Never mind!

gigglesloveslattes82

Never mind!  I think I'd best talk to real people about this problem and not strangers on the internet.  Thanks though!

lyndausvi

Well, no it's not okay.   

But I'm not sure what choice you have once you tell your FI seeing him stirs up feelings for him  and that is why he is no longer on the list.

HockeyFan4

woah ....

crash2729

.....Hmmm....I think this would have been an interesting OP.

JoanE2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_un-inviting-to-the-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3b17c6e0-26eb-4382-a027-478fe7dfab72Post:5bd86894-7679-4e01-ab85-a57387c40ca4">Re: Never mind!</a>:
[QUOTE].....Hmmm....I think this would have been an interesting OP.
Posted by crash2729[/QUOTE]

Yup!  I wish someone would've copied the message in their reply.  :D

gigglesloveslattes82

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_un-inviting-to-the-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3b17c6e0-26eb-4382-a027-478fe7dfab72Post:1d2256dd-a960-436d-b5d5-0b1b49648f6d">Re: Never mind!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Never mind! : Yup!  I wish someone would've copied the message in their reply.  :D
Posted by JoanE2012[/QUOTE]

<div>Aww.......  It may have been "interesting" for you, but it would have just been painful for me :-/  There are real people with real problems on the other side of these posts.....I think sometimes that gets forgotten on these boards!!</div>

lyndausvi

Gotta love a poster who asks if it's okay.... then gets mad when people say "no".

Why ask the question if you don't want to hear the answer?

misshart00

I was just going to say invite them. You'll only have to spend a couple minutes with them.

crash2729

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_un-inviting-to-the-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3b17c6e0-26eb-4382-a027-478fe7dfab72Post:fdd02edf-c2b6-4017-89b5-a145e7d3c4ea">Re: Never mind!</a>:
[QUOTE]Gotta love a poster who asks if it's okay.... then gets mad when people say "no". <strong>Why ask the question if you don't want to hear the answer?</strong>
Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]
Yup.<div>
</div><div>And why post on a public message board if you want to keep it private?</div>

KellyBrian2013

In Response to Re:Never mind!:[QUOTE].....Hmmm....I think this would have been an interesting OP. Posted by crash2729[/QUOTE]

OP stayed friendly with an ex and sent him a STD with the blessing of her FI. She saw ex with new GF who is pretty, smarty, nice, etc. and suddenly has strong jealousy and wants to invite ex and GF from wedding because she is uncomfortable with how strong her feelings were.

KellyBrian2013

OP wants to UNinvite her ex and his new GF... stupid TK mobile won't let me edit.

gigglesloveslattes82

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_un-inviting-to-the-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3b17c6e0-26eb-4382-a027-478fe7dfab72Post:fdd02edf-c2b6-4017-89b5-a145e7d3c4ea">Re: Never mind!</a>:
[QUOTE]Gotta love a poster who asks if it's okay.... then gets mad when people say "no". Why ask the question if you don't want to hear the answer?
Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]

<div>No, I'm not mad!!!!!  I appreciate the advice.  The way your reply was worded felt a bit harsh, I will admit, and I realized that I should really just be talking to people who know me and know the situation.  I do understand that it's bad etiquette not to invite someone who has been sent a STD but I also wanted to know if others would find my reasoning for not sending an invite acceptable.  </div><div>
</div><div>I posted because this has been stressing me out.  I took the post down because I almost immediately realized the replies would not be particularly helpful and would probably just make me feel bad.  I'm sorry that I posted at all, and I'm sorry it seemed like I was being petty or defensive!!!!  It's always difficult to get advice about sensitive things on boards like this, because without the benefit of tone or any sort of context it's very easy to misinterpret things!!!!!  I won't make the same mistake again.  Thank you for your willingness to help in any case!!!</div>

gigglesloveslattes82

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_un-inviting-to-the-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3b17c6e0-26eb-4382-a027-478fe7dfab72Post:3968c79c-f106-4ff0-92de-f0ee497f22b9">Re: Never mind!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Never mind! : Yup. And why post on a public message board if you want to keep it private?
Posted by crash2729[/QUOTE]

<div>You're right :(  I shouldn't have.  I learned my lesson, thank you, I won't be coming by again!!!!</div>

gigglesloveslattes82

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_un-inviting-to-the-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3b17c6e0-26eb-4382-a027-478fe7dfab72Post:c2636e4e-be23-4633-861a-58509605a120">Re: Never mind!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Never mind! : If you ask a question about whether or not something is rude and the responses of total strangers makes you feel bad, chances are it's because deep down you know what you're doing is wrong.  Personally, if your feelings of jealousy are so strong that you can't handle seeing them at YOUR WEDDING, I don't think you have any business getting married.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

