Gift Opening Day After Wedding - Who do you Invite?

jodiemariecooksley

We were thinking of having a backyard BBQ cookout type lunch the day after our wedding coming up in August on the next day (Sunday) just grilling burgers etc. and then opening our wedding gifts. Obviously we'll invite our parents and brothers and sisters. Do we invite the bridal party to this? What other family do we invite? We don't have the biggest house and I'd rather not have to rent out a seperate facility for this and we won't be able to use the reception venue since we will have to be out of that by midnight on Saturday. We have to take the gifts out of there and bring those with us by the end of the night on Saturday. We were going to have family bring those to our house on Sunday morning for us. I've been to this type of thing in the past when I was a bridemaid in the wedding or was in the immediate family - my aunt's wedding when I was younger. I'm not really sure who you all invite?? I think we could only really fit about 10-15 people in our house for the actual gift opening part.

bonge

We had a private gift opening because my dad was hosting a party for us the day after the wedding & we felt an all day affair was too much but in my circle we invite anyone we want. Bridal party is usually included. I wouldn't go all our & invite extended family. You say your hosue is small but do you have a yard? That is usually where i have seen them take place, not in the actual house. 

Summer2011Bride

Honestly I would just stick to parents and siblings. It's also not very common in my circle to do this, so there's that, but I think a huge gift-opening extravaganza would be a little weird. We had my parents, BIL and his g/f over to our hotel suite the next day for mid-day lunch and gift-opening (they asked if they could come watch us open gifts--we opened and read cards privately). I think something low-key after just having a big party the night before might be nicer. Also, unless I was a sibling, even if I was in the WP, I probably wouldn't want to sit around for an hour or more and watch you open presents.

kikirst33

When I've been invited to these in the past I"ve felt kind of awkward.  It was nice to see the bride and groom after the wedding but watching them opening their gifts and cards was odd.

It made me feel awkward about what I had given them as a gift when I saw what others had given. And opening cards with $$$$?  Don't do this in front of anyone becuase $50 may be all Aunt Jane can afford but next to Uncle Joe who gave you $200 it becomes a very bad situation.

Why not enjoy their company and open gifts in private?

Just my $.02

jodiemariecooksley

I wasn't planning on opening the cards at all... we wanted to do that on our own for sure.

In my family this is kind of a tradition to have a get together the next day and in the midwest especially I think a lot of people do it. I know a lot of my friends have done it so it just seems like it's what you are supposed to do so I'm not sure what the expected thing to do is.

It sounds like we should just stick to our parents and siblings only. I agree with bridal party not coming... I actually didn't make it to my friend Janet's when I was a bridesmaid a few years ago because I was too hungover to go the next day... too much champagne I guess???

cpm1223

We only received two physical gifts at our wedding so we didn't do any sort of "gift opening party"

My parents brought over all of the cards from the wedding after we got back from our honeymoon and H and I started opening some while they were there. They mostly just watched tv while we did it!

If you think you're going to get physical gifts at the wedding, then go for it, but keep it small and I'd only invite parents, siblings, maybe WP if they live nearby. But if you're more likely going to get cards (depending on the norm for your area) I'd just do a BBQ and skip the "gift opening" part of the party

HandBanana

I have never heard of this before.  Maybe because you rarely get gifts around here and it would be just cards, checks, and money.

Tami87

Honestly I am not a huge fan of having a big gift opening party I find it kind of awkward, although some of my relatives have done this at a next day brunch and it wasn't horrible. We ended up having a get together the day after the wedding where everyone was fed lunch (a hot breakfast was provided at the hotel so it seemed silly to throw a brunch) and we got to talk to all the OOT family before they left. Then Sunday evening we went over to my ILs house to open gifts with just us, my parents, and two of my husband's aunts who were visiting at his parents house. We also just opened physical gifts at his parents and waited until we got home to open cards (we are waiting to do a big honeymoon trip in December). I agree that with PPs that it can be uncomfortable to open cards with money or checks in front of everyone.

melb2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_gift-opening-day-after-wedding-who-do-you-invite?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3747b79c-2d1b-49d4-a48a-db802c3ff753Post:5ec2a48f-57b9-4baa-af6e-f1fadce74d8d">Re: Gift Opening Day After Wedding - Who do you Invite?</a>:
[QUOTE]When I've been invited to these in the past I"ve felt kind of awkward.  It was nice to see the bride and groom after the wedding but watching them opening their gifts and cards was odd. It made me feel awkward about what I had given them as a gift when I saw what others had given. And opening cards with $$$$?  Don't do this in front of anyone becuase $50 may be all Aunt Jane can afford but next to Uncle Joe who gave you $200 it becomes a very bad situation. Why not enjoy their company and open gifts in private? Just my $.02
Posted by kikirst33[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I agree.  I think gift opening parties are tacky and I'd feel weird attending one.

