Shower gift for hostess?

doobietala

Hi All-

My second shower is this weekend and is being thrown by my FMIL for her side of the family and her friends in upstate NY.  She wanted to throw me a shower so that I would not invite her side to my Boston shower (where I live), so that her friends wouldn't feel obligated to travel all the way to Boston.  Very nice of her, but my question is am I supposed to get her a gift?

I just read on another message board about hostess presents and I hate to say that it's the first I've ever heard of that!! I had my first shower months ago (hosted by my mom and sisters) and I did not get them gifts! Now I feel bad that I didn't!! I've been a BM and put on showers before, but I've never received a gift, so I didn't know it was customary!!

Please help! what is the etiquette here?

Lyss5782

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_shower-gift-hostess?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3b5b0769-1d87-4963-bef4-839f7686b689Post:e71e83b1-e970-4490-8e68-c8dae5c8d71a">Re: Shower gift for hostess?</a>:
[QUOTE]FYI:  The thing your FMIL is hosting for her friends and FI's extended family is not a shower; it's an engagement party.  Parents really can't host showers because that is totally gift-grabby.  And the shower is for the bride's closest friends - when the party is to introduce the bride to the groom's extended family, or to introduce the groom to the bride's extended family, that party is an engagement party.
Posted by Kristin789[/QUOTE]

I think this is one of those regional things.  I have NEVER been to a shower that was not thrown by the parent.  And I'm glad, bc it is already expensive enough to be in the bridal party!

shellydiane820

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_shower-gift-hostess?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3b5b0769-1d87-4963-bef4-839f7686b689Post:e71e83b1-e970-4490-8e68-c8dae5c8d71a">Re: Shower gift for hostess?</a>:
[QUOTE]Yeah, a shower gift for the hostess is customary. <strong>FYI:  The thing your FMIL is hosting for her friends and FI's extended family is not a shower; it's an engagement party.</strong>  Parents really can't host showers because that is totally gift-grabby.  And the shower is for the bride's closest friends - when the party is to introduce the bride to the groom's extended family, or to introduce the groom to the bride's extended family, that party is an engagement party.
Posted by Kristin789[/QUOTE]

This is BS to me.  I get that etiquette says parents should not throw a shower for the couple, but its sort of hard to say no.  I know you can politely decline,  but usually when people offer to throw showers, they're excited or insistent upon it.  Not to mention most showers are women only, and its hard to have an engagement party without the groom.

doobietala

Thanks Ladies...my FMIL does like collecting soaps, so I will try to pop over to Bath and Body Works and get her something OR get her flowers.

Anthriel22

I got my shower hostesses some kitchen towels, and cute little dish scrub brushes that look like people (they have faces and the bristles are their hair).  My mom has this thing about gifts being something that she knows they will use, and we figured everyone needs kitchen towels.  I myself can never have enough!  Something small and thoughtful as a thank you is nice to do! 

ChicoJen

I have four people co-hosting a shower for me and the thought of getting them gifts was daunting - not that I didn't want to, but the added expense along with all the other expenses seemed like a lot. Being the savvy shopper that I am, I ran over to Marshall's and got them each these great 6-piece appetizer plates that come in a little carrier for $10 each. They opened them and were thrilled!

bonnyandtim

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_shower-gift-hostess?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3b5b0769-1d87-4963-bef4-839f7686b689Post:7e130970-fb3f-43f8-aa1d-507ca2b8e45f">Re: Shower gift for hostess?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Shower gift for hostess? : COOL IDEA!
Posted by bonnyandtim[/QUOTE]

I did it!

I have 3 BMs, & they are hosting my only shower. I already spent my limit on their wedding gift ($60), but I wanted to get them a little TY gift for hosting my shower.

Brie mentioned shower gel that had a card that says something like "From my shower to yours" or "Hope your showers are as nice as mine"

My MOH works @ Bath & Body Works, so she gets tons of that stuff. I sell Lia Sophia jewelry, & always have a stash of little travel size bottles to give away as door prizes, so she is getting 1 of those, plus this cake towel. I ordered this originally for a Lia Sophia prize too. I just got 1 to try it out, so it worked well for this. She loves chocolate & strawberries.
<a href="http://www.wrapwithus.com/Products/Sweet-Treats-Collection-Cute-Cupcake-towel-favor__6062-DC.aspx">http://www.wrapwithus.com/Products/Sweet-Treats-Collection-Cute-Cupcake-towel-favor__6062-DC.aspx</a>

My 2 other BMs are getting a regular sized shower gel of the PS I Love You scent, plus I bought a 5 pack of shower poofies from the $1 store.

I have some left over name cards tag things from my HS graduation announcements, so I wrote on the back "I hope you have great showers & remember that I love you."

I have a bunch of cellophane bags for Lia Sophia, so I put the gifts in 1 of those & tied the tag on with curling ribbon.

I got the shower gels for FREE because I had coupons! B&BW has many sales soon.

What do you all think?