Wedding Etiquette Forum

Not serving alcahol, is it rude?

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Re: Not serving alcahol, is it rude?

  • It is NOT rude to have a dry wedding.  But it can be really boring.  It's the risk you run.
  • Hmm ... it is not rude.  However, I agree with PP that you may want to have an early reception to manage expectations.  The only dry wedding I went to was a morning ceremony immediately followed by a punch and cake reception.  That worked.

    I don't drink alcohol, however, anyone invited to our home is welcome to have a drink (as long as its beer, rum, vodka, Makers Mark or Jack Daniels ... oh yeah, spiked egg nog during the holidays).  We hosted a full open bar at our wedding, as have been all weddings I've attended (except the one referenced above).

    Do what your budget allows.
  • I'm always a little bummed when I find out there will be no alcohol, but it's certainly not rude.
    That being said, if you're going to have no booze, make sure you hire a good dj to get people partying even without it.
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  • Also, I would let people know I'm not serving alcohol and let it spread through word of mouth.  The people who won't come because it's dry aren't people you need at your wedding anyway and it'll save you even more money.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-serving-alcahol-is-it-rude?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3a4f39a0-15dd-44a2-a743-4b74246f25abPost:22239133-f5c8-4226-844e-6ed82a83152f">Re: Not serving alcahol, is it rude?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Oh ladies! Calm down lol It is an expection to drink @ a wedding but totally not rude to not serve alcohol. Call it "shy" call it "fun" call it "liquid courage". Either way Brooklyngryl would be bowing to the pressure of an uncessary expense. So yes some dry weddings are boring and yes some open bar weddings are outrageous. Its about Brooklyngryl & her FH and the money they have to spend not so that Shy Jane Doe" will dance. Ha!
    Posted by MichelleThompson[/QUOTE]

    The issue is hosting your guests. That's what etiquette is about.

    If you are inviting people who normally have a drink with dinner or when they go to cocktail parties, then it is nice to accomodate them by offering alcohol.

    Here's another example: I hate cola. Pepsi, Coke, I think it's all gross. My mom and my MIL love it. (They drink regular coke and diet cola respectively.) Therefore, when they visit, I buy a 6 pack and put it in my fridge. Because I know THEY will appreciate it. Similarly, I offer my guests a variety of alcoholic and non-alcoholic beverages when I throw a party at my house. My parents were beer and wine people - they never drank hard liquor - but they always kept a fully stocked bar for when people came over. It's called being a good host.

    I went to a dry wedding on a Saturday evening once. It was suprisingly fun. HOWEVER the vast majority of the crowd were not drinkers. The B&G do not drink for religious reasons, and the groom's family is of the same religion. They also just tend to have friends who are not big drinkers. So everyone was fine with the mocktail hour and choice of non-alcoholic beverages. (However, I think they tried a little too hard to up the fun - they had board games as centerpieces - which is something they're really into - and in a way, I think it was for people who wouldn't want to dance without drinking, you know?)

    OP - I would see if you can bring in your own alcohol to the venue, and buy a keg of beer and a few cases of wine. Or see how much just beer and wine would be at the venue. If you can't, you can't. It sounds like it would be a really nice thing to do, though.
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  • Also, NO ONE has said they "need" alcohol. People trying to justify not serving alcohol have mentioned that, but to my knowledge, no one here is a raging alcohol who has said, "Actually, I need alcohol to avoid going into withdrawal, so you have to provide it to me."

    I like to drink some types of alcohol. The way I like to eat Mexican food or I like to go to museums or I like to watch movies. I prefer drinking a nice belgian style beer to drinking Sprite, which I'm not a big fan of. Knowing most of your friends enjoy beer and not serving it is, to me, like inviting me to stay with you for a week, knowing I like mexican food, and deciding to serve me Italian every night because that's what you prefer. It's just a little weird. Not rude per se, but a bit "off."
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  • Point well made. Thanks for alternative view. Personally not spending the $$$ but my guest are mostly non-drinkers. They won't even notice. Now if the food or DJ was bad then I'd be in serious trouble lol 
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