</div>

Elle1036

I've always thought the concept of a gift-opening party is strange.  Then again, they're not common in my area.  I've never been to one, and we didn't have one.

I would keep it to just your immediate families if you want to do it.

Simply Fated

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_gift-opening-day-after-wedding-who-do-you-invite?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3747b79c-2d1b-49d4-a48a-db802c3ff753Post:ab6a8bb5-20c5-4a22-a049-197cc52c4fd5">Re: Gift Opening Day After Wedding - Who do you Invite?</a>:
[QUOTE]I wasn't planning on opening the cards at all... we wanted to do that on our own for sure.
Posted by jodiemariecooksley[/QUOTE]
Then how will you know who gave you the gifts?

aragx6

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_gift-opening-day-after-wedding-who-do-you-invite?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3747b79c-2d1b-49d4-a48a-db802c3ff753Post:1c6c7581-1ed2-4c1a-80a3-b1aba2e3d6f6">Re: Gift Opening Day After Wedding - Who do you Invite?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Gift Opening Day After Wedding - Who do you Invite? : Then how will you know who gave you the gifts?
Posted by Simply Fated[/QUOTE]

I think she means the stand-alone cards.

willywally5

If you are bent on doing the gifts in public, keep the gathering small as in just family. 

FWIW, Ireally, really hate gift openings. They are so awkward and super boring. Everytime we've been to one, it's been like,"Oh man, we have to go to this now, too." They suck, make people feel obligated to attend and we weren't the only 'guests' (more like command performance attendees) who felt that way. Just my opinion.

Simply Fated

It's literally a party where people come and watch you open gifts. It's beyond awkward. It's ridiculous.
I just don't get the point of it, except to AW their gifts or what ever. Like, "come see what people bought me!"

It's right up there when 16 year olds drive their new cars into the student parking lots to show off what mommy and daddy got them. Except this time there is an actual party with food for the "showing off occasion."

jodiemariecooksley

I feel kind of obligated to host this since it's kind of expected. My mom had asked me what we were planning on doing. Everyone in my family has done it in the past and it's been a while since anyone has gotten married in my family... I'm the first of this generation to get married in our family since we have a pretty tight knit extended family of aunts / uncles on my Mom's side. I know my mom will want to be there when we open gifts for sure, so I'd just assume we grill out for lunch but I didn't know if we should actually host like a lunch or something for other people. My friend who I was bridesmaid in her wedding invited me over and another friend my FI was in a wedding for we went to their gift opening (which I will admit was super boring) I guess it just depends. I don't want them to feel obligated to come to the gift opening, but maybe I just invite people over for lunch if they are in town still and in our wedding party or close family and then if they'd like to stay to watch us open the boxed presents they are welcome to. We would open all the cards privately - that would be super awkward to announce "Grandma gave me $100!" No thanks to that...

jodiemariecooksley

Also, to follow that up - seems like a LOT of the wedding events and things I'm doing are things my MOM wants to do and makes me feel I SHOULD be doing, not stuff I necessarily WANT to do. One example, being a "gift opening" get-together.

jodiemariecooksley

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_gift-opening-day-after-wedding-who-do-you-invite?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3747b79c-2d1b-49d4-a48a-db802c3ff753Post:51189636-fe5d-4850-8eb5-39f01f1496dc">Re: Gift Opening Day After Wedding - Who do you Invite?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Gift Opening Day After Wedding - Who do you Invite? : I think she means the stand-alone cards.
Posted by aragx6[/QUOTE]

Yes, I was talking about just the cards people put in the card basket and not the ones attached to wrapped presents.

Simply Fated

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_gift-opening-day-after-wedding-who-do-you-invite?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3747b79c-2d1b-49d4-a48a-db802c3ff753Post:f944ece3-a2e3-4a08-aa4b-2e3898d07d9e">Re: Gift Opening Day After Wedding - Who do you Invite?</a>:
[QUOTE]Also, to follow that up - seems like a LOT of the wedding events and things I'm doing are things my MOM wants to do and makes me feel I SHOULD be doing, not stuff I necessarily WANT to do. One example, being a "gift opening" get-together.
Posted by jodiemariecooksley[/QUOTE]
Just say no. Invite people over for a bbq, if yu want, but if they mention when gifts will be open, try, "DH and I will be opening them later when we're alone."
It's fine if you want to do any of these things, but if you don't... don't.