<div>Hey, that's really mean :( it's hurtful to see someone telling me I shouldn't get married based on someone else's summary of a comment that I made......</div><div>
</div><div>For the record, I was not asking about whether or not it is rude not to invite someone who was sent a STD (I know that is rude), I was simply asking for input on what other's thought of the situation.  The first comment made me realize that I had made a bad mistake in asking this.........it wasn't really an appropriate comment for an etiquette board.  The PPs pointed this out and they are right.</div><div>
</div><div>Just to be clear I love my fiance so much and he is wonderful to me, and I can't wait to marry him........  Seeing a comment like this one telling me I shouldn't get married makes me feel terrible, especially because I already feel guilty and confused about being jealous in the first place.  I was wrong to post here and I'm so sorry I asked this question at all....I can't complain if other people tell me how wrong I am or say bad things about me and my fiance because I brought it on myself.  But it's really not very constructive because I already feel bad.....</div>

mkrupar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_un-inviting-to-the-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3b17c6e0-26eb-4382-a027-478fe7dfab72Post:ddbf8573-9a8f-4762-9121-da2b7d28bf8a">Re: Never mind!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Never mind! : Hey, that's really mean :( it's hurtful to see someone telling me I shouldn't get married based on someone else's summary of a comment that I made...... For the record, I was not asking about whether or not it is rude not to invite someone who was sent a STD (I know that is rude), I was simply asking for input on what other's thought of the situation.  The first comment made me realize that I had made a bad mistake in asking this.........it wasn't really an appropriate comment for an etiquette board.  The PPs pointed this out and they are right. Just to be clear I love my fiance so much and he is wonderful to me, and I can't wait to marry him........  Seeing a comment like this one telling me I shouldn't get married makes me feel terrible, especially because I already feel guilty and confused about being jealous in the first place.  I was wrong to post here and I'm so sorry I asked this question at all....I can't complain if other people tell me how wrong I am or say bad things about me and my fiance because I brought it on myself.  But it's really not very constructive because I already feel bad.....
Posted by gigglesloveslattes82[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>How old are you? Have you honestly explored why you have feelings of jealousy for Ex & his new GF? Is it just because he's your ex, and a small (irrational) part of you is thinking "back off, he's mine, but wait no not really"? Or, are you truly jealous that he's with someone else and not you?</div><div>
</div><div>If it's the latter, then I agree with Stage. You need to do some serious evaluating if your gut reaction when you see ex & GF is to be jealous. Presumably you've moved on,since you're getting married and all, so no feelings of jealousy should emerge. If they are, then you have a problem. </div><div>
</div><div>None of that is meant to make you feel bad. I can understand being confused, but you have to be honest with youself. As honest as a bunch of internet strangers will be with you because we don't know you and have the benefit of objectivity. 

</div>

Peledreamsofrain

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_un-inviting-to-the-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3b17c6e0-26eb-4382-a027-478fe7dfab72Post:fc0137b3-643b-4def-a9b8-63e4cf8b0d22">Re: Never mind!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Never mind! : How old are you? Have you honestly explored why you have feelings of jealousy for Ex & his new GF? Is it just because he's your ex, and a small (irrational) part of you is thinking "back off, he's mine, but wait no not really"? Or, are you truly jealous that he's with someone else and not you? If it's the latter, then I agree with Stage. You need to do some serious evaluating if your gut reaction when you see ex & GF is to be jealous. Presumably you've moved on,since you're getting married and all, so no feelings of jealousy should emerge. If they are, then you have a problem.  None of that is meant to make you feel bad. I can understand being confused, but you have to be honest with youself. As honest as a bunch of internet strangers will be with you because we don't know you and have the benefit of objectivity. 
Posted by mkrupar[/QUOTE]

x 1000%

Nobody here is 'being mean'.  We're being completely honest because we're not close friends who are trying to preserve your feelings by lying to you.

Intense jealousy is a seriously SERIOUSLY big warning sign that you should be working very hard on straightening out asap.  See a counselor/ religious head immediately to get a better perspective.  If not for your own sake, then do it for your fiance.  He doesn't deserve to walk down that aisle with a bride that is holding a torch for her ex and in denial about it.  If you love him as much as you say, then don't cheapen his wedding by bringing the shadow of your ex with you down that aisle.