Who is responsible?

adrianaciorba

Who is responsible for making the first "congratulation" call between parents? Should the bride's parents call the groom's parents to congratulate them or vice versa?

dumdumfroggie

I'm pretty sure there is no rule for this, at least not one that is followed today.

Do the parents even know each other?

amys325

Do the parent's call each other. 

Ours didn't....is my marriage void?

adrianaciorba

The parents do know each other but not well. The groom's mother became upset that the bride's parents did not call them to say congratulations. Just wondering what the proper ettiquette was. I didn't think it mattered either....

salexion

I don't think there is a rule for this. When I got engaged, this didn't happen because our parents don't know each other, plus it might be a little odd even if they did. That's not to say that your parents can't congratulate each other if they want to. It's an exciting occaision and they should be happy.

redheadfsu

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_responsible?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:39b30ccc-1065-4918-8154-92e97010cfc2Post:3472a0f7-6f9a-415e-9229-989b51d7034c">Re: Who is responsible?</a>:
[QUOTE]The parents do know each other but not well. The groom's mother became upset that the bride's parents did not call them to say congratulations. Just wondering what the proper ettiquette was. I didn't think it mattered either....
Posted by adrianaciorba[/QUOTE]

Have your FI explain to his mom that no offense was meant. That she is welcome to call your parents if she wants, but that no one is aware of this rule except her.

Simply Fated

Eagles, that was my thought, too. Adriana, your FMIL is outta her mind.

adrianaciorba

Ha! Thank you, I agree... she is the only one who knows of this "rule"

redheadfsu

I just searched and she is wrong...the groom's parents are to call the bride's parents. (but no one follows this).

TK even explains it - LINK

lbarr088

FI's parents have yet to meet my parents so, no phone call.  That seems weird to me in general that they'd do the whole phone calling thing.  

Kate61487

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_responsible?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:39b30ccc-1065-4918-8154-92e97010cfc2Post:d1731260-cd39-4676-9e49-5f9bb9971965">Re: Who is responsible?</a>:
[QUOTE]I just searched and she is wrong...the groom's parents are to call the bride's parents. (but no one follows this). TK even explains it - LINK
Posted by redheadfsu[/QUOTE]

HA, ridiculous old-fashioned-ness fail. 

sarabellam

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_responsible?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:39b30ccc-1065-4918-8154-92e97010cfc2Post:3472a0f7-6f9a-415e-9229-989b51d7034c">Re: Who is responsible?</a>:
[QUOTE] The groom's mother became upset that the bride's parents did not call them to say congratulations.Posted by adrianaciorba[/QUOTE]

Your FMIL is BSC. I'm so sorry.

untherapy

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_responsible?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:39b30ccc-1065-4918-8154-92e97010cfc2Post:d1731260-cd39-4676-9e49-5f9bb9971965">Re: Who is responsible?</a>:
[QUOTE]I just searched and she is wrong...the groom's parents are to call the bride's parents. (but no one follows this). TK even explains it - LINK
Posted by redheadfsu[/QUOTE]

Yup, according to my mom's gigantic old Emily Post book the groom's parents are supposed to make the first call. Their website now says that it doesn't much matter :P

rebarobert2012

I don't really think that the parents of the bride and the groom need to call and congratulate each other.

lyndausvi

i wish I could see the question to be able to answer.

mica178

Me three.

krizzo17

haha I keep checking back to see if the thread has been restored. Glad to see I'm not the only one.

Matty143

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_responsible?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:39b30ccc-1065-4918-8154-92e97010cfc2Post:cdb1a5a4-492c-4dea-b976-e935a5c6559d">Re: Who is responsible?</a>:
[QUOTE]i wish I could see the question to be able to answer.
Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]

I believe it was something along the lines of: Which set of parents should be the one to call the other to say congratulations on the engagement.

I don't think there is a rule about this.

Juris11

Why would the parents be congratulating each other? That doesn't even make sense. Only the couple need congratuations?

krizzo17

So I happened to come across *this* article when I first got engaged, which made me giggle. Note that the date is 1922.

lyndausvi

Our moms met/spoke for the first time at my shower, some 11 months after we got engaged.  My dad and MIL met/spoke for the first time at the rehersal, which was 14 months after we got engaged.

Kate61487

Apparently OP's FILs were offended that the brides parents did not call them to congratulate them on the engagement.  Which is ridiculous enough on its own, but extra funny since the actual, outdated, tradition is for the grooms parents to call

KellyBrian2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_responsible?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:39b30ccc-1065-4918-8154-92e97010cfc2Post:9986bb5b-3b9b-4c03-81bc-a2f95c026973">Re: Who is responsible?</a>:
[QUOTE]Apparently OP's FILs were offended that the brides parents did not call them to congratulate them on the engagement.  Which is ridiculous enough on its own, but extra funny since the actual, outdated, tradition is for the grooms parents to call
Posted by Kate61487[/QUOTE]

Seriously odd.

My FILs met my mom and stepdad when we were looking at venues and have attended a housewarming party at our house together, but that's it. FILs still haven't met me dad/stepmom and probably won't until the RD.

leia1979

I suppose we failed engagement etiquette. Our parents met at the wedding.

jennipea382

Our dads became friends on Facebook and they finally met when my parents were having a get together and invited them down, I think this was within a month or two of us getting engaged. I never knew the parents were supposed to call each other.. weird. We're the ones that got engaged.. *shrug*