I know I'm not normally involved in these discussions as I am a lurker, but I just had to say to #1:
Please do not be ashamed to talk about this. It's a painful, painful thing to have to go through, but you are not alone. Even if you and H feel as if you weren't ready, it still hurts. Let it out. Please do not be afraid to talk about this...it helps process what you are going through.