Wedding Etiquette Forum

Another "Sorry you're not invited" post

My fiance and I have been blessed with the means to have the wedding we want; we were able to invite the amount of people we wanted, we sent out the STD's and we're feeeling pretty comfortable that the people we want will be there.

There are a few people we didn't invite, but now I'm worried that they may have a good point about us not inviting them, so I'll explain:

One girl was a former co-worker whose wedding I went to when we worked together. We aren't close, but we live in the same town and now she's been sending me messages on FB, stopping me on the street, upset that she didn't receive an invite to my wedding.

The others I'm not too worried about because they're former SO's of my present friends or something stupid that doesn't warrant explanation.

I guess I'm just trying to find a way to tell them, oh well, we aren't terribly close and I didn't really feel the need to invite you.

They aren't close friends ~ more like whiny people in the community and on FB that are offended at the omission.

What should I do???

Vacation White Knot

Re: Another "Sorry you're not invited" post

  • It doesn't matter what the actual reason for not inviting them is--it's still best to stick to the party line "I'm so sorry, we just couldn't invite everyone we wanted" and then try to change the subject.
  • The save the dates were sent out about a month ago; I'm guessing it was mentioned because the FB message I got was "I invited you to my wedding and it's really rude that you're not inviting me to yours."

    I'm thinking a FB purge for 2012 is in order....
    Vacation White Knot
  • Weddings are not tit for tat, as they say. You owe no one an explanation, just say you weren't able to invite everyone you wanted. If she persists, block her on facebook and ignore her. She's the rude one for insisting on an invite.
  • I have had this same issue, and I have read in other etiquette places that people should not question their invitation to your wedding. that is rude. so you are not in the wrong here. These people will have to understand that you didn't invite them for a reason - i agree with other above you can always just say that unfortunately you arent able to invite every single person you would like to because of space, money, etc.
  • You don't have to invite anyone whose wedding you've attended to be a guest at yours.  It doesn't work that way.  Try not to bring up the wedding around them.  If they keep asking tell them you're sorry but you couldn't invite everyone you would have liked and leave it at that.
  • Thanks for the info guys; the party line it is! If it works, why fix it?
    Vacation White Knot
  • Your old coworker sounds a little crazy :)
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_another-sorry-not-invited-post?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3967f7a1-c918-49ca-a169-9f8cff2771ccPost:615d768d-4df8-436e-a573-beef1f0655e1">Re: Another "Sorry you're not invited" post</a>:
    [QUOTE]Your old coworker sounds a little crazy :)
    Posted by Birdie1483[/QUOTE]
    This. No matter what, I would never track someone down on the street and demand to know why I wasn't invited. 
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  • It's not rude to not invite her. For all she knows, you're having a 20 person destination wedding, and she invited 350 people. There's absolutely no rule that you have to invite people who invited you to their weddings.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_another-sorry-not-invited-post?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3967f7a1-c918-49ca-a169-9f8cff2771ccPost:976889cb-d886-4c6c-958e-cbe95214d131">Re: Another "Sorry you're not invited" post</a>:
    [QUOTE]The save the dates were sent out about a month ago; I'm guessing it was mentioned because the FB message I got was "I invited you to my wedding and it's really rude that you're not inviting me to yours." I'm thinking a FB purge for 2012 is in order....
    Posted by melntaitt[/QUOTE]
    Facebook purges are good. Who needs 982 friends that they do not talk to or quite remember?
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