Wedding Etiquette Forum

Invite to recently widowed cousin

My cousin's wife recently passed away and I will be sending my invitations out soon.  I am not particularly close with him and have no idea how to address the invitation - (not with guest...), but wanted to let him know that he could bring someone (daughter, etc).  Any ideas for how to word a note with the invitation?
Thanks.

Re: Invite to recently widowed cousin

  • edited May 2011
    His Name plus Guest

    If he is not dating anyone currently, then Guest is the best way to go so that way he knows that he is welcome to bring someone.

    Edit: I would say put his daughter's name, but if he doesn't want to bring her, then I guess you will have to call him up and tell him that he is welcome to bring someone else.
  • Can you put his daughter's name on the invite?
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  • You want to invite him to bring a guest, but not say "and guest" on the envelope?  Why?
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  • I would invite him and also invite his children.  I don't think anyone recently widowed would want to attend an event alone - FI's dad became a widower when FI was 12, and he didn't go anywhere without FI and FBIL.  They need all the support they can get right now, I'd welcome all of the remaining family to your wedding.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invite-recently-widowed-cousin?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3afd4fa5-ea6d-4e47-91c1-2052e91101c5Post:26e03380-2c10-4109-9205-6e3ec1073e63">Re: Invite to recently widowed cousin</a>:
    [QUOTE]You want to invite him to bring a guest, but not say "and guest" on the envelope?  Why?
    Posted by hlq2011[/QUOTE]

    My guess is that the OP is worried that it would bring a little heart ache to her cousin by not seeing his wife's name on invitation for the first time and the OP is just trying to be sensitive to her cousin's feelings.
  • Personally, if I were the cousin seeing "and Guest" might be a little painful for me.

    I'd suggest just write his name on the invitation and include a handwritten note that expresses your sadness for his loss and lets him know that if he would like to bring a guest he is more then welcome to do so, blah blah blah.

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  • Want my advice (I'm widowed)?  Nothing about "and Guest" is going to hurt more than just having his name alone on the invitation.  If you sent a card when his wife passed away, then I don't think you need to include a note now, but it wouldn't hurt. I say address it to "Uncle and Guest", because this is his new normal. I would much rather see that than wonder if I'm supposed to go alone, or if I can only bring my daughter, or whatever.

    And no matter how long ago his wife died, if you haven't dropped him a note, can I  tell you that the notes I received were a tremendous comfort, even from people I didn't know, like ddh's coworkers from years ago.  All you have to put in the note is that you are sorry for his loss, and that he and his daugher are in your thoughts (or prayers or whatever medium you choose to send good wishes.)  Even months later I was still getting cards, and I still read them sometimes. In fact, I'm trying to figure out a way to divide them among my kids and myself as keepsakes. But that's another story.
  • My cousin lost her husband recently so I asked her mom for advice about addressing the invitation and told her that cousin was more than welcome to bring a guest but I wasn't putting it on the invitation because I thought it would be too painful for her. My cousin and her mom are extremely close (even more so since this incident) so I knew thta would be the best way for me to handle things to be most considerate of my cousin's feelings.
    Do you have someone similar who is close to your cousin that you could go to for advice on what would make it easier for your cousin?
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