Is it ok to tell them they can bring a guest after the fact?

aurianna

Background:
Our guestlist is very, very tight; as is we're playing with fire in that if we got a 100% acceptance rate, it would create a financial hardship (we have a lot of OOT family members who are notorious for not coming to things, but I know we're still taking a risk).
We are not giving every single guest a free plus-one. Established couples of course, and guests who will not know anyone else get a plus-one. But singles who will know plenty of other people at the wedding, not so much. Not sure if this is proper etiquitte, but it's what we can afford to do.

So...

My FI currently lives a few states away. He'd like to invite some of his co-workers to our wedding. Many of them are single. I know that if you invite out of towners, it's polite to invite them with a guest. We will of course invite the spouses of those who are married, but those who are single... because he wants to invite 5 or 6 co-workers, if more than one of them comes then there will be people there they know and I don't feel like we should be required to add bunch of people we don't know to our already busting guest list if its unnecessary. (Or before I go any further, should we be inviting them with guests regardless since they're coming from out of town?)

So, assuming inviting the singles without guests is ok... because the wedding is a 5 hour drive from these people and plane tickets would be at least $300+, I'm not sure what kind of turn out we'd get.

So hypothetical situation that this post is all about:
If only one person RSVPs, they will not know anyone there. Is it ok to call them after the fact at and say something like, "We're so glad you're coming to our wedding. I just wanted to let you know that you're free to bring a guest if you'd like. If you choose to bring one, if you can just give us a call with their name and meal choice by *fill in the date*.

Or is this just tacky?

Beachy730

If possible I would give all OOT guests a +1.  But if there are several of his coworkers that are single, I guess they could drive together.  I still believe anyone who has to travel should have the option of bringing a guest.

As for calling after the fact to add a +1, I think that is fine.  You aren't adding a late invite to them, just a guest.  If you end up doing it, I would word it exactly as you said, and make no mention that you are only giving them a guest because so many people declined the invite.

Summer2011Bride

I think calling them like you said would be OK. But if you really need to keep a tight lid on the guest list, I would maybe consider not inviting co-workers. It seems like if you have to cut to keep costs down, co-workers would be one of the first to go. But I do agree that if people are not in relationships and know plenty of others, they don't necessarily need to bring a guest. That is what we are doing.

aurianna

Thanks for the input guys!

We're inviting his co-workers because, while he has a large family, FI doesn't have that many friends (he has 4 good ones, but the rest are mutual that he met through me). I want him to feel like the guest list isn't just my friends and that he has a say in the non-family portion of the guest list.

So the reasons for doing so probably aren't the most logical; I'm aware. We do what we can for love.