Wedding Etiquette Forum

Adult only event

We are having our wedding and reception as an adult only event with the exception of children in the bridal party. (which includes our daughter)
I sent our our invitations worded to the couples only not the family.

I am still worried that people will respond with children on their RSVP. How do I handle this if it happens. I don't want anyone to be upset, but I just can't fathom paying $50 a plate for a 4 year old.

Re: Adult only event

  • Some people will.

    If they do, you will have to make "the call".  Just apologize for the confusion and let them know that the event is adults-only.  Just keep in mind that some people won't come with out their child/ren. They will be missed.
  • edited January 2012
    What PP said.  If you are holding an adult event, it's just one of those things where you have to "suck it up" and make the call.  Some people may even be mad, but you have to remember to be firm.  If they say are mad or say they can't come without the little one, just tell them that they will be missed.

    FWIW, I'm sure I'll be making those calls for my RSVPs in May.  Own your decision and don't let anyone make you feel guilty.
  • em01092em01092 member
    First Comment
    edited January 2012
    Yep, it might be a little awkward but you have to do it. Don't make exceptions for anyone, so be prepared for whine fests and begging, even people getting an attitude. 

    ETA: Does your caterer really charge full price for kids that young? Mine does 12-5 are half price and under 5 free. I thought something along these lines was pretty common. Or is $50 half price? lol 
    April Siggy Challenge-Wedding Escape: Reading HG/dreaming about Peeta.... Image and video hosting by TinyPic Wedding Countdown Ticker Bio-Updated 4/22**
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_adult-only-event?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:39170ad5-2f0f-4823-bbf1-9b477ce8a8faPost:420918ca-3e0b-4d40-a517-28b5b1a8ba96">Re: Adult only event</a>:
    [QUOTE]Yep, it might be a little awkward but you have to do it. Don't make exceptions for anyone, so be prepared for whine fests and begging, even people getting an attitude.  ETA: <strong>Does your caterer really charge full price for kids that young? Mine does 12-5 are half price and under 5 free. I thought something along these lines was pretty common. Or is $50 half price? lol</strong> 
    Posted by em01092[/QUOTE]

    I don't know about OP's case, but children's plate at my (new) venue are $40. That is half price over what we're paying for adult meals, and only consists of chicken fingers and fries. It better be some darn good chicken fingers...

    OP - like PPs have said, just be prepared to call those who respond with additional (children) guests.
    You: "I'm sorry Aunt Jane, there seems to be a misunderstanding. The wedding invitation was only for you and Uncle John. We are not able to host Susie and Bobby. We hope you can still make it!"

    If your guests stomp their feet and say that they can't/won't come if they can't bring their children, tell them that you're sorry to hear that and they'll be missed.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_adult-only-event?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:39170ad5-2f0f-4823-bbf1-9b477ce8a8faPost:420918ca-3e0b-4d40-a517-28b5b1a8ba96">Re: Adult only event</a>:
    [QUOTE]Yep, it might be a little awkward but you have to do it. Don't make exceptions for anyone, so be prepared for whine fests and begging, even people getting an attitude.  ETA: Does your caterer really charge full price for kids that young? Mine does 12-5 are half price and under 5 free. I thought something along these lines was pretty common. Or is $50 half price? lol 
    Posted by em01092[/QUOTE]

    <div>Ours charges $50 per child...more than double for an adult. We're not having children. I already know of people that will not come without their children.Oh well. We don't have the space or the funds to have everyone and their children. That conversation will suck but it's going to have to happen! Good luck!</div>
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Wow, that seems out of control. I guess I just have a ridiculously inexpensive caterer. 
    April Siggy Challenge-Wedding Escape: Reading HG/dreaming about Peeta.... Image and video hosting by TinyPic Wedding Countdown Ticker Bio-Updated 4/22**
  • Avion22Avion22 member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    edited January 2012
    I understand you're nervous, but people haven't actually RSVPd with their kids yet, so hopefully you won't have to call people to explain that it's adults-only.  You did the right thing with how you addressed the invitations -- now let's just hope people understand:-)  If not, you'll be making some phone calls....
    DSC_9275
  • We had one guest RSVP with their child. We just simply called them to let them know it was an adult only event. They were completely fine with it and actually apologized for their mistake. It's really not that big of a deal.
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards