thing as you. Only invite the kids of our family or immediate cousins who would be travelling a great distance (because there would be no family to babysit). A shower is a shower and I highly doubt she wants to throw you want to get her kids to attend.

Many of my friends with kids view the night as a nice date night and the chance to spend it sans-kids for an evening At least that is how my friends think! They would rather be burning up the dance floor for just one night then making sure that their kid is entertained. Its a chance to have some adult time!