Wedding Etiquette Forum

Dad bringing his ex-girlfriend and wife to wedding??? (LONG)

Okay, I didn't know where to post this but I posted it in Etiquette due to the issue. So here's the story,  I was recently talking to my father about the wedding guest list bc my family on both mom and dad's side are out of state so them coming to the wedding is going to be short on my list compared to my fiance. Anyways, As I was talking to him about this list, he told me he wanted to bring this woman named Barb or something, apparently I know her (When I was a infant, I'll be 21 when the wedding takes place) and my dad explained how he ALMOST married her and he wants her to come to the wedding, I just said well....and he responded saying he'll make sure he pays for her and everything. This would be fine of course, IF HE WASNT MARRIED. Now I never liked my step-mother (long story) she never liked me she even told me that when I was seven years old. Now I also know my father cheats on his wife, he been doing it since before they were married dating a lot of women he even cheated on my mom too which is why they are happily divorced but still hate each other.

But here is the catch, my god-mom also was his ex girlfriend (mistress) but she got back with her husband and all. Most men wouldn't want to be in the same room with their ex wife (Mom), ex mistress (god-Mom), wife (who is very sick btw), and almost married ex girlfriend. Which Im sure he is cheating on his wife with her. I never ever spoke to my father about his cheating, why? It's basically not my business and in his head he truly believes kissing another woman infront of his daughter isn't cheating. He even goes so far as putting his women's numbers under men's names. But now I feel its my business bc I don't want any drama at all at the wedding. Our wedding is in Las Vegas with our small budget and my step mom's family lives there but aren't invited I'm assuming my dad is doing this bc he knows his wife and I hate each other and she won't stay long at the wedding she'll go off and be with her family or gamble. But I don't know how to address this issue. I've asked my fiance and he was shocked saying that's insane he would do this, I spoke to my mom and she is upset he would do this at his daughter's wedding, and my oldest sister (different dad's) who said to let it go and let him go ahead and do it.

Its like I'm more worried about any drama coming out and I just find this highly inappropriate. I feel like if I told him not to bring her he would act out (which he has done before) or he would just do it anyway bc he is helping pay for the wedding. Any suggestions on how to handle this?
*Singing* I can see clearly now the rain is gone, its going to be a bright.... BRIGHT.... bright sun shinny day!

Re: Dad bringing his ex-girlfriend and wife to wedding??? (LONG)

  • Unless he's paying for the wedding, don't give him any say. Tell him that he and his WIFE are welcome at the wedding, but his "friend" is not due to a strict budget/venue space/etc. If he won't take no for an answer, tell him it's YOUR wedding, and you do not need the added stress of having your father's ex-gf/current mistress around. Who cares if you knew her a hundred years ago, I'm sure there are lots of other people you know but AREN'T invited to the wedding :)
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  • "Sorry Dad, Fiance and I have a strict rule.  If we have to be introduced the person, they aren't invited.  So, how about them Dodgers?"
  • I agree with PPs. Just tell him "no."
  • Agreed. Tell him no, just because he offers to pay for his girlfriend, doesn't change the fact that she still takes up the limited space. 

    IMO, the wedding isn't the place for your Dad to have all his mistresses and ex-mistresses. I'm sure it will be awkward enough to have just your mom and your Dad as well as their families there. I'm in the same boat and I just started the planning process.
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  • Definitely tell him no. He doesn't need to have all those women there. Invite he and his wife only.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dad-bringing-his-ex-girlfriend-wife-wedding-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:390f2cd2-ffe0-4f33-a8ef-6a47809e80c6Post:aff045c6-c79b-41c0-b076-745f5f398244">Re: Dad bringing his ex-girlfriend and wife to wedding??? (LONG)</a>:
    [QUOTE]"Sorry Dad, Fiance and I have a strict rule. <strong> If we have to be introduced the person, they aren't invited.</strong>  So, how about them Dodgers?"
    Posted by DramaGeek[/QUOTE]

    Oooh, I like this!
  • Sorry Dad, one date per guest. How about them Bruins?
  • ziti, that was our rule - at least one of us had to know the person well enough that when they walked in the room we instantly knew who they were.  There were definitely family friends that H hadn't met, and vice versa, so we didn't go with both of us needing to know them, but it did keep there from being random people from MIL and FILs church that they wanted to invite.
  • I think the problem is he is helping to pay for the wedding.  Have you sat down with him, and explained to him that his behavior is not appropriate? 
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